Blog Blast For Peace, Pencil Skirts, and Politics

Halloween has passed and the midterm elections and the far too early blaring of Christmas music are upon
us, however…

You know what else is upon us?  A time to inhale our collective breaths and pray for peace prior to the business of the upcoming holidays.  So…

Join Jay and Matt as they talk with Mimi Lenox who is the Founder and Director of BlogBlast for Peace. With members in over 200 nations worldwide, BlogBlast for Peace is a network of bloggers and other social media users who promote peace. Ms. Lenox will be on hand to talk about her work and promote the upcoming BlogBlast for Peace event that takes place on November 4th.

On a more unseemly yet far funnier note, November 4th is the day of the midterm elections and Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players have political laughs in store at the expense of damn near every candidate who is running for office this year.

They’ll even be calling up some campaign headquarters of Senate and House candidates to get some inside info and then be hung up on.

Engage with Jay, Matt, and the pencil skirt wearing peacemaker Mimi Lenox, as we talk peace, make fun of the politicos, and take your phone calls at 661.244.9852 during their Peace, Pencil Skirts, and Politics Show.

Listen LIVE this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as IWS Radio celebrates peace and just like Iowa Senator candidate Joni Ernst, castrates some candidates begging to enter the hallowed halls of Congress.

To listen LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET click HERE.

Ranking the Best Fast Food Restaurants

Holaaaaaaaaaaaaaa foodies! You know, I try not to do fast food too often. It’s not healthy, overpriced and often times unsatisfying. Sometimes though it’s EXACTLY what I need. If you’re really craving something you gotta just feed that craving. So, here are the best fast food places according to Jayman …

15: Cracker Barrel: Okay, so not strictly a fast food joint, but still cheap eats and they have carry out. Plus, if you’re ever just feeling kind of down and lonely and want some comfort food, CB’s meatloaf and mashed potatoes will make you feel better. (Or chicken fried steak.)

14: Waffle House: Serious drunk food here. Steaks, burgers, hash browns, grilled cheese or just get breakfast anytime. It all sticks to your ribs. Also, hit on the waitress, you might get lucky.  

13: Papa Murphy’s Pizza: This is the best Take-and-Bake pizza I’ve had. They put plenty of ingredients on there and aren’t that expensive. They also put a decent amount of sauce on the pizza which is important.

12: Burger King: I really like their burgers. Nothing else though. Only problem is BK is expensive and it’s kind of an outrage.

11: Denny’s: Again, not really a fast food place, but my favorite breakfast by far. A Denny’s Grand Slam is a great way to start the day. Also, good late night foods if you’ve been out and are starving and have enough money to go somewhere other than Waffle House.

10: Sonic: Mostly for their shakes and slushes. Cherry is my favorite slush. They also have good popcorn chicken and great tater tots.

09: Whataburger: Seriously good burgers and fries.

08: Wienerschnitzle: Sometimes you have to just throw caution to the wind and go get a big-ass hot dog.

07: Famous Dave’s BBQ: Only BBQ I’ll get from a chain. Good burgers too.

06: Steak and Shake: Really great shakes! Steak burgers are very good too.

05: Five Guys Burgers: Just awesome. Love everything about their burgers and their fries are the very best fries of any fast food joint in the world.

04: Taco Cabana: Best burritos I’ve ever had from a fast food place or fancy Mexican or Tex-Mex restaurant. Also, really damn good margaritas. I used to go there and get two burritos and two margaritas at the drive through. I hoped they thought the other burrito and margarita were for someone else.

03: Pizza Hut: Thin crust pepperoni pizza with extra sauce is my go-to pizza. It’s consistently good and satisfying.

02: Subway: My favorite sandwich place. I usually get an Italian BMT w/ bacon. Sometimes I get a Subway Melt. Other times I get a cold cut combo. Lots of options! Whichever sandwich I choose I’ll have them toast it and then put pickles and salt and pepper on it only. When I get it home I will put mustard on it myself. They are a little heavy handed with the mustard. Also, their cookies are yummy.

01: Taco Bell: Granted, I had Taco Bell right before writing this, so I’m under the influence. But, as I said on Facebook, there is no way ….. NO WAY … that crack can be as addictive as Taco Bell. I usually play it straight and get a couple of tacos and a bean burrito. I’ve lots of other items from their menu and have almost never been disappointed. As a bonus, Taco Bell is also the very best drunk food ever created. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been drinking either. Beer, wine, liquor … it all goes great with Taco Bell!

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Kentucky Wildcats ARE College Basketball!

Holaaaaaaa, Cheers and welcome to a very special event here at IWS Radio. Our good friend, the lovely and talented Shirley Terrell has agreed to do a special college basketball preview. Well, as you would expect, being a Kentucky fan, she just stuck to celebrating the only school that matters when it comes to college basketball...

Let me state up front and for the record that I am a lifelong, diehard, delusional, card carrying member of the BBN. For those of you who live under a rock, those three letters represent the amazing Big Blue Nation.  It is appropriate that I was ask to write a few words on the upcoming College Basketball season. I live in Lexington Kentucky. Home of the Kentucky Wildcats and yes, WE ARE COLLEGE BASKETBALL!!!  We know it. And so do you.

Before you attempt to point out the arrogance of that statement, please, don't bother. It is arrogant. Kentucky fans can be arrogant, rude, entitled and obnoxious. But we are truly a loyal fan base.

The upcoming basketball season is all anyone here in Wildcat Country can talk about (we have a decent football team this year and the growth and excitement surrounding the team is palpable). We love our football team. We favor our basketball team.  And with Kentucky picked to win the SEC and possibly play for a national title, expectations are high!  I am personally concerned with the SEC basketball conference strength. Florida will be a strong contender for 2nd in the SEC. Slick (Donovan) can coach. He's a little smarmy, but hey, his teams are always ranked. Arkansas Razorbacks are projected to finish 3rd in the SEC. I don't know why. I didn't read it. But I'm happy for Jay!

Of course there are other teams that deserve a mention. Duke, Arizona, Wisconsin, Kansas, Florida, Virginia and Louisville round out the top ten. The North Carolina Tarheels are in that top ten as well. They are not in mine. ESPN won't tell you about their 18 yearlong academic fraud investigation. The CEO of ESPN is a Tarheel alum.

The independent investigation outlines 18 years of academic fraud. Athletes attending what are referred to as "Paper Classes". Meaning of course that they are only classes "on paper". The NCAA and the University of North Carolina are also investigating. I am 100% sure that if this were Kentucky, ESPN would have reporters on every corner in Lexington. It would be the lead story on SportsCenter every hour. On the hour. There would be no end to their relentless pursuit of this story. Espn would apply so much pressure that the University and the NCAA would complete their ongoing investigation post haste. Whatever. It would be finished NOW!!!  Stop trying to minimize the tremendous levels North Carolina went to decieve us. The arrogance in which you cloak yourself as being one of THE premiere programs in college basketball is a joke. Stop it.

You are a fraud. An imposter.

A few more thoughts. The preseason polls have Kentucky fans salivating. However, we remember the 40-0 talk at the beginning of last season. Any team can be beaten on any given night. Not one single Kentucky fan I've spoken to, tweeted, etc will even utter the ridiculous 40-0 talk this season! Let’s be honest. We are not the only team that plays college basketball. We just think we are. Wait, is it arrogant if it’s true?

Lastly, for my friend Matt who gives me a hard time because my day is ruined when Kentucky loses a basketball game...I love you Matt but you really need to find a passion. Deep down inside I know you are a man of many passions. Let them shine my friend. Just let go and enjoy! The berating I will take will be worth it if inspires you to find your true passion. Mine are equality and Kentucky Basketball! See how easy that was! 

Here's to another great year of College (Kentucky) Basketball.

                                

Headlines, Get Your Headlines Here!!

Every time I have trouble of thinking of a topic on which to write, I always think of how Jayman writes funny headlines once in awhile.  I have threatened to do so myself in the past, and today as I had no grist in my mill last night, I offer these headlines that I would like to see…

Local Man in Ebola Video Goes Viral

Lee Majors To Reprise Role in New Warner Bros. Pic, The 1.6 Billion Dollar Man: Adjusted For Inflation

Merger Between Cialis and Viagra Produces World’s First Eight Hour Erection

Brussel Sprouts Enjoyed By Local First Grader

Liquor Store Owner Shoots Wild Turkey

The Words Virgin Mary Spontaneously Appear in Bowl of Alphabet Soup

MSNBC’s Ronan Farrow Daily Finally Garners First Viewer

ISIS Informant Reportedly Totally Hacked Off

A Clean And Sober Rob Ford To Run For Mayor of Gary, Indiana

Sierra Leone Renames Capital City To Stenchville

Dick Morris Predicts That The Next Pope Will Be a Presbyterian

Political Pundit Dick Morris Gunned Down By Drunken Catholic League President Bill Donohue

By Unanimous Vote, The U.S. House and Senate Agree To Outsource Their Legislative Duties

And lastly…

Trick-or-Treat Cancelled Due To Christmas Preparations

There ya have it…All the news that fits.  Enjoy your Tuesday and hey…let’s be careful out there, lest we become a headline ourselves.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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So Funny it's Scary

It was yet another spookerific, spookalicious spookination of a Halloween Extravaganza y’all! Or something anyway. We had a good time not getting any calls and celebrating all the things that go bump in the night. Well, other than us cause we bump all night. I have no idea what that mean. Anyway we discussed …

BTR Problems.

Jay had a bug last week.

Could it beeeeeeee ………. SATAN??????

Beer Mine idiocy and a couple from New York up to something nefarious!

Walkin’ through the Drive Through

We moved some good product and made a big sale.

The IWS Players do a dramatic reading of Edith Wharton’s “All Souls”

Canada loses its innocence

Excellent analysis of what makes for good Halloween treats

A few costume ideas

A trip down memory lane to when Warrior Kat and Mrs Mike called in to our FIRST Halloween Extravaganza

A brilliant and hilarious interview of Dracula by our own Joshua!

The Reverend Moneymaker makes his displeasure with Halloween known.

Phil Diller brings his special brand of humor to Halloween

We hold a séance and check in with Tammy Tibbles in the afterlife

And sooooooooooo much more! Listen or SATAN will get you!!! Or something. 


                               

IWS Person of the Week...Satan!!

Happy Halloween season and who better to be the IWS Person of the Week than none other than that man of macabre mysticism and netherworld narcissism known as Satan!?

That's right, Mr. Satan...be he known as Satan, The Devil, Lucifer, or Nimrod...Satan is the dirty bomb, and our IWS Person of the Week.

Sure, he can appear to be creepy as he truly is...

But he has noteworthy powers such as taking on the looks of anyone or anything he desires.  Sometimes he shape shifts himself into a singular human being...

When this happens, sometimes, little children find him incredibly cute...

Once in a great while, he will appear to a doting public as a mere two-headed hydra of adorable proportions...

And then again, with anti-Christ hate deep within his non-soul, Satan often appears as an ill-informed and unholy trio as he mocks not only the Holy Trinity itself, but common sense as well...

So...Here's to Satan as we make him our IWS Person of the Week.  The Devil's Food Cake cake is on us.

And for more Halloween frivolity...Join Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players as they celebrate all things ghoulish during their Halloween Spooktacular and Boobie Show LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Listen LIVE and call-in at 661.244.9852 and celebrate Halloween with the funniest show on the BTR Network.

To listen LIVE click HERE!!

Get Your Freak On!

That's right kids! It's time once again for an IWS Radio Halloween Extravaganza!! Matt and Jay will celebrate all the scary things that make Halloween so great and so awful. Then they will rank Halloween treats and give advice on what you should hand out. Maybe they'll talk about their favoirte scary movies and what makes a good Halloween film.

Also, Halloween means parties! What are the coolest costumes for 2014? Need some original ideas? Matt and Jay are all over that stuff! They'll help you plan the ultimate trick or treating celebration and give you a few do's and dont's to follow.

The IWS Players will be along to do a dramatic reading of Edith Wharton's "All Souls." Joshua will sit down with Count Dracula for a deep, hard-hitting interview. We'll also hear from other IWS correspondents as they celebrate and analyze Halloween like no other show on internet radio.

All that and YOUR CALLS! Join us for all the spooky and creepy fun. Or are you afraid??? Join us Sunday at 12 Noon ET for a "Spooktacular Halloween and Boobies Extravaganza!" 

Pre-Halloween Hiatus on IWS Radio

IWS Radio has learned that Jay and Matt are very tired and won’t be doing a show this week, but actually, it‘s not because of being physically tired…here ya go…

Matt-Man said to Jayman…

“You know I am really broken up over going through this impending divorce after 28 years…could we take a week off? I am emotionally exhausted.”

And Jay said to Matt something to the effect…Yeah, I’m sure you are bleeding like an Ebola patient inside.

Sometimes Jayman does not take Matt-Man’s sensibilities seriously, but nonetheless, we here at IWS Radio know that Matt-Man was almost emotional about his impending divorce.

So they are taking the week off, and preparing diligently for their October 26 show which will be the IWS Halloween Extravaganza Show (working title of course).

And…

They won’t be posting on the website until October 25th or something…Y’know?  These two idiots have no sense of arithmetic, time, or numbers, so…It may be later and/or earlier.  Who the hell knows, but one thing we do know…

The next IWS Radio Show will air LIVE October 26th from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio, which trust me, doesn't have a clue about numbers either!!

So, we are on a early fall hiatus until the 25th, but in the meantime, you can always catch our last show as we talked Oktoberfest and Divorce…It was a classic!!

Here's Why Everyone is So Angry

Hola y’all! It seems like almost everyone is just wandering around being grumpy all the time these days. We’re all in a bad mood and we’re taking it out on each other. But, WHY are we in such a bad mood all the time lately? Well …

We have to constantly worry that the guy standing in line in front of us at Walmart who can’t stop hacking and coughing might give us some nasty virus like Ebola. Oh sure, government officials keep telling us how hard it is to contract Ebola, but THE MOST TRUSTED NAME IN NEWS might beg to differ:

Not only are we worried that we or our family and friends could catch something nasty we are also worried that our computers, tablets and mobile devices could too:

Because of that we find ourselves looking for a distraction. Maybe a distraction like Canadian tennis superstar Eugenie Bouchard in a bikini, eh?

Of course that kind of distraction leads us to engage in other no-so-wholesome activities:

But, halfway through that activity a little voice in our heads reminds us of something that ruins the mood:

So now we know that when we reach the Pearly Gates we’re gonna be asked why we were doing THAT and our only answer will be “I don’t know. Boobs.”

We all know how THAT will work out:

So that’s why we walk around town all day with a frown on our faces and are so grumpy all the time:

Damn, it’s enough to drive a man to drink:

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Jay and Matt Brought the Bavarian Beer Garden Down

Let me tell you what…There are pod casts and then there are pod casts…yeah I know...everyone knows that by definition, but I was being dramatic and hyperbolic.

Anyhoo…

Yesterday, Jay, Matt and the IWS Radio players put on a show that will go down in German history as the greatest accomplishment since the push through the Netherlands and Belgium. (Which, since both were and are still Kingdoms, well…is not THAT great of an accomplishment, but whatever.)

After a week longeing for friendly banter, Jayman had plenty of joyful German music and linguistic lessons on tap.  Matt-Man even counted to twelve in German.  It’s true!!

The greatest German proverbialist ever was on hand as Pete Nietzsche talked sunrises, chickens, and well whatever.  He was awesome.

Bobby Kraft chimed in with a dramatic reading of Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover in honor of Matt-Man’s impending divorce.  The entire chat room immediately divorced their significant other.

The IWS law firm of Wie, Love, Kuntz showed their legal bad asses, and offered their help to anyone and everyone.

Rev. Moneymaker tried to make sense of Matt-Man’s ungodly and heretical divorce.  As always, he left us all with more questions than answers.

Schmoop had her say about Matt-Man getting divorced and it left us all with more tears than smiles.  Odd.

Jesse Ferg and a myriad of guests sexed up the chat room and Jesse is now in the custody of the Marion Police Department.

Lastly, in addition to wheat beer infused friendly Oktoberfest and divorce related chit chat between Jay and Matt, our fave Canadian Jamie Mapleleaf chimed in and we attempted to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving with a Canadian turkey no less.

If that’s not enough to entice you to listen to the show…you’re dead inside.  And…well…even if you are, give it a listen and help out Jay and Matt who are still sort of alive inside.

They’ll feel better and you might just laugh.  Give IWS Radio a listen, and get outta here Mc Gooooooooo…

German Hotness Makes up IWS PotW

This week IWS Radio is celebrating Oktoberfest so here are some of the greatest Germans of all time!

Sexy songstress and actress Marlene Dietrich ...

Sex expert Dr. Ruth Westheimer ...

Tennis great Steffi Graff ...

Olympic Ice Princess Katarina Witt ...

Supermodel/Actress/TV Hot Heidi Klum...

And of course German Seductress Lilli Von Schtupp...

So raise a pint of Weizenbock, chow down on some brats and sauerkraut and let's all celebrate Matt-Man's divorce and Oktoberfest! Be sure to listen to "Bavarian Beer Garden Break Up" on IWS Radio at 12 Noon ET!!!

Bavarian Beer Garden Break-Up

With the exception of those uber-bitter ISIS thugs, folks all over the world are celebrating the 2014 Oktoberfest season.  Jay, Matt, and the staff of IWS Radio are no exception, and are having an Oktoberfest celebration of their own.

Cold beer, hot babes, and laugh out loud funny wit and satire from the IWS Radio Players are on the party menu.  In addition to Oktoberfest…

Matt-Man found out this week that after nearly twenty-eight years of less than wedded bliss, he will be getting that dissolution of marriage that he so richly deserves.

So, IWS Radio is celebrating a joyful uber-bash of all things German, all things beer, and all things divorce related this week.

On hand for the big soiree will be Jamie Mapleleaf, Bobby Kraft, Pete Nietzsche, and perhaps even the nearly recovered willy-willy survivor, Stubby Stonehenge.

Listen in, join the party, and chime in with your phone calls tomorrow LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as IWS Radio presents a Bavarian Beer Garden Break-Up.

To listen LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET, click HERE!!

Danke schön and Prosit!!

Announcers are Ruining Football

Holaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa football fans! You know? I’m pretty much to the point where I have to mute NFL football games because of the announcers and “analysts.” The NFL guys annoy me because of the way they shower the QB and head coach with praise non-stop throughout the game.

No matter what is happening on the field the announcers heap praise on one or both of the starting quarterbacks throughout the game. A QB can take the snap, drop straight back heave the ball down field and the receiver can have to leap backward and catch the ball while standing on his head and the announcers will go bonkers over the “amazing” pass. If there happens to be a defensive player within ten feet of the QB when he throws the ball the announcers will praise him for showing so much courage in the face of a vicious pass rush.

The only time they stop praising the quarterback is when they want to blow sunshine up the head coach’s ass. Here’s a typical generic example …

Russell Wilson drops back to pass, the blitz gets through the line forcing the Wilson to scramble, he spins and runs to his right, but there are defenders there too, so, he reverses field, gives ground, cuts back to his left, sets his feet as best he can, heaves desperation pass wayyyyyyyyyy down the field, it gets tipped by a defensive back and the receiver makes a diving catch in the end zone.

What does the announcer say after that happens? WHAT A GUTSY PLAY CALL BY PETE CARROLL!!!”... This leaves the viewer saying WTF man?

I swear I can’t stand it anymore. According the people who announce NFL games a group of around eight white quarterbacks plus Russell Wilson are the GREATEST HUMAN BEINGS IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD! I’m not asking them to be honest and objective about the QB’s play each week, but if they could just tone it down a bit that would be nice.

College announcers tend to focus more on kissing the coach’s ass more than the player. They know the player will be gone soon enough, but the coach will be around for years and years. It’s pretty close to being as annoying as all the QB praise from the NFL guys, but college football is so much more fun to watch, it isn’t as annoying.

What does annoy me about college and NFL announcers equally is the stupid shit they say each week. I took some notes the last few weeks so I could share some real doozies with you.

- Lots of announcers say things like “The ‘young’ rookie” or “The ‘young’ freshman.” Really, a rookie in the NLF is “young?” A freshman in college is …. “YOUNG?” I never would have thought about that.  (Cris Collinsworth and Doug Flutie are the worst at this.)

- Guess what color the player who was described as having “cocky speed” was? Yeah, he was a “scrappy” white guy.

- “The last thing Coach Snyder needs from his team now is for them to force errors that are unnecessary.”  Wait. What?

- This was a great one …

Play-By-Play Guy: “Arkansas with their first meditative drive of the game.”

Analyst: *Long Pause* “Yeah, that was a very methodical drive.”

Play-By-Play Guy: “Right! That’s what I was going for! Methodical!”

I would love to see meditative offenses: “Okay you visualize yourself running a crossing route and running your defender into the umpire. YOU go to your happy place down the sideline. And you close your eyes, hold onto the ball tight and then manifest your dreams of yourself frolicking and running fast through a field into reality.”

- Another hilarious exchange…

Analyst: “The play was counterfeited at the point of attack.”

Play-By-Play Guy: “You mean compromised?”

Analyst: “Yeah, that too.”

- Out of bounds calls are complicated…

“The runner goes out of bounds, but for some reason they call him out of bounds.”

“It looks like they called him out of bounds when he stepped out of bounds.”

Great NLF analysis here…

“Joe Flacco needs to the throw the ball and the receivers need to catch the ball.”

And, some college QBs are very damn clever…

“You give this guy some options and he’ll take one!.”

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