Holaaaaaaaa y’all! You know, there’s been a lot going on this week that has been covered pretty heavily in the news and on social media and this afternoon something suddenly hit me. I don’t really give a shit about most of it. I know some of this stuff is pretty important and shit, and maybe I should care on some level, but I just can’t.
PED Use in Sports: Don’t really care. I know, I know, “Kids look up to these pro athletes and want to be like them and will use PED’s if their favorite player does!” Don’t care. I know it’s always “Think of the cheeeeeeeeldren!” but, I just can’t get worked up over it.
I know that steroids are dangerous (probably) but it’s not like people are forcing Ryan Braun or A-Rod or anyone else to take HGH or steroids. They’re doing it on their own. If steroids cause their nuts to shrink or mess their minds up or make them shoot blanks then so what? It’s just like smoking, drinking and eating too much, we all know the risks.
The only thing the PED discussion does is give sanctimonious sportswriters the opportunity to wag the finger of indignation at everyone which is their favorite activity, of course.
Immigration: Come one, come all I say! Well, maybe not but pretty close. I know people who start talking about immigration and their faces turn red and I think they’re gonna have a heart attack within like five minutes. And while they’re doing that I’m sitting there shrugging my shoulders and saying “Yeah, I guess. Whatever.”Want to build a fence? Go ahead. I don’t give a shit. Want to pass a “path to citizenship?” Okay, that’s probably a good idea. Want to round up all 11 million illegal immigrants up, stick them in the Astrodome and then “process them” and send “back where they came from?” Get real.
Basically the immigration debate is just a way for people to just go off on rants about brown people using all kinds of racist code words.
Political Sex Scandal: Oh sure these always start out fun. Anthony Weiner sent pics of his wee-wee to some chick? Hilarious! He used the online moniker “Carlos Danger?” Lacks creativity, but still pretty funny. Mark Sanford simply walks off the job as governor and goes to Argentina to spend a week with his mistress? Way cool!
The problem is that it never takes long before the discussion about these sex and sexting scandals become nothing more than partisan politics. All the conservatives who are “disgusted” by Anthony Weiner never had a word to say about Mark Sanford, David Vitter or even Larry Craig. And, everyone who was up in arms about Sanford think Weiner is getting the shaft. (Hey-OOOO)
The worst are the people out there who say “It’s just not right to make fun of Anthony Weiner because he has an addiction and addiction isn’t funny.” Oh bullshit! Addiction is hilarious. These are just people who basically support Weiner, but are embarrassed to admit so they come up with silly shit like that. Kind of like all the people who claim to be a Libertarian who are really just too embarrassed by the idiocy of the Republican Party to admit they’re a member.
Basically, the only thing the Weiner Sexting Scandal serves it to give sanctimonious political writers the chance to wag the finger of indignation at Weiner and anyone who might try to defend him, which is THEIR favorite activity, of course.
So now you’re probably wondering what I do give a shit about. Well, I tell ya, this story about NBA player and former Dukie J.J. Redick having an “Abortion and Relationship Contract” with some chick? Now THAT’S freaking awesome! I guess you have to sprinkle a little schadenfreude on my Scandal Burger to make it interesting to me.
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