Bert Convy Loves IWS Radio

Hi all…The late great Bert Convy here for IWS Radio…

When I was alive, I was an average guy who could do a lot of things in an average way.  I was an average game show host…an average singer, and an average actor if it was a part that contained whimsy and self-deprecation.

I was in a sense, a jack-of-all entertainment trades.  Nothing fancy, but as is typical with white guys, very workman-like.  I was all about nothing and at the same time all about everything.

And LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio, the IWS Radio Show will broadcast an episode that is very much like me…very…Convy-esque.

They will cover everything from terrorism to football, from bad music to bad weather, from the goings on up during their winter retreat at Hodgepodge Lodge to the unsuccessful unseating of the orange man himself, John Boehner.  In fact, their press release person summed up tomorrow’s show this way…

The holidays are over and the bitter polar air of January has its icy grip upon the country.  Hot topics come to a stall at this time of year, and it often seems as though there is nothing to talk about.

Well…nothing in particular to talk about, but plenty of things to talk about in general, and that is why Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team are meeting at Hodgepodge Lodge outside of Bemidji, MN. for a winter retreat.

IWS Radio is celebrating winter activities, the NFL Playoffs, the NCAA Football National Championship, and discussing the terrorist attack in Paris, as well as John Boehner’s orange skin, the flaccid Tea Party attempt to unseat him, and shocking headlines and anecdotes from Redneckville, AR. and Bagwine, OH.

Anything goes at Hodgepodge Lodge, and this week is no exception as laughter, bad music, and satirical shenanigans ensue as IWS Radio breaks the ice with biting wit and a warm smile for all.  So, join them and call-in at 661-244-9852.

I hope you all listen live and call-in tomorrow between Noon and 2 PM ET.  You’ll be doing yourself a favor and will realize that average and shallow coverage of many events done by professionals such as Jay and Matt can be nearly as sexy and uproariously funny as me.

With Love From Heaven,

Bert Convy

To listen LIVE to the IWS Radio Shenanigans ‘n’ Such From Hodgepodge Lodge show tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET click HERE.  

IWS Person of the Week...Clowns!!

When one is feeling a little down or perhaps had a bad day, and needs a bit of happiness in their life, who better to cheer said sad person up, than a clown?

Clowns have been spreading the joy unto others for centuries, and that is why clowns are our IWS Person(s) of the Week!!

Here is a group of clowns just begging to put your joy ahead of themselves and make you happy...

Some clowns strike fear into the hearts of others, but really?  They just want to love and be loved...

Some clowns are just so out there that you don't know what to think, but you find them hilarious...

Once in awhile, a clown will lose his funny bone and just can't figure out his job as a clown...

When something like that happens to a clown, many other clowns feel sorry for the lost clown...

Clowns are varied and many, in fact...Some clowns are actually outraged and require no make-up at all...

But of course...The best clown of all is the clown that makes us smile, and looks hot at the same time...

Here's to the clowns; may they make us happy for centuries to come!!  And speaking of clowns...

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players take to the internet airwaves yet again, as they broadcast LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Just like clowns IWS Radio is all about spreading love, being happy, and celebrating the good people in this world during the IWS Radio Down with Love, Up with People episode.

Join IWS Radio LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET by clicking HERE, and share the love and happiness with us!!

National Coming Out Day

Cheeeeeers and Happy Friday Chuckleheads!!  You know what today is?

That’s right…

National Coming Out Day!!

And let me tell ya…

If I, as a fine heterosexual father whose kid hates me because I live in sin with a whore can acknowledge that I live a deviant and less than Godly lifestyle; other people who live, shall we say, a less than “righteous” lifestyle, should be able to man up as well.

Er…maybe “man up” is not the phrase…perhaps, “Sally forth, and admit that you are gay, or just a complete asshole.”, would be better.

Anyhoo…

Since today is National Coming Out Day, I would like to give a shout out to some folks who, with a nudge from me, will come out and admit that they are gay, or a complete asshole.

Corey Booker…Mayor of Newark, NJ., and candidate for the U.S. Senate from New Jersey?  You are one gay, mutha-shut-your mouth brutha.  Holy Cow Cor-Boy.

You are well-kempt.  Well-shaven.  Well-everything, and you are a media darling.  You want to hide your true sexuality behind your recent tweet toward a female stripper, but we all know…

You are the black, yet not too black Jim McGreevey, and we appreciate you keeping your gayness at home in Newark, and not taking up space at a rest stop along the New Jersey Turnpike where gay redneck truckers and gay redneck bikers coincidentally meet in order to show their manliness, curse Obama, and all the while, take it up the ass.

Seriously Corey...You are the Bruce Vlanch of New Jersey politics.  It's okay.  Take your Senatorial seat and/or Emmy and shut the hell up.

Sean Hannity…You know dude?  You need to come out and admit that you are biggest douche bag in the history of TV and Radio.  I call you a douche bag because, well…you have a vagina, and sometimes you need one.  You are a girly-man.  You keep saying…

“The Republican Party should do this, and the Republican Party can’t back down.  The Republican Party should elect this guy in District Whatevah.”  But…

As you proudly and incessantly say on your radio show…

“I am not a Republican.  I am a registered Conservative in the State of New York.”

You are, but…You only say that to give yourself cover.  You are a Republican through and through, and if they go down, you can conveniently say that you are not a Republican.

Grow some balls Sean, and conversely, could Sarah Palin please lose the balls that she thinks she has, and go back into the closet of pseudo-manliness?

She is going to be in New Jersey this weekend in order to campaign for Corey Booker’s Senate opponent, Steve Lonegan.

Call me crazy, but as self-aggrandizing as Corey Booker is, I don’t think an egotistical, vapid as the Sahara is dry, right wing numbskull, such as Sarah Palin is going to move the NJ Senate poll numbers much.

And lastly…You know who else should come out of the closet?

John Boehner.

I mean, c’mon…He grew up in the hardworking, blue-collar town of Cincinnati, and worked from dawn to dusk at his family’s bar.  And yet…

He cries often.

I’m thinking his family’s bar was a gay bar; because at real, true, American, straight bars…there is no crying.

It’s time to come out, Speaker Boehner...It's time to come out.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

How Vladimir Putin Can End the Shutdown and Restore America to Her Greatness

Cheeeeeers Chuckleheads and a Happy Weekend Eve Eve to one and all, especially to you Federal worker types whose weekend started this past Monday when you were furloughed.

It’s a sad state of affairs when y’all are sitting idle and without pay while all 535 members of the United States Congress are collecting their paychecks while making a mockery of statesmanship, common sense, and what it means to think beyond their next election.

But, and I hate to say this to any and all Americans who are reading this…

We are a representative democracy and we elected these people.  So…um, well…we have the government, or the lack thereof, that we deserve, and that is why government workers can’t go to the grocery for awhile.

However my friends, I do not pen upon this sacred IWS Radio page today to merely cast aspersions upon America and her people.  Nooooooo…You see?

Unlike the United States Congress, I am here to identify the problem with the state of our once great nation, and offer a solution.

So…To wit, heretofore, and with a hearty, here’s ya goes…Allow me to identify the problem, and offer my solution.

America is a great nation and with amber waves of great people but to be perfectly honest, Americans are also a populous stricken with a collective case of Anti-Attention Deficit Disorder.  It’s true.

Americans are all about instant gratification, a solid trusting in a monolithic set of “facts”, and a comfortable life within a bubble that contains a backyard grill, an ice cold Bud, and being left alone during football season.

A vast amount of Americans, want to pay attention to one thing, and one thing only…themselves.  And my friends, that is why, to that point, Americans are so duly, and well-represented within the no longer hallowed halls of Congress, but...

All is not lost, and there is a way to end this current government shutdown, and restore American greatness.

Remember the halcyon days of America from post-World War II 1946 through December of 1991?  I do…well some of it, but anyhoo…

There was a common thread of unity that ran red, white, and blue throughout every city, hamlet and burg of this great land.  It was a unifying thread of hate so strong, that even in the midst of racial inequality, gender inequality, and wire tapping skills over equality that upon which Americans could agree.

Our hate of Communism, and more specifically for that Great Godless Vodka Drinking Nosferatu of Two Continents, the Soviet Union.

We HATED the Soviets.

The Soviets were wicked and if they had a chance, they would convert your children to Stalinism and then eat them. We had a space race.  We had a nuclear weapons race.  We had a miracle on ice that brought all Americans together.

We wanted to beat them and we did, but then?

When we won the Cold War on December 26, 1991 when the Soviet Union officially dissolved, sadly, our national bond was dissolved as well.

Sure the 1990’s were a post-Cold War honeymoon full of peace dividend rewards, but then on September 11, 2001...The honeymoon was over and the booming U.S. economy was torn down with it.

America was perplexed.  You know why?

Many Americans can’t focus and agree or disagree with more than one thing at a time.  To hear that we were and continue to be attacked by groups like Al-Qaida, the Taliban, Syrian, Iranian, Left-Wing, and Right-Wing terrorists makes no sense.

That’s why many Americans today, Americans who are either rather far-left or far-right, focus on fellow Americans with polar ideologies.

Far Left Loonies line-up and blitz Rush, Sean Hannity and Ted Cruz…Simple enough.

Far Right Tea Drinkers get into a huddle and hate on Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, and President Obama.

In order to fix the logjam of hate that is cast upon our own, buy our own, we should build a Mount Rushmore of Soviet leaders with the heads of Stalin, Brezhnev, and Andropov in stone, so we can cast potatoes at them, so we never forget.

And then we can ask of, and turn a blind eye to, Vladimir Puitn re-establishing the former Soviet Union, and, if that happens?

We will all be OUTRAGED, and Congress will say…

“Obamacare?  Sure, why not…have all the fun you want with that.  But in addition, we need to immediately pass a comprehensive budget, and I don’t care what’s in it, as long as it includes funding for nukes.”

Nearly all Americans would rejoice and say...

"To Hell with Moscow!!  Fuck the Sputnik!!  Let Them Eat Taters!! Mike Eruzione Lives!!"

Unity once again!!  IKR!?  I am freaking brilliant!!

That my friends, is both my break-down as to what is happening, and my solution, but…I have one last thing to add.

Vladimir Putin?  America wants you on that wall.  We need you on that wall…We want you to rebuild that wall!!

And so does Sylvester Stallone, because if you restored the Soviet Union, downloads and subsequent royalties of Rocky IV would go through the roof!!

 здоровье!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page