IWS Person of the Week...Iggy Azalea

Summer is here and the livin' is hot, free, and easy just like Jay, Matt, and the entire IWS Radio team.  So, in order to kick off the beginning of June and hot summertime fun who better to be the IWS Radio Person of the Week than the hot blonde rapper from the Land Down Under, Iggy Azalea!!

Iggy Azalea screams SUMMER with hair bigger and hotter than the crucible of western Australia...

Of course to go long with all of her platinum hair, Iggy gots plenty of "outback" too...

But her body doesn't stop there...She has the thigh power to hold up all of that hair and booty...

Our IWS Person of the Week stands head and shoulders above her recent duet partner Ariana Grande...

So here's to Iggy Azalea, our IWS Person of the Week!!

And for more summertime fun, be sure to join Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players as they broadcast LIVE today from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Jay and Matt will be broadcasting some homespun fun from their private getaway on Kitchi Lake in Minnesota known as Hodgepodge Lodge.  So kick back, relax and join us LIVE today as IWS presents a Little Homespun Fun From Hodgepodge Lodge.

CLICK HERE and join the frivolity!!

Clothing Optional Fun and Games with Matt and Jay

Matt chits, Jay chats, You listen skeptically.

Jay: Yo
Matt: Well hiya!
Jay: Hey guess what?
Matt: What??
Jay: I just checked the Comedy rankings and …
Matt: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand?
Jay: We’re numberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Matt: I can’t take it! Tell me!
Jay: TWOOOOOOOOOOO!
Matt: What the fuck?
Jay: I know right?
Matt: We’re behind that same guy?
Jay: Yup. He must have a HUGE audience.
Matt: I guess so.
Jay: Unless he’s gaming the system or something.
Matt: Impossible!
Jay: Can you jack your numbers up with HGH?
Matt: If you can we already would have. I mean would have HEARD HOW.
Jay: Exactly, but being number two is … I don’t know.
Matt: It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Jay: Like a hooker who just blew a guy who ate pineapples
Matt: Hahahahahaha … wut?

Jay: Remember when people were happy to slander Maya Angelou
Matt: Right up to the moment she died and suddenly she has no detractors.
Jay: What’s up with that!
Matt: I don’t know, but I’m not gonna put up with much longer.
Jay: It’s all pretty unseemly.
Matt: People are such frauds and Maya was a hack!
Jay: Most of the tributes posted on FB were by people who never read her works.
Matt: Totally. It was just “look at me! I’m a huge fan and so cultured!”
Jay: Worst of all it overshadowed the new Ariana Grande/Iggy Azalea song release.
Matt: Another outrage! Who are they?

Jay: We will have to get into this Maya Angelou thing Sunday.
Matt: Among other things!
Jay: It’s been a pretty busy week.
Matt: We can’t really focus on one thing.
Jay: There’s more on Donald Sterling.
Matt: And the Eliot Rodger shootings.
Jay: And his manifesto.
Matt: And this Jenny Johnson chick.
Jay: Is she a racist or just doing comedy?
Matt: A complicated subject.
Jay: One that only trained professionals should discuss.
Matt: Oh shit. There’s also this #YesAllWomen thing.
Jay: Hashtag activism at its most confusing.
Matt: We’ll have to analyze that thoroughly.
Jay: As only we can!
Matt: Aaaaaaaaaaaand it’s time Jay.
Jay: Everything is ready? Renovations are complete?
Matt: Definitely. Let’s tell everyone about our new retreat.
Jay: The Hodgepodge Lodge.
Matt: It’s an immaculate and soothing escape for the IWS family.
Jay: So much to do there!
Matt: Everyone is going to love.
Jay: There’s tons more to talk about too.
Matt: And lots of stories to tell.
Jay: I think we’re ready!
Matt: Hell yeah!

So, be sure to tune into “Homespun Fun at Hodgepodge Lodge” on IWS Radio Sunday at 12 Noon ET!! 

Maya Angelou and Sarah Palin? Hacks!!

Cheeeeeeeers and a Happy Friday to you all.

There is something that I cannot tolerate and that is, blissful accolades laid upon a recently departed person or one who is still living.

On Wednesday, it was revealed that Maya Angelou was taken away from us far too soon at the age of eighty-six.

I feel badly with the passing of anyone, but let me tell you…

As I heard of her passing, and watched the news crawlers refer to her as the “late, great, Maya Angelou” and as a “renown poet“, I was stupefied.

Marguerite Annie Johnson, yeah that’s her real name, was many things, but, she was not a poet.  Okay, yes she was because some idiotic publisher rode her “real black woman cash cow” to fame as a poet, but really?

As a poet, she sucked.

Yeah, I know she knows why the caged bird sings (allegedly), and she had her civil rights struggles (poor her), and she spent part of her life being a dance floor floozie (true dat), however…

After all of that, one Miss Margaret Johnson writes…

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Such a whore…And she wonders why the caged bird sings.  That patch of awful writing promises nothing but Barry White songs so she can do her porno dances while she spits “diamonds” out from between her thighs.

Uuuuuuch.  I have no time nor place for such ickiness.  Please go to bad poet heaven, Mizz Angelou…if that’s you real name…which we know it isn’t.

And dig it…There is a draft Sarah Palin campaign going on, on Facebook.  I don’t know if it is for U.S. Senate or President in 2016, but either way, I am sure that the people who started it and like it, aren’t very bright.

Now don’t get me wrong, I liked it myself for comedic purposes, but wow…can you really see Palin as a U.S. Senator?  Well, wait a minute…Yes I can, and no different from the rest.

What the hell was I thinking?  Oh before I go, there’s another hack that I’d like to talk about…

Edward Snowden.

You love America so much that you wanted to let her people know that they were being watched on the internet.  That’s admirable and thanks, however…

Once you let the cat out of the bag, you ran away to one of the more oppressive governments on earth. You don’t love freedom Mr. Snowden, you love your own definition of freedom, and you are a coward.

This is the Matt-Man saying, Edward Snowden is to freedom, what Maya Angelou is to poetry…Not Much.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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We're Setting Kids Up for Failure and They Deserve It

Holaaaaaaaaaaaaa! So, the other day I’m hanging out with the Jaymom when this happens…

Jaymom: M.E. is gotta go to Little Rock cause for her granddaughter’s graduation.
Jay: She’s graduating? Already?
Jaymom: And going to Central next year and will be a cheerleader.
Jay: That’s great, I guess.
Jaymom: And they’re coming up here for the 4^th of July and the granddaughter doesn’t want to. So M.E. told them “maybe she could stay with a friend” and M.E’s son said “NO! The family is going to spend the 4^thtogether and that means she will be with the family!”

Jay: Well okay then. I’m sure she’ll be so pleasant to be around.
Jaymom: I told M.E. she just has to hang on for two more years and she’ll be 18 and he can’t control her anymore.
Jay: True. Wait … You said she graduated and was going to Univ. of Central Arkansas next year.
Jaymom: What? Oh no! She graduated junior high and is going to Central High in Little Rock next year.

Jay: Oh for crying out loud! No … No … No … You only graduate TWICE! When you graduate high school and when you graduate college. That’s it! That’s the graduation list! You don’t graduate from pre-school and kindergarten and grade school and middle school and junior high school. Just high school and college. Sure, you can get advanced degrees and shit, but that’s all a bonus and doesn’t hold the same significance.

This is part of what’s wrong with kids today you know? They finish high school and they already have a wall full of diplomas and they think they’ve accomplished so damn much when in fact they haven’t accomplished a damn thing. It’s not like getting a high school diploma is all that difficult to do. I mean, if you’re a really crappy student you get passed along under what they call “social promotion” so you are around people in your own age group and if you put out any effort whatsoever at all you finish with a good enough GPA to get into community college or most state schools.

That’s why they started all this Advanced Placement crap. That’s the group of kids who have rich parents, parents who are “prominent” members of the community, or parents who are on the school board or are just popular kids. This is where the real grade inflation takes place. They get extra credit for being in these AP classes so they can separate them from the poor kids and middle class kids. That’s why the top dozen graduates all have over a 4.00 gpa!

So then you have these kids who have never struggled, never had to deal with any adversity graduating high school and they think their lives are gonna be so cushy and easy. Especially kids from these rich families. Nobody has ever said “no” to them and it never crosses their mind that someone might actually say “no” to them someday. So, the first time things go badly for them they fall apart.

Girls run into adversity and they become bitter feminists or start developing terrible self-confidence issues and maybe even an eating disorder and that just makes things worse. Aaaaaaaand the first time a boy gets told “no” will be by a girl and he’ll be so enraged that he will start calling all women “whores” and “cunts” and other names and eventually he’ll grab a couple of semi-automatic guns and mow down the neighborhood or shoot up a movie theater!

ALL BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN CODDLED SINCE CHILDHOOD AND HAVE A WALL FULL OF FAKE ACCOMPLISHMENTS THAT GAVE THEM A HUGE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT AND DIDN’T PREPARE THEM FOR HOW THE REAL WORLD WORKS!

Jaymom: *blink* *blink* …. Do you feel better?
Jay: A little
Jaymom: Wanna get pizza and watch a movie on Netflix?
Jay: Sure!

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Elliot Rodger May Have a Manifesto, But I Have a Mattifesto!!

Y’know?  It’s seems like every dissed boy like Elliott Rodger and unhappy man gets to write a manifesto before he enacts his infinite justice upon people. And you know what?  If the serial killers, and mass murderers have that right, so do I.

So to wit and heretofore, or whatever, is my manifesto, or as I call it…My Mattifesto.

Mrs. Stephenson, my kindergarten teacher…

You treated your kids like crap, and even though eighty years old at the time with your red, bouffant hairstyle which didn't lend itself to great air circulation and a better and more effective swing, your smack on the ass always hurt.  Annnnnnnd, even though you have been dead for years…you suck.

To my eighth grade English teacher, Mrs. Corle…I am sorry that at fourteen years of age I knew more about the English language than you, but that was no reason to give me an A in my work and a three in my effort grade, which reads…“careless or incomplete effort.”

Sometimes…I think maybe, you were hurt that I didn’t want to have sex with you, but, whatever, and I regret it too, because your painted nails, and frosted wig were pretty hot to a fourteen year old boy.

Janice Gohm who I had as an instructor in British Lit 150 at Bowling Green…I am sorry I recited and made fun of Hemingway while sucking on your left tit, but c’mon…was that any reason to ditch me for a running back on the BGSU football team?  I didn't think so.

And to Beth Ann Perkins?  You nominated me for a scholarship in Philosophy…While I didn't get it, that hug we shared was worth more than a scholarship to me, so?  You’re safe, and I think of you often, and? You're free to go.

To Donna... Remember when I passed out, face down in your crotch?  I’m sorry that your vagina exuded the smell of Ny-Quil, but damn it, it made me sleepy and there is no reason to hate me for it.  It was but a physiological response, not a human response.

And in addition to the aforementioned women, some guys such as Joe Aker, Jim Stewart, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity and the like; you are going down.

Not by the gun and knife of some disturbed, and troubled privileged punk like Elliot Rodgers, but rather by the willingness to ignore you all, and forget about you.

Unlike the disturbed and hateful manifesto of Elliot Rodger, my manifesto is about going on, and going past, but you know what still troubles me?

I actually do hate my wife and remain disappointed in my son, and it bothers me, but unlike Elliot Rodgers, I wouldn't kill them.

My revenge would be for her to explain her reasons for keeping my son from me as she squirms, and hear his reasons for feeling the pressure to comply with her demands.

But perhaps Ryno, not being permitted, nor taking full advantage of me per orders of his Teutonic keeper, is a self-fulfilling revenge machine, and a tragic flaw initiated by his mom.

Either way…I’m not happy where this is concerned.  But…Whatever…I'm not gonna kill anyone over it.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
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Our Veterans Deserve a Better Country to Die For

Holaaaaaaaaaaa! It’s Memorial Day stream of consciousness style…

Hooo-Weee we sure do love America and our veterans. Well, on certain days we do anyway. We love the veterans on Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day and the Fourth of July and maybe on V-E Day if we think about it. Oh sure we proved how much we love veterans by sharing a cool Thank You Veterans pic on Facebook or RT’d someone’s salute to the veterans on Twitter. What more can we actually do, right? I have no doubt that we honor America’s Veterans all the time. We just especially do when we see the pic we need to share but we don’t share those pics or tweets because we really mean that shit. We share it because we need everyone to THINK we mean that shit. Same goes for when we're outraged by something someone did or said. 

The fact of the matter is we don’t really care. Don’t tell me you really do because you don’t. No one really does. The plight of wounded veterans makes for good stories on TV and is brilliantly used as a rallying cry for us but that’s all. Oh stop it! I know you’re outraged by the latest VA scandal which isn’t actually all that new. I’m sure you were outraged by it in 2007 when this shit actually started you just forgot you were outraged until you were told to be again the last couple of weeks. The reason I know you don’t care is because our elected officials don’t care and you guys are going to send almost all of them back to Washington in November. That’s right kids, the current congress which has the lowest approval rate in the history of this country will still enjoy a 98 or 99% reelection rate. Way to go outraged American who’s had enough!

You know it only took 15 minutes for congress to change the name of French Fries to Freedom Fries, but it took 15 MONTHS to pass Sen. Jim Webb’s new GI Bill. That bill was finally passed and signed just about when the scandal at Walter Reed Hospital broke. A scandal which continues to this day. But it depends on which political party you support as to how you look at that. If you’re a democrat Walter Reed was a perfect example of how the republicans talk big but don't actually give a shit about our veterans. If you’re a republican the fact that this continues to this day is proof that Obama and the democrats loathe the military and hate our veterans and America and are rooting for our enemies.

So we point fingers at each other and claim the other side is solely to blame for the dismal state of affairs at the VA rather than actually demanding that something be done about it. Because doing “something” might actually take effort and money and nobody is willing to do that. Instead we make a big show about how much we love our veterans and what great Americans we are and how outraged we are! But, whatever you guys in Washington do don’t make this painful or expensive to fix! Just fire a couple of people hold a few hearings and issue a SCATHING REPORT that will have enough red meat for both political parties to chew on a spit out at the other side.

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Memorial Day 2014...Click To Listen

Happy Memorial Day and dig it…

You all are in for a treat because not only do you see the beautiful pic of our incredibly to die for friend Tiff, our IWS Radio Memorial Day Babe of the Day to the right, but yesterday?

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team put on one helluva radio show, and you can catch it all right HERE.

No shit!?  It’s like…as we were dong it…it was recorded on Blog Talk Radio or something.  It’s fancy!!

IWS Radio celebrated Memorial Day without using this solemn day without turning it into our own marketing bitch for mattresses, liquor sales, or FOX News.

Jay, Matt, Joshua, Tammy Tibbles, and others, talked about how great America is, and how we mourn those who have passed on in order to secure our right to do an internationally famous internet radio show.

Now there was a bit of a hiccup on the show as an unscheduled guest chimed in.

The adorable TamiJ chimed in, and pontificated on Obama Care, Oregon politics, and read us her resume as well.

She quickly dispatched herself from the conversation once she listened to Slyder Balzcock read In Flanders Fields, making a mockery of the fallen soldiers that have…fallen before us.  So atypical of a self-proclaimed right-wing, God fearing, gun toting, Conservative.

Very sad, but worth a listen. Actually, Tami is very animated, cute, and entertaining, but we need to keep her in check.  She talks too much, too quickly, and unless she can prove otherwise in the future, wrong on every issue.

But all in all, yesterday’s IWS Radio Show was awesome.  The boys talked about the heroes gone by, and the burgers yet to be grilled.

It was the perfect blend of Memorial Day chicanery to the revelers, and Memorial Day honor to those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for this great country of ours.

So…

Today, while you are honoring the dead, and cooking up burgers and brats, listen to IWS Radio…

To listen, and spend part of your Memorial Day with us, click right HERE, or watch below...

Kim and Kanye are our Person(s) of the Week!

Everyone here at IWS World Media Entertainment wants to extend our congratulations to Kanye West and Kim Kardashian who our sources tell us actually got married yesterday! Late Saturday our roving reporter at large Guy Ahnurdyck and Hollywood Reporter Joshuaaaaaaaaaaaaaa were able to independently confirm that America’s Sweethearts DID exchange nuptials in Italy!

Kim and Kanye have a special kind of love…

We know they will set an example for the rest of us for how to make a marriage work …

So, once again, congrats to Kim and Kanye on your marriage and just remember we are so incredibly proud of you!

Speaking of greatness, be sure to tune into “Grillin’ andChillin’ with Controversial Ingredients” on IWS Radio Sunday at 12 Noon ET as we celebrate those men and women of the armed forces who gave their lives for America and give advice on cooking out and partying! See ya there!

IWS Radio: Grillin' and Chillin' in Flanders Fields

Saturdays here on the IWS Radio website, typically involve a transcript of the intense show prep session in which Jay and Matt engage on Thursday mornings, but this Saturday..?

We here at IWS Radio know that this weekend being the official unofficial kick-off to summer, a time to reflect soberly upon the passing of those who gave all for this country, and a time to fire up the grill, get drunk and beat your spouse, perhaps you haven’t the time nor focus to read our provocative show prep transcript so…

Allow us to get straight to the point.

LIVE this Sunday May 25th from Noon-2 PM ET, the funniest, smartest, and most inclusive comedy show on Blog Talk Radio will be celebrating the somber and reflective Memorial Day Weekend as most Americans do…by Grillin’ and Chillin’ with Controversial Ingredients.

That’s right.

Jay, Matt, Bobby Kraft, Slyder Balzcock, Joshua, and Stubby Stonehenge will be on hand to set just the right tempo, tone, and timbre within the graveyards of our fallen, and the backyards of our barbecues, and get you into the Memorial Day mood.

Tammy Tibbles will bring some soul crushing happiness for all, Buddy Acapella will bring down the house with a moving rendition of Taps, and Canada’s own Jamie Mapleleaf will undoubtedly be lurking about providing north of the border hotness.

Jayman will be introducing the newest member of the IWS Radio team, as KleeShay Johnson makes his debut on the show.

The Jayman will speak out about his harrowing trip to Wal*Mart as well, as Matt-Man may wonder aloud about how he came to be BFFs with an uber-patriotic right wing hottie who often appears on FOX News.

IWS Radio will also talk about food.  Brat versus Sausage versus Burger versus fish on the grill. Really? Fish on the grill?

And what kind of person are you?  Gas Grill or Charcoal?

These are important matters, and IWS Radio will cover them all for you…and folks…We have the pleasure of having Giada de Laurentiis and her husband Todd stopping by with her their thoughts on what constitutes the perfect cook-out.

All of this somber yet hilarious action, plus your phone calls LIVE this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET on IWS Radio.

To listen LIVE and prove yourself to be a true God-Fearing, God-Loving American, you click right HERE!!

Binge Watching Pros and Cons

Holaaaaa y’all! As you may or may not know I have been binge watching Dexter on Netflix over the last few weeks. As the show comes to a close I’ve been thinking about this whole binge watching thing and trying to decide if it’s better than the traditional style of watching one episode of a week. There are a number of pros and cons of binge watching …

Pro: You don’t have to sit and wait for the next episode to come along next week. If it’s a network show you also don’t have to deal with the network suddenly deciding to show a rerun one week before returning to the current season. This is great for impatient people like me who want to get on with the show and see how it all ends. Bonus: No cliffhangers! Just go onto the next show immediately!

Con: You don’t take time to really think about the show or analyze what just happened. You just immediately click “next episode” and plow through them without seeing some of the more subtle things going on during the show.

Pro: Binge watching allows you to remember some nuggets of information that are dropped early on but not revisited until later in the season. Sometimes shows like to drop little hints about different characters or situations, but you forget about the little things if you have to wait eight to twelve weeks to revisit them.

Con: You don’t really have time to identify with anyone other than the main characters. If you binge watch a show like Dexter you might finish all eight seasons and then say “Damn, they didn’t really do much with that Quinn guy” without realizing that actually did. You were just too busy rolling your eyes at the TV saying “Get back to Dexter and this dude he’s gonna kill!”

Pro: On the other hand, if there are characters or parts of the storyline that you don’t care for, you don’t feel you’ve wasted your time watching one episode. You just go on to the next. Shows often times have “filler” episodes where nothing is really done to advance the main plot of the season other than some tidying up and maybe fixing something that was going in a bad direction.

Con: TV loses its social element. Unless you’re watching the show at the same time and at the same pace with friends, family or coworkers you don’t get to stop and talk about the show. You don’t get other people’s perspectives on what has happened. You don’t get to speculate on what might happen down the road or predict how it all ends with others either. Even if you’re watching the show with someone else, by watching several episodes a day and getting through whole seasons in a week you don’t actually talk about the show in depth.

Pro: You’re more likely to finish the series. I really thought Dexter went off the rails late in season five and continued to do so in season six and seven. But, I had already invested so much time and energy in it that I was going to see it through. If I had to wait forty weeks after season six for the next season to start, I very well might have forgotten about the show or found something better to do.

Cons: You pick up on all the little things that can make a show annoying much more easily. You see them repeating storylines more easily. You see all the clichés and tropes that are used by bad writers to fill space. This starts to really get on your nerves and you might focus on those things (or certain characters you can’t stand) more than on the show itself.

Pro: You finally get to find out what the hoopla was about surrounding a certain show and will know what people are talking about when they reference it.

Con: You might find that it just wasn’t worth it.

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Memorial Day 2014...Let's Party Somberly

This weekend in Bagwine, Ohio as well as throughout this great nation of ours…

Memorial Day Weekend will be giving birth to the long awaited season of warm sunny days, starlit nights, and profound reverence for America.

The sidewalks of Main Street USA will be lined with Chinese-made American flags, bemused children, hung-over parents, and patriotic lookers on-ers, as America celebrates her fallen soldiers, sailors, and Marines with dignity and honor in the form of out of tune H.S. marching bands, glad handing political hacks, and old men in fezzes driving clown cars, because…

Nothing says, “here’s to those who gave all on the beaches of Normandy”, quite like old, mothball smelling men wearing Devo hats, while driving shiny, happy Go-Karts!!  And then…

After Taps has been played and the “Amens” have all been said...

Mom will be off to the Memorial Day Sale at Macy‘s, and Dad will educate his son in the art of the deal, as he attempts to strike a good price on a new car by negotiating with a guy on stilts dressed as Uncle Sam at the local Buick dealership.

After that...The somber events of the mourning and reflection, must of course be balanced with a little fun.

Private and public swimming pools everywhere will be littered with splashing children and older pedophile types as the chlorine and pool filter systems work overtime in order to keep the urine and E. coli within acceptable levels.

As the day turns into early evening, a rebel family in Kansas will be having a blast playing with the last known set of "dangerous" illegal JARTS, while elsewhere in suburban America...

The beers will be popped open, the grills fired up, and kids will play croquet wearing chest protectors and bike helmets.

As the sun wanes, and the adults are left to their own devices…

A guy named Hank will pork his new neighbor Leon’s comely wife Ashanti, as Leon lies face down, passed out on a grill of hot coals, as he drank too much while grilling steaks in order to impress his new white friends in a neighborhood that was once “off limits” to “his kind”.

As dusk turns to night, the memories of the fallen laid to rest, and the DUI Checkpoints closed down, America will sleep well knowing that it is fucking amazing that we have somehow managed to last this long as a nation.

But then again…You know what the most amazingly patriotic thing to do for Memorial Day Weekend would be?

Listen to Jay, me, and the IWS Radio Players LIVE this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as IWS Radio presents, Grillin’ and Chillin’ With Controversial Ingredients.

In addition to honoring our fallen soldiers, we will somberly and soberly be talking about beer, summertime fun, and the most important thing about Memorial Day…cooking-out, and what are the best things to grill and chill with.

So there you have it America.  Honor the fallen and listen to IWS Radio this weekend, because if you do not?

You hate America, hate Macy’s, and hate the American automobile industry.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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A Message to Recent Graduates

Holaaaaaaaa! I thought maybe I should take some time out of my busy schedule and give some advice to the recent graduates.  And, since I'm no P. Diddy and I wasn't given an honorary doctorate or invited to speak at any graduation ceremonies, I guess I will have to do it here.

To the high school graduates...

- Most of you have now turned 18. Except for the football players who were held back when they were six so they could win a Pee-Wee Football Championship, who are now 19.  This means that you can now buy cigarettes and porn.  Congratulations!  That's pretty much the only significant thing you have going on right now.

- Well except for you 18 year old boys with 17 year old girlfriends.  You can now be prosecuted for SEX CRIMES and be branded a Sexual Offender for the rest of your life by a holier-than-thou District Attorney and local judge.  Both of whom are too busy running for higher office to be concerned with the fair and equal administration of justice.  So, good luck with that.

- Most you will be going on to college next year.  Of those who do, only about half will graduate.

- Those that don't go on to college will be competing for the same few jobs that are available against both the college drop outs and recent graduates.  Hope that works out okay for ya.

- And for the girls who have already had a kid?  Umm .. I dunno.  I guess you can start a Mommy Blog and pretend that you invented motherhood and act as if no other kid has ever done all the cute little things that your kid does every day. 

Ok so here's my real advice to you recent high school and/or college grads…


- Don't pass up opportunities because you think they'll always be there. They won't.

- Do NOT feel pressured to conform to societal "norms."  You don't HAVE to go to college.  You don't HAVE to get married by a certain age.  You don't HAVE to have kids.  You don't HAVE to live your life according to other people's expectations and wants. And NEVER do something like having kids to make others happy.

- Start your retirement planning the minute you join the workforce. Start an IRA or 401K as soon as possible and NEVER let up on it.

- Live below your means.   Don't buy the maximum amount of house that you can afford. Go a little lower than that and save the rest.  Same goes for "toys" like cars, boats and "stuff."

- Be humble.  It's amazing how far showing manners and respect towards others will get you in life.

- Seek diversity in your life.  Seek out people from different backgrounds and different cultures.

- "Think Globally, Act Locally."  Okay, it's a cliché, but it's true.  That $10 you gave to the relief effort in Haiti was nice and it made you feel good.  But, spending a few weekends a year helping to build Habitat for Humanity homes in your town will have 10 times the impact that your $10 to Haiti did.  In your local area there are food pantries, homeless shelters, abused women & children shelters, youth centers, senior centers and many other places and organizations that need your help.

- Be kind to animals, children and elderly people.

- Read and travel.  They both expand the mind and expose you to new ideas, people and places.

- Don't follow one political party or ideology 100% of the time.  Political parties exist to get people elected. They don’t give a shit about the people they supposedly serve.

- Don't be afraid of change and advancements in technology.  Instead use them to expand opportunities for both work and fun.

- Don’t be judgmental of others.  Everyone is just trying to get through life and live their lives to the fullest.  So maybe some people don’t live their life the way you do.  Not your problem.  Live and let live people.

- Take care of the environment.  Don’t throw trash on the side of the road or in the waterways and crap like that.

- Enjoy life.  Take advantage of all the fun it has to offer.  Watch great movies.  Attend great sporting events.  Take in scenic views.  Sit back and laugh with friends and family rather than rushing through and missing out on the fun stuff.  

Okay, so that’s my brilliant advice.  Follow it.  Don’t follow it.  Whatever.  It’s your life after all.

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What The Hell Is Wrong With You People!?

Cheers, and a Happy Cambodian Day of Remembrance to you all.  I hope your respectful introspections and reflections go well today.

Y’know folks… In day to day life, I am pretty much a go along, get along kinda guy as far as where other people are concerned.

Everyone has their own foibles, flaws, and quirks.  To which, when I see them on parade, while I may chuckle, I typically just say to myself, “Ha, whatever.”

However…

When those foibles, flaws, and quirks seem to have just taken a dose of stupid steroids, I have to ask to myself and out loud…

What the HELL is wrong with YOU!!?

For instance, yesterday morning I learned that, twenty-two year old Danielle Shea had been arrested for calling in two bomb threats just prior to the Quinnipiac University’s 2014 graduation ceremony.  It seems that Ms. Shea had been living a bit of a lie.

She hadn’t attended QU since 2012 but her parents thought she had been, and expected her to be graduating this spring.  So my oh my, when the family shows up and sees Danielle in her cap and gown, but not her name on the list of graduates, the not so college graduate panics and calls in a bomb threat in order to get the ceremony cancelled.

Ms. Shea?  Danielle?  May I call you Danielle?  You had eighteen months to plan for this day.  In that time, couldn’t you have just told mom and dad that you had dropped out, or at least had an extremely well done forgery of a QU diploma made, and told them that you were skipping the ceremony?

Nooooooooooo…You had to dress the part, realize too late that you were a dumb ass, and then call in a couple of bomb threats.  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Middletown, Ohio has a new group looking out for your interests and have been handing out fliers promoting their good cause.  It seems that after an arson of a white homeowners house in that city, a new group called, The White Guard is looking out for you white guys and gals in Middletown, OH.

This group states…“Are you a white person who feels unsafe in your own home or on the streets of your city due to the behavior of local black savages who prey on and terrorize whites?” (WHIO-TV Video Link)

Seriously?  In all likelihood it was a couple of stupid teens, be they black, white, or chartreuse who perpetrated the arson.  But, I guess you can use this tragic event as a rallying cry for your hate as you did.
To which I ask of course…WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

And even closer to home and on a more personal level…One of our Beer Mine customers the other day came to purchase some wonderful Beer Mine products.  After his order had been rung up his debit card was run to pay for it.  The card was declined. When hearing this, said customer replied…

“Damn, that’s what they told me at the Speedway up the street ten minutes ago.  All the credit card machines must be messed up today.”

Oh…Dear…God…What…The…Hell…Is…Wrong…With…You!?

As I said folks, I try to go along and get along, but damn.  Sometimes even for a man of my patience and understanding, I sometimes crack.  And well?

It makes my brain hurt.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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Sunshine Pumping on IWS

Sometimes all the negativity and anger and hating gets to be too much even for Matt and Jay. So, this week on IWS Radio we set all that aside and went strictly positive. That’s right, no cheap shots. No mocking of famous people. No ranting. Just love and support for everyone.

- Jay talked about his new Crock Pot and how awesome it is.

- Matt introduced our newest correspondent Lance Cranston.

- Ma Tibble inspired us.

- Tammy Tibbles inspired us even more!

- Martin led us through a great meditation

- Paul Piatt recited a poem full of great advice on happiness

- Rev Moneymaker reminded us that faith in the Almighty leads to happiness

- Jamie Canada called in and hung out with us

- Matt talked about what makes him happy

- Jay talked about what makes him happy

- Joshua reviewed one of the happiest movies ever: The Princess Bride

- Matt and Jay were devastated to find that a certain someone doesn’t like The Princess Bride

- Lots and lots of witty banter about being positive and overcoming negative people in life

- Matt and Jay apologies to some of the people they have been negative towards in the past

- And sooooooooo much more! Definitely check this one out! 

                 
                                 

                                                                             Listen To Comedy Internet Radio                                                                                Stations with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

IWS Person of the Week...Clowns!!

When one is feeling a little down or perhaps had a bad day, and needs a bit of happiness in their life, who better to cheer said sad person up, than a clown?

Clowns have been spreading the joy unto others for centuries, and that is why clowns are our IWS Person(s) of the Week!!

Here is a group of clowns just begging to put your joy ahead of themselves and make you happy...

Some clowns strike fear into the hearts of others, but really?  They just want to love and be loved...

Some clowns are just so out there that you don't know what to think, but you find them hilarious...

Once in awhile, a clown will lose his funny bone and just can't figure out his job as a clown...

When something like that happens to a clown, many other clowns feel sorry for the lost clown...

Clowns are varied and many, in fact...Some clowns are actually outraged and require no make-up at all...

But of course...The best clown of all is the clown that makes us smile, and looks hot at the same time...

Here's to the clowns; may they make us happy for centuries to come!!  And speaking of clowns...

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players take to the internet airwaves yet again, as they broadcast LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Just like clowns IWS Radio is all about spreading love, being happy, and celebrating the good people in this world during the IWS Radio Down with Love, Up with People episode.

Join IWS Radio LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET by clicking HERE, and share the love and happiness with us!!

MSJS: Feel the Love

Matt: Heloooooooooooooo!!!!!!
Jay: HOW-DEEEEEEE!!!
Matt: It’s so good to hear from you!
Jay: I look forward to talking to you all week!
Matt: This is always such a pleasant experience.
Jay: That’s because you make it so!
Matt: That’s so nice of you to say, but you are such an affable chap.
Jay: Well, you are full of sunshine and rainbows yourself.
Matt: We do le the sun shine in, don’t we?
Jay: At all times!
Matt: You gotta be that way. Anything else is depressing.
Jay: Oh I know. I feel sorry for negative people.
Matt: How are they ever happy?
Jay: I have no idea.
Matt: It must be so awful being miserable all the time.
Jay: IKR? Those poor people
Matt: I wish there was something we could do to help.
Jay: Me too. We do our best to make them laugh already.
Matt: True.
Jay: And laughter really IS the best medicine.

Matt: Still, it does bother me so that there are sad people out there.
Jay: Life can get pretty hectic. Sometimes it’s too much for some people.
Matt: Dammit! It shouldn’t have to be this way though!
Jay: I think sometimes we just have to accept the world the way it is.
Matt: No me Jayman. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I think two guys can make a difference.
Jay: I used to think that, but now? Now I’m not so sure anymore.
Matt: Don’t give up Jay! Don’t EVER give up.
Jay: Sometimes Matt … I … I lose hope.
Matt: That doesn’t make you a bad person Jay.
Jay: I hate myself for it though.
Matt: You mustn’t get down on yourself.
Jay: Oh I know. It’s so easy to get caught in a downward spiral.
Matt: You have to break the cycle of negativity.
Jay: I know I do and I will. I promise I will!
Matt: I know you will. I believe in you!
Jay: Thank you. That’s all I really need.

Matt: You know what we should do?
Jay: What?
Matt: We should do a totally positive show!
Jay: Just nothing but positive and uplifting messages?
Matt: Yeah. A show full of love and acceptance!
Jay: Think of all the people we can help if we do that!
Matt: We could literally change people’s lives Jayman.
Jay: And what fills a man’s heart with joy more than that?
Matt: Nothing!
Jay: Exactly!
Matt: Well tell stories that positive and happy.
Jay: And uplifting! And gratifying!
Matt: I love gratifying!
Jay: We should always strive to be gratifying.
Matt: We do! It’s just that sometimes our message gets …
Jay: Lost.
Matt: Just like our spirit gets lost sometimes.
Jay: We will commit ourselves to not let that happening again!
Matt: Exactly! You, me and the WHOLE STAFF at IWS Radio.
Jay: IWS Radio should be and will be a force for good in the world.
Matt: A media empire with a conscience and a soul.
Jay: It is an admirable goal.
Matt: And one we can achieve if we believe in ourselves.
Jay: I’m ready. We. Can. Do. THIS!
Matt: And so we shall!
Jay: We begin immediately!

Be sure to tune into “Down with Love and Up with People” on IWS Radio at 12 Noon ET!! It will change your life for the better!  

Excuse Me; Could We Please Be Happy For A Second!?

Cheers!!  Greetings!!  And welcome to the IWS Radio website, and a happy Friday to you all.

This past week, Jay and I have been nothing but cynical, satirical, and sarcastic.

We have made fun of Ann Coulter, people with two first names, list makers, and Donald Sterling just to name a few…albeit Mr. Sterling has a last name that is not his actual last name, but it makes him happy, and we are all about the happy.

However, this week was a big downer, and not a very joyful week, so…

It’s time to shed the yoke of cynicism and sarcasm, have some fun, and delight in the joy that are the people who are good, and things that make me happy aside from Schmoop. Jayman, Jamie, my family, my IWS family, and what not…and by golly, I have a list.

Last night?  I had no clue as to what we should have for dinner, so?  I called up the Pizza King, Vic Cassano, and lo and behold, thirty minutes and $25.00 later, I had the best pizzas in the freaking world delivered to me.  I love Cassano’s Pizza.

And speaking of food, you know what else elicits a happy, happy joy, joy feeling into my digestive core being? SPAM.  Sure, people make fun of SPAM for being the non-meat, but let me tell ya, I LOVE it.  It is delicious, nutritious, and versatile.

Of course, when eating, one needs a beverage with which to wash all the deliciousness down, and what is my liquid of choice?  Steel Reserve.  The 211, Baby!!  I know, I know…that’s ghetto beer you say, but let me tell you…if hanging out with Malcolm in the projects at 2:15 PM and drinking a 211 is wrong?  I don’t want to be right.

I haven’t mentioned many people that I actually have love for, but here is a guy who is gold.  Nigel.

He lives with me, doesn't say much, and brought his own beer and smokes.  If someone shows up on your doorstep with those attributes, bring em’ on in.

As for other house guests?  I’m not a fan, however if I was to have one?  It would be Missalicious.

That chick has a whole lot of 5’3” hotness going on, and…She can always request to call me at 12:15 in AM demanding some venting time, and oh yeah, I listen.

Seriously though, just like all of the aforementioned things, I love the Miss and yeah, other than knowing her for 35 years, the reasons for my love for her are inexplicable, except for one…she makes me smile every time we talk.

And really?  That is all any of us needs.  Good food, good drink, and good people…Well…we all need one other thing, music...and that is where these guys come in.

Another group of people that I heart and always have is, The Cars.

Now that we have everything for a good time, I wish you a wonderful Friday, a wonderful weekend, and a wonderful life.  I hope to ‘see’ you on the radio Sunday as we continue this love fest, but until then…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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