IWS Radio IS Ready for Primetime!!

Happy Friday, Second Day of Kwanzaa, and National Fruitcake Day to one and all, and I hope that
everyone reading this, had a wonderful time celebrating the birth of the Holy Baby Jeebus this week.

I know I did.  I spent Christmas Eve at my brother Marty’s house and my son was actually there, and he had a present for ME.  It’s true!!

It was a Christmas miracle, and really?

The entire evening there was quite fun, because unlike many families, me and my brothers and sisters, get along pretty well.  But you know what I told my son Ryno Christmas Eve because I found it to be somewhat disturbing?

When I am with my brothers, even at six feet tall, I am the shortest Mahoney man in the room.  Hey, I know I was the baby of the family, but Mom and Dad, could you have spared an inch or two for me?

Wait…That didn't sound right, did it? Oh well, and anyhoo…

I, and certainly Jayman as well, hope that all of you gorgeous miscreants had a delightful Christmas.

Religious affiliation (or not) and/or whatever type of observances that you may or may not have had aside, Christmas is a great touchstone and catalyst for having fun with friends, family, and the ones whom you love.

Unless of course you send a very dear friend a picture of hot dog to their Facebook page as a token of Christmas joy and they end up deleting your wiener.  That right there is just plain, hurtful bullshit, but I digress, but I may discuss this issue further this Sunday on the IWS Radio Show, which by the way…

Is going PRIMETIME!!

Dat’s right Bitches!!  IWS Radio is going to be airing LIVE THIS SUNDAY from 8-10 PM ET, and probably will have that same time slot for at least 10-12 weeks.

Y’see?  The President and CEO of Blog Talk Radio Alan Levy approached Jay and I about going to a primetime slot because in his words…

“Primetime in the winter on BTR really slows down.  It has no pizzazz.  We need you guys….We need the IWS Radio team…We need you guys to be the straw that stirs the BTR primetime drink.”

So…I begged Drive-By Mikey to allow me to work the Beer Mine seven days a week, so that I would be sober at 8 PM ET on Sundays in order to do the show and help Alan Levy out.

Mikey put up a struggle, but he acquiesced and said to me…

“As much as I enjoy working Sundays, if you do an 8 PM show on a day that you are off, you won’t be able to dial in to the switchboard let alone talk coherently on the air.  Don’t get all gushy and thank me, but Sundays are all yours from now on Matt-Man.”

And there you have it.

So…Join us LIVE this Sunday from 8-10 PM ET as we go primetime and look back on 2013 and look ahead to 2014 during the IWS Radio 2014: Bigger and Stoopider show.

Me, Jay, Guy Ahnyurdyck, Rev. Moneymaker, Drew Peacock, Dana, Malcolm Eckstein, and a host of others will be on hand to celebrate the New Year and Kwanzaa!!

To join us LIVE this Sunday, you can click HERE.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Merry Fucking Christmas!! It's Music That Matters

It’s Christmas week and I feel like takin’ care of the lack of messages that I am getting from my son….

So let’s play some music that reminds me of my brothers who have passed:

First up, my brother John.  John and I rarely interacted until late in his life, because only then did we acknowledge that we were as smart as each other, and it was at my brother Steve’s wedding that John requested this:



And then of course, my brother Phil.  My brother Phil was going to change the world, but in the meantime, he was always betting on a particular racehorse and chicks who dug folk music:



And then unexpectedly, my brother Vince passed on this past Summer, and he was the one that lo those 30 years ago turned me onto The Cars:



The odd thing about my kid not giving a damn about me?  I don’t care that much any longer.

I love him to death, but really, as much as I would like him to like me, I don't have time to dwell on that...Just ask my brothers, 'cause well, they're dead.

But in other news, Jayman and I kicked ass celebrating the Holy Baby Jesus yesterday on Blog Talk Radio, If I'm a lyin' I'm a dyin', so check it out

Discover Comedy Internet Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
@mattmaniws
My Facebook Page

Matt Said, Jay Said...White Santa Said!!

Cheeeeeeeeeers and Ho Ho Hooooooooooola!!

White Santa here in order to hijack the typical Saturday IWS Radio edition of Matt Said, Jay Said, and turn it into, Santa Said!!

Is there a problem with me doing that just a few days before Christmas?  I make lists and name names y’know…

Okay then…I didn't think you would mind.

Let me tell you folks…Jay and Matt are going to be putting on a spectacular IWS Radio Christmas Show tomorrow.

They are going to be celebrating Christmas as it was intended to be celebrated…lots of laughs, friendly banter, hospitality, great music, and non-stop hilarity that will shine brighter than my franken-reindeer Rudolph’s nose.

Ho Ho Ho.  And as a special bonus…

Jay and Matt have promised me, that for each and every person who listens LIVE, a blind dog will get the gift of sight, and Sarah Palin and Sean Hannity will shut the fuck up about that duck fucking, Jim Crow-Loving puddle of primordial goo who has for whatever reason, captured the attention and admiration of much of a nation.

In addition to that, if you call in at 661.244.9852 and are funny and/or otherwise nice to them, you may get a sugar plum.

But Santa, you ask…Why should I listen?

Let me tell you why, my wonderfully thus far, behaved boys and girls…

Tomorrow’s,  Have a Holly Jolly Festivus radio show (which airs LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET) is chock full of comedy, Christmas readings, music, and dozens of well-wishes from the vast and diverse worldwide audience that Jay and Matt who for reasons unexplained, have captured over the years.

And yeah…

They may even mention the Holy Baby Jesus.  In fact, in addition to the sexy Trinity of Jay, Matt, and the Holy Baby Jesus…

Kirk Douglas, Bobby Kraft, Dixie Ozark, Schmoop, Slyder Balzcock, Paul Piatt, Malcolm Eckstein, Jamie, Buddy Acapella, Stubby Stonehenge, and among others, yours truly…Santa Claus are scheduled to appear.

Tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET, don’t lazily saunter to your computer, drink a cup of hot chocolate and RUN to your computer, EMBRACE your computer, and click onto, and participate in the IWS Radio Show on Blog Talk Radio.

If you don’t…You are going to be on Santa’s naughty list.  And?

Dozens of dogs will remain blind and Sean Hannity will be having oral sex with Sarah Palin, and really?

Who needs to see and/or know about that?

To listen to the IWS Radio Have a Holly Jolly Festivus Show from Noon-2 PM ET click HERE!!

Matt's Best and Worst of Christmas

Cheeeeeers and Ho Ho Ho Chuckleheads!!  It’s Christmas time and that means that now would be a good time for me to do a list of my favorite and least favorite things about Christmas, just as the uber-hot Jayman did yesterday.

Best Movies:
1.  White Christmas
2.  A Christmas Story
3.  The Bishop’s Wife (1947 Cary Grant, David Niven, Loretta Young)
4.  Christmas Vacation
5.  Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (So awful, it’s awesome)

Worst Movies:
1.  The Santa Clause
2.  Christmas with the Kranks
3.  Jack Frost
4.  Santa Claus The Movie (1985 Dudley Moore)
5.  It’s a Wonderful Life

Best Music:
1.  White Christmas  (Bing Crosby)
2.  O Come All Ye Faithful (Latin version Adeste Fidelis)
3.  O Holy Night
4.  Christmas Canon (Manheim Steamroller)
5.  Little Drummer Boy (Dolores O’Riordan/The Cranberries)

Worst Music:
1.  I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas
2.  The Christmas Shoes
3.  Wonderful Christmas Time (Sir Paul Fucking McCartney)
4.  All I Want for Christmas is You (Mariah Carey)
5.  Billy’s Christmas Wish (Red Sovine)

Best Traditions:
1.  Lights and Decorations
2.  Wassailing
3.  Making fun of Christians who celebrate the Holy Baby Jesus by adorning people they hate, with gifts.
4.  Christmas Eve at my Brother Marty’s house with the family.
5.  Eating, drinking, and listening to Christmas music with Schmoop on Christmas Day.

Worst Traditions:
1.  Christmas Family Newsletter (no changing Jayman’s #1 on that one)
2.  The Phony War on Christmas
3.  Black Friday
4.  At the in-laws, having EACH and EVERY PERSON OPEN ONE PRESENT AT A TIME!!
5.  NBA Basketball

Best Goodies:
1.  Green, Red, and Silver Hershey Kisses.
2.  Schuler’s Donuts
3.  My brother Denny’s Christmas Eve chili.
4.  Homemade decorated sugar cookies.
5.  Sugar Plums!!

Worst Goodies:
1.  Eggnog  (Good call Jayman!!)
2.  Those chocolate candies what with the maple filling.
3.  Mince Fucking Meat
4.  Fruit Cake
5.  Cheese Balls Covered in Nuts.  (C’mon…simply use Cheese, Dried Beef, and end it.)

Best General Christmas Stuff:  Hangin’ out with Schmoop, partying Christmas Eve with my family, delighting in the fact that Alyssa Milano retweeted Jayman, and stiffin’ the bell ringer outside of Wal*Mart.

Worst General Christmas Stuff:  Phonies who proclaim that Jesus is the reason for the season all the while “consumerzing”, ratings driven shout outs to our troops by the media, and the fear, dread, and worry that people feel over the fact that they may not have bought somebody the “right thing” in honor of the Holy Baby Jeebus’ made up birth date.

Perhaps, if we are truly Christians or decent people in general, we would be better served by replacing His Birthday with Sermon on the Mount Day.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Job Training Partnership Act

Cheeeeeeeeeeers and Happy Tuesday to you all!!

I know that there are many of you out there who have recently been laid-off, let go, and/or otherwise downsized from your jobs as we enter this festive time of year, and to you all, I say God Bless, and I hope you still have some semblance of a happy holiday season, however…

I can neither faintly nor remotely begin to describe the sadness of your holiday-time layoff, but I can describe the layoff that is affecting me.

And that layoff involves my BFF/OSP, Schmoop who was recently callously and hurtfully terminated just last week.

Her layoff burns me to the core as I know how sensitive she is.  I try not to cry, but I witnessed her giving of herself for nearly thirteen years as office manager to the company for which she worked, and I know how devastated she is.

Sure…I could temporarily cajole my darling Schmoop with a peck on the cheek, an occasional atta boy, and words of, “It’ll be alright.”

But…

If I do truly love her, the best way to help her is to get her post-partum layoff mind off of the, “stinkin’ thinkin’” and put her to work…allow her to develop new job skills, and…give her a sense of self-worth.

So…I figure I could set some daily chores for her as she begins her journey toward re-employment, all the while helping her to develop new skills.

Painting is a good profession and one that will always have a market. I noticed recently that our bathroom and kitchen could use a fresh coat of paint.  Schmoop could develop scraping off the old paint and applying the new paint skills by scraping off the walls and stroking up a fresh, friendly coat of paint upon the walls of both rooms.

Being a good cook is also a well paid trade that will always be in demand.  Perhaps Schmoop could learn not to just re-heat things, but delve deeper into honing her nascent culinary skills, by cooking a handmade and homemade breakfast, lunch, and dinner for me every damn day.  After all, repetition is a good teacher!!

Schmoop does have a nice voice.  She could always become a stay-at-home phone sex operator.  We had a former phone sex line chick on our radio show two weeks ago, and she was telling stories of receiving blank checks from her clientele.

Which leads me to another line of work Schmoop could look into…

Philanthropist.

When and if Schmoop received blank checks from her potential and aforementioned phone sex customers, she could then hand the checks over to me knowing full well that it is better to give than receive.

I could then use that money to invest in my our future leaving Schmoop time to no longer worry about money, and instead focus on honing her skills as a Geisha Girl, a massage therapist, and naked vacuuming. And I?

I would be her helpful and dutiful test case the entire time, offering encouragement, compassion, and critical suggestions on how to become better at all of those things.

So there you go…

While it is through the hurt on Schmoop’s behalf that I type this jobs training program, I suffer through it, because I love her so damn much and long for her to be the best Schmoop that she can be.

The road back to employability won’t be easy for Schmoop, but doggone it…

I’m going to make sure that both of us don’t suffer along the way.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_IWS
My Facebook Page 

The IWS Person of the Week: Black Santa

After having his very real and imaginary existence being ridiculed, rejected, and otherwise scoffed and disbelieved this week, Black Santa is here to show you that he is very real and the IWS Person of the Week as well...

Oh sure...Megyn Kelly, the latest, prime time, right-wing Fox News ratings whore emphatically stated this week, that Santa is a white man...

Unfortunately for her and her Christmas stocking, joyful Black Santa has nothing but an angry finger of "Oh no you dint" and a lump of coal...

Hell, Black Santa even has a Black Mrs. Claus...He married a former 70's TV star who feigned her own death so she could marry and live in snow laden luxury with her magical Black Santa man...

Black Santa has even given the okay to re-release an old album about him and his life in order to set the record straight...

It's such a shame that Black Santa has to go through all of this in order to correct the flippant and uncorroborated words of one Megyn Kelly, especially during the Christmas Season, but...

Black Santa will continue to travel the globe this Christmas as he always does and leave something for everyone, except for her.  When she doesn't realize why her stocking is empty Christmas morning, don't tell her.  Let her figure it out on her own...

Annnnnnnnnd while Megyn Kelly will soon be wallowing in her Christmas grief, Jay, Matt, and the entire IWS Radio staff are having their IWS Radio Office Christmas Party 2013 today LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET!!

Sex, hilarity, gift giving, layoffs, and yuletide debauchery will be taking place from our offices in Arkansas, Ohio, and Canada.

It's going to be a HUGE show.  So HUGE, that the Blog Talk Radio staff has picked it as one of their Best of the Week.

So listen LIVE, and as always, feel free to participate by calling in at 661.244.9852.

To join the fun and frivolity LIVE, CLICK HERE!!

Yes Megyn Kelly There is a Black Santa Claus, And An Asian One, And So On...

Cheeeeeeers and Happy Friday the 13th to you all!!

I am getting really excited as I always do this time year, because there are only twelve days until my white Santa Claus brings me presents in honor of the white Baby Jesus.

Holy Christmas my friends…along with white Santa, and white Jesus, there is snow on the ground here as well.  The whiteness abounds!!

It’s no wonder White Christmas sung by Bing Crosby is such a big holiday hit.  Irving Berlin was a master of Search Engine Optimization back in the days of telegrams, phone operators, and something really fancy called air mail, and he knew how to capitalize on the whiteness of the holiday season.

However much to my chagrin yesterday, I learned that some non-Santa Colored Skin chick named Aisha Harris wrote a piece for Slate.com stating that she would prefer, that in order to embrace all of the world’s different cultures, Santa not be white, not be a man, but rather, be a Santa Penguin.

Well bar the door to white Santa’s Factory because Ms. Harris’ editorial really set the slowly grinding gears of Megyn Kelly’s quasi-legal mind into full indictment.

Legal SHEagle Megyn Kelly after citing parts of Ms. Harris’ article, responded on her FOX News show this past Wednesday…

“For you kids watching at home; Santa just is white. But this person is arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa…Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. You know, I mean, Jesus was a white man, too.”

Ha…First of all, when I read Ms. Harris’ piece, and then heard a clip from Megyn Kelly’s show, I laughed my ass off for the same reason that Ezra Klein did, and to paraphrase him…

Megyn Kelly profoundly claims that the imaginary present-giving man who commands flying reindeer is white.

Ha!!  This is what America has become.  I mean, I would expect this type of debate within the “hallowed” halls of the House of Representatives, but among normal, everyday American people?

And yes, I know this argument and/or titanic race debate of Santa was promulgated by some chick writing on Slate and a dullard with cute hair and no soul on FOX, but Americans on both sides are eating it up and weighing in.  Including yours truly, however…

I am weighing in to say…I find it stupefying that there is a debate and WAR now raging about the physical make-up of an imaginary man,  but I find it more mind boggling that no one has asked me to settle the imaginary feud over the imaginary man that is Santa.

You see…

Santa is white…Santa is also black…He is also Asian…He is Mexican…He is a single black mother.  He is a single white dad.  Santa is a waitress with three kids, and she is a woman who has adopted a kid along with her female spouse.

Santa is a southern boy from Arkansas, a sarcastic bastard from Ohio, and the homeless man or woman who opened the door for you at the department store today so you could go in first, do your shopping, and they could follow you in and warm up before they went to sleep outside.

So to Aisha Harris and Megyn Kelly, you both are wrong.  Santa comes in a myriad of different skin colors, gestures, and Christmas wrappings.

Santa is an attitude…a fictional, yet joyful personification of hope, and an inspiration to all people for but mere moments during the calendar year.

And seriously…when that Christmas joy, fun, and happiness happens in the blink of an eye, do you really care or even remember what color Santa was?

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Christmas Time Layoffs Suck

“Fire and damnation! Don't they know that I'm trying to run a business here?"

--Scrooge

Well hail and welcome to the Christmas Season one and all.

Two weeks plus one day until we celebrate the birth of the Holy Baby Jeebus and/or shallowly shower each other with lead based gifts from China and gift cards to Subway.

Kidding, kidding, of course.  I love Christmas.  I’m Father Christmas…I am Matt-Man Christmas.

I know…I may have sounded sarcastic just then, but I really do love Christmas, because it is, religious affiliation aside, fun time with family and friends no matter what your denomination or liturgical proclivity.

However…

My Red and Green Christmas has just suffered a Black Eye, because after twelve and a half years of being “The Girl Friday”, my BFF/OSP, Schmoop, has been callously laid off by one Bill “Scrooge” Pence.

That’s right…

Last year at this time as Schmoop spent seven hours on a gutting table in order to remove a uncooperative bile duct by a trained physician, she now spends this Christmas getting her soul ripped out by a man who couldn't wait three weeks to lay her off and by the way, he smells like onions.

Ol’ Scrooge Pence was, and is probably saying…

“Merry Fucking Christmas Schmoop…You were my sidekick, gate-keeper, and confidante for nearly thirteen years, but it is time for me to have you gunned down like my Lenin to your Trotsky.  Sorry I couldn't tell you while you were at work today that you were laid-off, I wanted to wait and call you when you got home”

Feliz Navidad and Blammo!!

I will be attending Schmoop’s official firing today, and you know why?

Bill “Scrooge” Pence and his know-it-all Grandson VP who probably just received a raise, think they can get one pass the Schmoopster.

Little do they know the love I have for Schmoop, the knowledge I have of labor laws, or the power of IWS Radio to critically fuck them up.

You know what’s sad?

I hope that today…Schmoop gets her last paycheck from there; he hands her a signed letter of termination, and then she can apply for unemployment, and we move on.

But you know what?

He will add insult to injury by somehow tying things up, delaying it, or otherwise making a mess of things.

And if he does?

I hope you will join us this Sunday during our IWS Radio Office Christmas Party when we will discuss this further.

Cheers!!
Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Springfield Icon and Adored Secret Santa, Dead at Age 67

(AP) Springfield, Ohio
Chuck Abernathy, Reporter

“Words cannot express the sorrow that I feel at this moment. No amount of tears can purge my soul of the loss. Bagwine Kringle gave so much to so many, and his passing will be felt the world 'round.”

That was the comment from one, Dex Lexler.  Mr. Lexler age 51, was a close friend to Springfield, Ohio icon and self-proclaimed Santa, Harley Rusbam, also known as Bagwine Kringle, and more simply, BK.

Mr. Rubsam, 67, of 819 Cedar St., was pronounced dead yesterday at Springfield Regional Medical Center due to an accidental ingestion of fish bones.

It seems BK and a couple of his “elves”, Tina Trinity and the aforementioned Mr. Lexlar, were hurriedly wrapping Christmas presents for some of the less fortunate local kids.

While Ms. Trinity and Mr. Dexler selfishly ran next door to grab a sandwich, Bagwine Kringle the workaholic that he is, ate what he had on hand and continued the Christmas assemblage.

He was hurriedly gulping down some Salmon Fancy Feast cat food and evidently began to choke on a small bone.  When Dexlar and Trinity returned, he was lying on the floor gasping for air.

Mr. Lexlar called the paramedics while Tina attempted to ply Kringle with some Wild Irish Rose to relax his throat muscles.

She quickly found out that that was not the best idea.

He spewed out a mixture of WIR and bile that was described as, “a poorly made Sterno sauce with a stench reminiscent of Steel Reserve urine.”

Although nearing death, Bagwine Kringle was with his two best friends.

BK was with his dear friend Tina, whose street name is, “Bowling Ball.” Tina is a 48 year old prostitute with large breasts, two prosthetic legs, and a glass eye.

Her seductive wiles are legendary.  Some women can spread their legs incapably wide, but Tina, she can take hers completely off.

She is also very accommodating. If a client is feeling extremely kinky, she will pop out her glass eye, and let him give her, shall we say...a facial.

Tina is one who gives and gives, and that is why she and Bagwine Kringle were pals.

And then, there's good ol’ Dex Lexler, or “Sarge”, as BK called him.  Dex was never in the military, but BK always kidded him that he looked like the dog from Beetle Bailey.

True, the dog’s name was actually Otto, but BK was close. The two shared so many of the same traits…compassion, generosity, and cirrhosis of the liver.

They were of one mind inside of two bodies and now sadly, they are half the men they used to be…or something like that.

When paramedics arrived, BK was nearly expired. His lungs raled bilaterally, desperately gasping for air, but it was not to be.

Tina and Sarge looked down upon BK as they sobbed unrelentingly.

And then, as the medics placed him on the cart, Bagwine Kringle looked at his friends with that familiar twinkle in his one good eye, and with his final breath said...

“Don’t cry for me Sarge ‘n’ Tina.”

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_IWS
My Facebook Page 

Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You

Cheeeeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and a Happy Tuesday to you all.

Do you realize what day it is?  It’s exactly three weeks and one day prior to Christmas, and I always observe December 3rd as my…

What Do I Want for Christmas Day!!

Why do I observe such a day three weeks and one day prior to Christmas, you ask?

Well…

Three weeks may be plenty for a normal person to decide what they want for Christmas, but as I am one who procrastinates, that extra day provides me with a much needed buffer between Christmas joy and being left with an empty feeling when I receive nothing but leftover love from my son on Christmas, as Jay and I discussed on Sunday’s, IWS Radio broadcast.

Anyhoo…

If I really were to want something for Christmas, I would want a Grade A microphone/headset combination.  I mean, the one I have is okay, but it sounds “tinny” no matter what adjustments I make to it.  I have a whiny voice to begin with and the tinny sounding microphone doesn't help to improve my voice nor my rep.

New speakers for my computer would be nice as well.  The speakers that I currently have, are getting a little tired.  I think that perhaps, too many Stubby Stonehenge replays through their tiny tweeters and woofers have distorted their sound.  Yeah, new speakers would be nice.

There’s one last thing I would like…okay two actually.

A block of Velveeta “cheese”, and a Cassano’s pizza or sub.

I know…boring, right?

Perhaps to some of the younger hipsters, but I have discovered something as I type this two months shy of my 49th birthday.  As I get older, Christmas means something much different than it did when I was a kid or even ten years ago.

I’m not talking about having a liturgical type of religious experience or anything, but Christmas has become, in a way, a time of year and day, that as my age rears its ugly head, a time that I also recognize all of the old friendships that grace my life.

The first time that Christmas made me feel old was about ten years ago.  My mom called me and asked what I would like for Christmas.  I didn't ask for a cool and hip toy, game, or latest what have ya like I did when I was a kid.  Noooooooo…I said to Mom…

“I could really use some new socks, or maybe a new white dress shirt, or a tie.”

IKR?  That’s pretty sexy.  Nearly as sexy as wanting a block of Velveeta or a Cassano’s pizza, but here’s the thing.

As I get older, if someone asks me what I would like for Christmas, it is always something I need, because as for me, the excitement of Christmas has become not the gift, but the rekindling and reconnecting with people that I like and I love.

My favorite part of Christmas is going to my brother’s house on Christmas Eve and partying with my family, all the while exchanging gift cards that we would probably buy ourselves for ourselves, and then…

Spending Christmas Day with Schmoop as we play music, eat way too much, drink way too much, and laugh way too much (if that’s possible) all damn day.

I don’t believe that Christmas as observed is the actual day of the birth of Jesus, and I do believe that if Christ were alive today, he would be appalled by its celebration, but I do think one thing.

Be it a hoax, a religious event, a secularist party, or just another day on the calendar, Christmas is an excellent time and/or excuse to reconnect with, and drunk dial those you love.

And if that’s all Christmas truly is, I like that…a lot.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_IWS
My Facebook Page    

Holiday Palooza...Let's Party!!

Hi Y’all…and Happy Thursday to all you discerning readers of the IWS Radio website.

Seems as though, I read yesterday that Jayman is getting ready for the holiday season, and is about to take a sabbatical from all things IWS Radio wise.

He says he is going to take off on the 23rd of this month, and head northerly and slightly west or so, and camp his creativity in of all places, Omaha, Nebraska.

To Jayman, I bid you a good stay, a good holiday, and I hope that your family is actually glad that you are spending time with them.

As to a certain housekeeping note, Jay informed me that if he is murdered while in Omaha, he has written down on a piece of *******, that explains why *********  **** killed him.

I appreciate that, and if not too drunk upon his demise while on holiday, I will follow-up upon that.

Seriously though?

I know that Jayman loves his family, and well…they are a very nice family, and he is a fairly nice guy.

I dearly love my family, except for one sister, and…

I love many people with whom I have united with, reunited with, discovered, and re-discovered.

Many of whom, helped Schmoop and I through a most tumultuous this time last year.

I have always been a sucker for Thanksgiving, because it was the one time a year that all of my family was together…all day.

As the youngest of nine, it wasn’t Christmas Eve when we gathered at 7 PM for a few hours that turned me on, it was Thanksgiving…Thanksgiving was all day family…I miss it…I loved it.

I am so happy that Jayman is seeking a week of solace away with his family as they celebrate the white man inviting Indians over for a meal, taking their land, all the while drugging the redskin with tryptophan…

That is so real, so God-Sent, so American!!

I hope when all is said done, that Jay and his family enjoy a piece of, Trail of Tears pie together.  It’s a very easy recipe…

Two mud caked moccasins sandwiched between two pieces of buffalo hide.  Very Tasty!!

Anyhoo…

As Jay said on his post yesterday, he will be gone for awhile and we won’t be doing a show on the 24th…

Or will we?

C’mon ladies, it’s show your tits on the radio show time with Matt-Man!!

Let’s do a free Boobie Show on the 24th in honor of Jayman!!

Ha…Kidding of course…Unless there are enough participants.

Anyhoo…Join Jayman and I this Sunday, as we strike a discordant chord and kick off the Holidays on IWS Radio…

In order to catch us LIVE this Sunday, click HERE

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_IWS
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Matt Said, Jay Said...888-836-7025

Matt strains to hear...Jay whispers...You say, what the fuck?

Matt:  Hello?
Jay:  hello.
Matt:  HELLO?
Jay:  matt…it’s me, jayman.
Matt:  JAY!?
Jay:  shhhh…keep it down.
Matt:  What?  Why the hell are you whispering?
Jay:  i’m at nana creta’s funeral and this is our only chance to prep before sunday’s show.

Matt:  oh okay…how’s the funeral going?
Jay:  oh fine, i haven’t embarrassed myself yet.
Matt:  excellent…is your hair still holding its own again the wind and the elements.
Jay:  it looks pretty damn good…if i do say so, myself.
Matt:  you just did.
Jay: i know right?

Matt:  hey…our show this sunday is a blog talk radio staff pick.  we need to be “on it.”
Jay:  i know…it’s as if btr knew i was grieving and vulnerable and decided to finally feature our show.
Matt:  it’s as if those bastards know when we aren’t ready.
Jay:  that’s okay; we’ll adapt and overcome.

Matt:  true dat.  what are you guys doing after the funeral?
Jay:  probably just hang out, and play some yahtzee or something.
Matt:  HA!!
Jay:  shhhhhhhh
Matt:  ooooo….sorry, but it’s funny you say that, because Schmoop and I are currently playing monopoly.
Jay:  awwww, that’s nice.  board games like that bring people closer together.
Matt:  i love board games, especially at this holiday time of year with friends and family getting together.

Jay:  maybe we could talk about our all-time favorite games n’shit.
Matt:  AWESOME IDEA!!
Jay:  DAMN MATT….SHHHHHHHH.
Matt:  you too…shush…
Jay:  oh jeez…okay, i’m better now.  that was close…
Matt:  everything okay?
Jay:  yeah, i think perhaps that one freaky cousin i barely know heard me, but it’s all good.
Matt: okay.

Matt:  okay then…we’ll talk about the holidays and board games bringing us all together with jesus and each other…

Matt:  jay?

Jay:  sorry…rev. moneymaker is eulogizing.
Matt:  our rev. moneymaker?
Jay:  well sure…he’s already on staff…why pay for an outsider?
Matt:  wow…from now on when i think of you, i will think…cost-effective.
Jay:  hey, money doesn't grow on trees ya know, but in a way, board games do.
Matt:  good point.

Jay:  alright then…i think we are ready for the games people play show.
Matt:  yes we are.  it should be a huge one.
Jay:  but not nearly as huge as the life that my nana creta lived.
Matt:  word.  a good woman through and through.
Jay:  yes she was, and will be missed.

Matt and Jay:  AMEN!!

Matt and Jay:  OH SHIT!!  shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So folks, join IWS Radio LIVE this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET as Jay and I discuss our favorite games, and as we discuss the wicked mind games that friends and family play throughout the holiday season.

To listen LIVE this Sunday, you can click right HERE!!