Apologies Are Not a Sign of Weakness; They Are a Sign of Strength

Cheers Bitches and welcome to the no feel world of Tuesday. Matt-Man here with an important announcement that you will not hear very often, if ever again…

Yesterday was National Kiss and Make Up Day, and today is Repentance Day in Papua-New Guinea.

Although I’m a person who believes that to completely make up (with a woman that is) intercourse MUST be involved, and while I’m neither Papuan nor New Guinean, I thought I would honor the spirit of these two observances by apologizing to a few of the many folks that I may have offended over the years.

To Luigi Vizarri, who was developing a new housing edition to Bagwine in the late 70’s…I apologize for freaking you out when I along with a few friends, built a fake bomb and placed it on the doorstep of one of your un-finished homes.  It looked like a time bomb and was filled with peat moss, but seriously?

We didn't need to put the note inside of it that read, “Bang Wop, You’re Dead!!”  Totally uncalled for.

To the window salesman who some eight to ten years ago kept phone pestering me to let him give me an estimate on new windows.  I apologize for finally saying okay, and after you tried to find our house for over an hour, you were informed that we reside in an apartment building.  That is hours of your life you’ll never get back, and I apologize.

I want to hearken back to two weeks before my HS sophomore year when as the North High School Marching Band was practicing, I ran down a hill disguised in a face mask hat and hurled a goose egg at the marching band director, Michael Mattimore.

To you Mr. Mattimore, I apologize.  It was cruel and childish, however…I will never apologize for my aim. Most highly-paid NFL quarterbacks couldn't have made that throw on a full-out downhill run like I did.

Also related to this event, to our implanted and top secret videographer of the goose egg attack Rob Stevens who spilled the beans.  I apologize to you for not having beaten the shit out of you for turning me in.  I got suspended for two weeks you cackle box.

Lastly…I apologize to my best friend and soul mate Schmoop, because well she asked me to do so publicly and profoundly.  She claims that I use her as a mere piece of gratuitous flesh from time to time to promote IWS Radio without consideration of her feelings.

I don’t know what the hell the crazy chick is talking about, but okay.  I apologize to the Schmoopster.

One thing I do not apologize for nor will I ever, is listening to IWS Radio, and perhaps…

Those of you reading this could apologize to IWS Radio by listening to our Season Five opener on Blog Talk Radio.  If you’d like to listen and repent for your to until now failure to laugh out loud…

Click HERE…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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MSJS: Wholesome Is The New Smut

Matt confesses.  Jay repents.  You…are skeptical of their new found wholesomeness.

Matt:  Hola.
Matt:  Hola?
Jay:  Helloooooooo?  Anyone there?
Matt:  What up dawg?

Jay:  M’eh nothing much and you?
Matt:  Let me tell you…I have already done the dishes, shit, showered, and dressed for the day!!

Jay:  I’ll alert the media.
Matt:  Thank you.

Jay:  Last Sunday’s fucking, sucking, and ass ramming smut show was kind of uncomfortable.
Matt:  I know.  I still feel dirty about it.
Jay:  We need to cleanse our minds, bodies, and souls this week.

Matt:  You mean do some type of confession and repentance show?
Jay:  Well sorta…We should do a good, wholesome, family fun type of show.
Matt:  I’m always up for some wholesome family fun especially if a hot sister is involved.
Jay:  No…No…We have to move past that smut and talk about good things…pure things.
Matt:  Alright.

Jay:  We could do a few mea culpas for being sinners at times.  Kinda like going to confession.
Matt:  As you know, I was raised Catholic, so confession brings back some fond memories.
Jay:  Fond memories, or memories of being fondled?
Matt:  See?  See?  We can’t go there this week.
Jay:  Damn.  You’re right.  My bad.
Matt:  We could talk about religion and how it helps us out and/or makes us laugh.

Jay:  Hell…We could rank religions by their wholesomeness.
Matt:  Brilliant!!

Jay:  We could read some of the wholesome goings on in our town from our local newspapers.
Matt:  That’s always a good, Andy, Barney, Mayberry kind of wholesome time right there.
Jay:  IKR?  Maybe Schmoop could show up with some fried chicken from the deli.

Matt:  I dunno, but she did have a couple of incidences where IWS Radio took over her life.
Jay:  Oh my…I hope she is alright.
Matt:  She survived, and we’ll discuss.

Jay:  I think perhaps Rev. Moneymaker should add his liturgical voice to this show.
Matt:  By all means, as will Slyder Balzcock.  That man is the epitome of wholesome.

Jay:  He is, and I’ll get Drew Peacock to show his wholesome side this week also.
Matt:  Drew Peacock?  Does he have a wholesome side?
Jay:  I guess we’ll find out Sunday.

Matt:  Wow this is turning into quite the wholesome extravaganza!!
Jay:  And dig it…Triple Jaxxx will have a song for us yet again.
Matt:  Be still my heart…When I think of Jaxxx, I think wholesomeness.

Jay:  I think we’re ready…This going to be a kick ass…er, loving pat on the butt wholesome show.
Matt:  I am with ya my wholesome friend.
Jay:  Let’s do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

To join Jay, Matt, and the hilarity with the rest of the IWS Radio Team as they broadcast their, Good Wholesome Decent Family Fun Show episode LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET tomorrow on Blog Talk Radio…click HERE!!

Thanks To You For Being The Lovable Sickos That You Are!!

Cheers and a Happy Tuesday to you all.  After this past Sunday’s IWS Radio Show, I was nearly feeling elated yesterday, but my hangover from Sunday’s debauchery was such, that I could not feel elated until today. But…

Now that I can feel again, I want to talk about the positive feelings of love, good-will, and support that are raining down upon my detoxified mind and body, and on behalf of the team here at IWS Radio, I want to give a virtual hug and say thanks to some people for making me smile during Sunday’s show.

Jayman and I had set-up Sunday’s show as a jab at Blog Talk Radio to see if they would accept our, “The Gentlemen’s Guide to Sucking and Fucking a Lady” title.  Well, unfortunately….they did, and the pressure was on for us to perform.

Now don’t get me wrong, Jayman and I during our private Thursday morning show prep call can be downright filthy man-sluts, but we like to entertain a modicum of decorum during our LIVE show on Sundays.  So…

We asked for surrogates to help us out and record their naughty bits for us for this past Sunday’s show, and lo and behold…

Many degenerate, lascivious, sex-crazed, foot-fetishing, yet well-meaning sociopaths quickly and amicably acquiesced to our call for assistance.

Chris performed a reading of a story that would have made the late Bob Guccione blush.  Triple Jaxxx not only hung out on the phone with us for awhile, recited her bathtub desires to us, but also sang, quite sexily I might add, about how she enjoys touching herself to the thoughts of Jay and myself.

Glass Half Full Gal verbally gyrated for over seven minutes about sex, which afforded me the time to not only take a leak, but to do a little something else while I was in the bathroom listening to her piece.

A former Bagwine, Ohio resident and current longtime Alabamian, Amy…chimed in with a nice bumper full of southern charm and sexy giggles. I think we need to change her name to Alabamy.  Anyhoo…

Lonnnnnng time friend to me and IWS Radio and even longer to the Jayman, Cracker, recorded a bumper for Paul Piatt’s spot so sexy, that he is still blushing and wondering what in the hell a Rusty Sandwich is.

And well that’s it…or is it?

IWSRADIO.COM

Ha…No post of people helping out Jay and I would be complete without the acknowledgement of one Miss Jamie Mapleleaf.  The lovely Jamie is without question our biggest fan…probably because it is colder in Canada longer than here in the states, and listening to us is more comfortable than going outside. Nonetheless…

Jamie has for a long time done a funny intro line about me every week, contributed and recorded countless bits for the show, and for whatever reason, she has to be the only person who has listened to all 290 shows that IWS Radio has broadcast.

I maybe shouldn’t say this, but Jamie said to me recently that being included as part of the IWS Radio Show was a gift to her.  Pffffffffffft, she has it ass backwards, her being a part of the show is a gift to Jay and I. Jamie is incredible, and that’s that.

I just did want to say, now that I have my wits about me, thank you all for participating in Sunday’s IWS show. Y’all were great and keep in mind…

You all are welcome to send stuff to us anytime.  Suggest show ideas.  Suggest guests.  Be a guest. Whatever!!

Keep the good stuff coming, but please…for the next couple of shows could your ideas and submissions be free of your sick and depraved lifestyles?  After a couple of weeks…feel free to let your freak flags rise again.

Cheers and Thanks All!!

Matt-Man

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A Mexican Immigrant Has Sent Me Upon a Trail of Tears

Cheers and a Happy Thursday to you all…well…to all of you, but uno.

“What, you ask?  Is Matt-Man feeling down on somebody?  That is so unlike him.”, you mutter.

Yes IWS Radio fans, readers, and listeners…

I am feeling a bit of anger and let down by a person who I thought to be a friend of mine, and to the IWS Radio Show and its vast and diverse worldwide audience as well.

For those of you who follow Jay, myself, and IWS Radio, you may recall a man by the name of Luis.  Or know him by the moniker The Ice Man.

Luis is a Mexican immigrant who last summer became a U.S. citizen, and who has for years and continues to this day, to deliver bags of ice to the Beer Mine…conveniently located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett in Bagwine, Ohio.

Anyway…Luis is…er, was…a friend of the show.

We have had Luis and his wife as well mind you, on the show a couple of times in order to celebrate his rough journey from the poverty of Mexico to his travels both physically and legally into becoming a U.S. citizen.

It was but a year or so ago when I posted a congratulatory message of …um…congratulations to him on becoming an official U.S. citizen on this very website.

Jay and I also simulcasted our appreciation of his efforts on the IWS Radio show when it all went down.

Luis was happy to be on the show…asked me every week during his drop off how the show was doing , and was rooting us on.

Yeah, we were all a big happy Mexican-Family back then when IWS Radio was but a cute little show, and then?  A year later, after the slow yet eventual Americanizing of Mr. Luis had clasped her eagle talons and amber waves of grain upon him…he evidently changed.

Monday, when he stopped by the Beer Mine to make his ice delivery, I told him that IWS Radio is now getting between 15-20,000 listens a week, and he responded in a tone that spoke of bewilderment…

“Why?”, and before I could respond he added…

“What the hell kind of people listen to you guys?”

I was in a word…hurt.

See?  Here we are…

Jay, Matt, and the entire IWS Radio Nation standing behind the struggles and ultimate victory of Luis overcoming his treacherous desert journey, his trail of tears upon a hike amongst scorpions, thugs, and the Chupacabra, and at long last liberty achieving his goal of American Citizenship, and what do we get in return?

Nothing but a hot, Baja California-Sized dose of German schadenfreude from a Mexican who is now an American.  Un…fucking…believable!!

I am still happy that Luis has become an American, but what I am not happy about, is that he has become in one short year, typically American.

Americans root for the underdog and then when said up and comer gets a taste of success, Americans chew and claw at the success of the underdog like the aforementioned Chupacabra.

It breaks my heart Luis…It breaks my heart, but nonetheless…Make sure you bring our ice by 3 o’clock this coming Monday if you haven’t taken the day off, or called in sick like Americans tend to do on Mondays.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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Excuse Me; Could We Please Be Happy For A Second!?

Cheers!!  Greetings!!  And welcome to the IWS Radio website, and a happy Friday to you all.

This past week, Jay and I have been nothing but cynical, satirical, and sarcastic.

We have made fun of Ann Coulter, people with two first names, list makers, and Donald Sterling just to name a few…albeit Mr. Sterling has a last name that is not his actual last name, but it makes him happy, and we are all about the happy.

However, this week was a big downer, and not a very joyful week, so…

It’s time to shed the yoke of cynicism and sarcasm, have some fun, and delight in the joy that are the people who are good, and things that make me happy aside from Schmoop. Jayman, Jamie, my family, my IWS family, and what not…and by golly, I have a list.

Last night?  I had no clue as to what we should have for dinner, so?  I called up the Pizza King, Vic Cassano, and lo and behold, thirty minutes and $25.00 later, I had the best pizzas in the freaking world delivered to me.  I love Cassano’s Pizza.

And speaking of food, you know what else elicits a happy, happy joy, joy feeling into my digestive core being? SPAM.  Sure, people make fun of SPAM for being the non-meat, but let me tell ya, I LOVE it.  It is delicious, nutritious, and versatile.

Of course, when eating, one needs a beverage with which to wash all the deliciousness down, and what is my liquid of choice?  Steel Reserve.  The 211, Baby!!  I know, I know…that’s ghetto beer you say, but let me tell you…if hanging out with Malcolm in the projects at 2:15 PM and drinking a 211 is wrong?  I don’t want to be right.

I haven’t mentioned many people that I actually have love for, but here is a guy who is gold.  Nigel.

He lives with me, doesn't say much, and brought his own beer and smokes.  If someone shows up on your doorstep with those attributes, bring em’ on in.

As for other house guests?  I’m not a fan, however if I was to have one?  It would be Missalicious.

That chick has a whole lot of 5’3” hotness going on, and…She can always request to call me at 12:15 in AM demanding some venting time, and oh yeah, I listen.

Seriously though, just like all of the aforementioned things, I love the Miss and yeah, other than knowing her for 35 years, the reasons for my love for her are inexplicable, except for one…she makes me smile every time we talk.

And really?  That is all any of us needs.  Good food, good drink, and good people…Well…we all need one other thing, music...and that is where these guys come in.

Another group of people that I heart and always have is, The Cars.

Now that we have everything for a good time, I wish you a wonderful Friday, a wonderful weekend, and a wonderful life.  I hope to ‘see’ you on the radio Sunday as we continue this love fest, but until then…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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That's What Friends Are For

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from a listener, and she said in her e-mail…

Among other things…

From the bottom of my heart...thank you. You and Jay hold a special
place in my heart and I love being in your world, even if just a tiny
part of it.

Jay and I have been doing the website and radio show for over three years, and it would be nice to finally make some money from it, but this morning when I woke up to the following e-mail, and none of that mattered.

The worth of our website, and our show, was monetized in one simple e-mail.

And the worth of it, was turned to gold by that one e-mail.

Oh sure, Jay and I would like to one day make some money off of the show and website, but in the meantime…

If we get one e-mail a day like the one I posted, we would be pretty damn happy as well.

Jay and I do the show primarily for fun, to laugh, and to make others laugh, but a little coin never hurt nooooobody, unless it’s thrown in a manner of hate, and at high speeds, but I digress…

Sometimes, and I speak for myself (but Jay goes through the same thing), it takes 35-40 hours a week to post on the website every other day and get ready for the NUMBER ONE COMEDY SHOW on Blog Talk Radio, but..?

I love it.  Yet sometimes, I say to myself, “What the fuck; why the hell are we doing this?”  And then?

We get an e-mail like the one I printed above, and the hope of the monetary gain goes by the wayside, because the joy experienced by a listener is payment enough.

I know that this is a boring, and unfunny post, but it is a post of which I am most proud, because our little comedy show that could, changed the life of at least one person.

And really?  That’s all that matters.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Super Bowl XLVIII...The Home Team Wins!!

We are but a mere five days away from Super Bowl XLVIII, so I thought that maybe, as I did last year, solicit unsolicited invites to the Super Bowl parties of others who would have never invited me in the first place…solicited, unsolicited, or otherwise.

See?  Last year when I pleaded for invitations to Super Bowl parties, I actually received a handful of invites, accepted one, and actually showed up to said event.

Sure, it was somewhat surreal and odd at the party when I showed up, but I had a good time, because I got to hang out with a friend whom I had
n’t seen in years.

I thought I would do the same thing this Super Bowl season, and maybe have two fun, spontaneous Super Bowls in a row…so, I posted this last night upon my Facebook Page…

Guess what?  Not a single invite, well…not a serious one.  Oh sure…

My friend, the wonderfully sarcastic and avid IWS Radio listener Tiffany, told me to come on down for her Super Bowl party, but of course, she only did that because she lives in Florida, and knew that she was safe from me actually showing up.

And then my nearly life-long buddy and IWS’ own Nurse Sherri, suggested that I party with our mutual Japanese friend, Saynora Tokahama or whatever.  The dude is pretty cool, but he lives in Japan.

Even if I could party and watch the game with him, as he does live in Japan, I’d be watching the Super Bowl on a Monday, and something about that just doesn’t sit well with me, and feels, well…downright un-American.

Well anyway, the bottom lie is, thus far I have not been on the receiving end of any party invites, so I guess I’ll have to watch the game here at home with Schmoop.  And, hey…don’t get me wrong!!

I love hanging with Schmoop Super Bowl night or any time of year, but getting an acceptance of my unsolicited invite to a Super Bowl would make me happy…would make me chuckle, and most importantly, would provide me with awesome blog fodder.

However, Schmoop and I will have a wonderful time this Super Bowl Sunday.

If we have the funds, we’ll order a pizza.  If not, we’ll make one ourselves.  We can make dried beef cream cheese roll-ups, and have pickles, cheese and crackers, olives annnnnnnnnnd, baked pepperoni.  Mangia!

And the best thing about staying home and watching the Super Bowl with Schmoop?

Probably as early as the end of the first quarter, we will turn off the game, crank up some tunes, drink beer, eat snacks, and goof on people and each other.

And really?  For most Americans, that is what Super Bowl Sunday is all about, having parties which surround a person with laughter and good friends.  The Super Bowl has become much more than a mere NFL Championship football game.

The Super Bowl has become the winter thaw.  A day when for a few hours, the soul-sucking, drab, monochromatic winter becomes a festival of watercolors in the shades of flashy uniforms, delicious junk food, funny commercials, too much beer, and the warmth of close friends.

And since Schmoop is my best friend, I guess watching the big game at home is where I should be, and who knows?

If I don’t have too much to drink, perhaps Schmoop will put on a halftime show for me that will rock my world.

Oh yeahhhhhhhh…

If I play my cards right this Super Bowl Sunday, Matt-Man is going to end up going to “Disneyworld!!”

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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Making Friends and Getting Feedback on Social Media

Holaaaaaaaaaaa! Well, I’m back to regular internet activities and it hasn’t taken long for things to get wild and crazy!

I will start by updating folks on my continuing experimentwith Facebook groups. I continue to join different “Let’s Be Friends” and “Add Me” groups and continue to have pretty much the same experience as I had before. I have added several new “friends” though, so that’s cool. There hasn’t been a lot of interaction with any of them, but a couple of them and I have exchanged “likes” on posts and even a couple of “pokes.” So, that’s progress, I guess.

There was one pretty funny situation in one of the groups. A lot of really hot chicks post in these groups because they want to build up thousands of “friends” and “followers” so they can then sell the account to some spammers. It’s always funny to watch lonely middle-aged men fall for this tactic. Well, one woman got tired of her man trying to get with the young babes in these groups and decided to post a warning …

She didn’t know why I found that funny. I told her I hope she could keep her man under control. She basically replied that it isn’t easy cause the women can’t resist him.

There was one other interaction with a lovely lady, or at least someone who set up an account claiming to be a very lovely lady and using someone’s pics. You can never really know, right? Anyway, she sent me a friend request and I accepted. We then had this exchange in chat …

Her: Thanks for accepting.
Me: You’re welcome! Thanks for adding me.
Her: No problem. What are you up to?
Me: Nothing much, just woke up.
Her: Oh really? Do you like to play in the mornings?
Me: Play?
Her: Yes, with me?
Me: Oh no, I gave up Facebook games. They’re a time suck.
Her: Well I was talking about sucking, but not Facebook games.
Me: Uh, okay. I think.
Her: Never mind!

And that’s when she defriended me.  

I had mixed results in another dark corner of the internet this week too. I posted a link to my review of the beautiful and vibrant cityof Omaha, Nebraska over on the r/Omaha board on Reddit. I was hoping that the good folks of Omaha would appreciate my glowing review of their wonderful city and see that I love it as much as they do. Hell, part of me hoped that they might even make me an honorary citizen.

For the most part, they did seem pretty supportive. They appreciated my description of the northern parts of the city and a couple even chuckled, possibly even guffawed, at my description of Omaha drivers. As of the writing of this post, I currently have 41 upvotes and only 14 downvotes. That’s a 75% approval rating and you really can’t ask for much more than that.

Unfortunately, a couple of folks weren’t as enthralled with me and my review as the rest and they chose to let me know about it. Here is a sampling of the negative comments…

- “What a hilariously stupid pile of shit”

- “Whodafuq is this tool and has he ever been to Omaha?”

- “I hardly think Warren Buffett is a cheap skate. Also, the writing of this kept flip-flopping between tedious and too cutesy.”

- “Nice piece on Omaha, but c'mon man...No mention of Marlin Perkins!!?” ßWhat an asshole, amirite?

Okay, so some of those comments hurt just a little. Maybe even a lot. But, just like with the Facebook groups I’m not gonna focus on the mean, hate-filled trolls of the world. I’m gonna focus on the positive people who enjoyed my post and find me pleasant and funny and probably want to be my friend.  

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Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You

Cheeeeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and a Happy Tuesday to you all.

Do you realize what day it is?  It’s exactly three weeks and one day prior to Christmas, and I always observe December 3rd as my…

What Do I Want for Christmas Day!!

Why do I observe such a day three weeks and one day prior to Christmas, you ask?

Well…

Three weeks may be plenty for a normal person to decide what they want for Christmas, but as I am one who procrastinates, that extra day provides me with a much needed buffer between Christmas joy and being left with an empty feeling when I receive nothing but leftover love from my son on Christmas, as Jay and I discussed on Sunday’s, IWS Radio broadcast.

Anyhoo…

If I really were to want something for Christmas, I would want a Grade A microphone/headset combination.  I mean, the one I have is okay, but it sounds “tinny” no matter what adjustments I make to it.  I have a whiny voice to begin with and the tinny sounding microphone doesn't help to improve my voice nor my rep.

New speakers for my computer would be nice as well.  The speakers that I currently have, are getting a little tired.  I think that perhaps, too many Stubby Stonehenge replays through their tiny tweeters and woofers have distorted their sound.  Yeah, new speakers would be nice.

There’s one last thing I would like…okay two actually.

A block of Velveeta “cheese”, and a Cassano’s pizza or sub.

I know…boring, right?

Perhaps to some of the younger hipsters, but I have discovered something as I type this two months shy of my 49th birthday.  As I get older, Christmas means something much different than it did when I was a kid or even ten years ago.

I’m not talking about having a liturgical type of religious experience or anything, but Christmas has become, in a way, a time of year and day, that as my age rears its ugly head, a time that I also recognize all of the old friendships that grace my life.

The first time that Christmas made me feel old was about ten years ago.  My mom called me and asked what I would like for Christmas.  I didn't ask for a cool and hip toy, game, or latest what have ya like I did when I was a kid.  Noooooooo…I said to Mom…

“I could really use some new socks, or maybe a new white dress shirt, or a tie.”

IKR?  That’s pretty sexy.  Nearly as sexy as wanting a block of Velveeta or a Cassano’s pizza, but here’s the thing.

As I get older, if someone asks me what I would like for Christmas, it is always something I need, because as for me, the excitement of Christmas has become not the gift, but the rekindling and reconnecting with people that I like and I love.

My favorite part of Christmas is going to my brother’s house on Christmas Eve and partying with my family, all the while exchanging gift cards that we would probably buy ourselves for ourselves, and then…

Spending Christmas Day with Schmoop as we play music, eat way too much, drink way too much, and laugh way too much (if that’s possible) all damn day.

I don’t believe that Christmas as observed is the actual day of the birth of Jesus, and I do believe that if Christ were alive today, he would be appalled by its celebration, but I do think one thing.

Be it a hoax, a religious event, a secularist party, or just another day on the calendar, Christmas is an excellent time and/or excuse to reconnect with, and drunk dial those you love.

And if that’s all Christmas truly is, I like that…a lot.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_IWS
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Facebook Confirms What We All Knew...Matt-Man Rocks!!

Greetings…Cheers…and a Happy Hump Day to You All!!

Matt-Man here for IWS Radio today and recently, my spirits have been lifted exponentially; I am awash in a sea of validation as a human being, and my typically almost non-existent ego is expanding as quickly as the universe.

Let me tell you, folks…

Yesterday, Jayman wrote a great post about a handful of prominent scumbags and assholes who exist in American society today, but you know who isn’t an asshole, and who in fact, is one well-liked son of a bitch?

This Guy!!

I know…You are saying to yourselves…

“Gee, how do you know this?  Did you have a poll conducted by the polling agency called, Me, Myself, and I?”

Not at all…I used a polling firm far more accurate than Gallup.  Far more in-depth than IPSOS.  And totally more hard to spell than Quinnipiac.

I used Facebook.  That’s right!!

You see, this past Sunday, I posted on my Facebook page…

“What, if anything, do you like about me?”

After posting that question on my timeline, and awaiting the comments, I sat glued to my screen expecting few comments , or a handful of comments full of scorn and ridicule, however…

I received comments such as the following…

“I like the way you smoke multiple cigarettes at the same time.”

“You have no bias…you insult all equally.”

“You crack me up and cook a lot.”  Which corroborates the following comment…

“You amuse me.  I also admire your mad culinary skills.  You really know your way around a can of Spam.”

See how my uber-likeability is trending?  People dig me!!

From a well-read and published author of the male sex…“Your calves, when you wear high heels…”

Our very own IWS resident Lemon Poppy Seed maker Missalicious, chimed in with…

“You’re a good egg.”

And by that, I am sure that Miss means that I am full of protein and can be either a main course, or an elegantly pretty egg wash sheen atop a bundle of muffins.  Which makes perfect sense, because the uber-sultry Carly said of me…

“You are shiny.”

Word.  And thank you.

There were many other comments that said among other nice things, that I was very likeable because, “what you see, is what you get.”

Really…I do like that, and I appreciate those comments the most, because for bad or good, I like to keep it that way.

I will say…There was one comment that disturbed me…A long time friend, who happens to be a nurse, responded to my question of, what do you like about me, by saying…

“Not a damn thing.”

It’s hurtful to know that the poison of Obamacare has sunk down to the bedside caretaker level, and washed away all humanity and compassion.  But, I will recover…You know why?

People on Facebook, and mainly chicks on Facebook, dig me!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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Feeling Thankful and Blessed

Holaaaaaaaaaa! So, it’s been a long two weeks here in Redneckville. First, my Nana Creta passed away which meant lots of time spent in situations where there was potential for me to say or do something stupid. Luckily, I made it through all that unscathed though. Then, as a result of being outside so much over those days and the ups and downs of the weather, I caught a cold. It’s been nothing but hacking, coughing, sneezing and snotting for like 5 days now and I’ve just about had enough of it.

Well, it’s not all doom and gloom. I got lots and lots of love and support when Nana Creta died last week and lots of get well wishes the last couple of days. That includes some “sexy healing vibes” from an ungodly sexy and wonderful babe. All of that has made me feel much better and given me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over.

And, on top of all that our “Games People Play” episode of IWS Radio has had a blowout week! Not only did we hit #1 early in the week in the Comedy category, we have now climbed all the way to #5 in the main Entertainment category! For some reason BTR decided to make Comedy a sub-category of Entertainment, but we have overcome this outrageous slight and persevered like the hardworking, grind-it-out, never-say-never guys we are.

So, you know what would be awesome? If everyone listened to “Games People Play” ONE MORE TIME! Hell yeah!

We love and appreciate each and every one of you guys out there and are so grateful for your support!

Discover Comedy Internet Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

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