IWS Person of the Week...Satan!!

Happy Halloween season and who better to be the IWS Person of the Week than none other than that man of macabre mysticism and netherworld narcissism known as Satan!?

That's right, Mr. Satan...be he known as Satan, The Devil, Lucifer, or Nimrod...Satan is the dirty bomb, and our IWS Person of the Week.

Sure, he can appear to be creepy as he truly is...

But he has noteworthy powers such as taking on the looks of anyone or anything he desires.  Sometimes he shape shifts himself into a singular human being...

When this happens, sometimes, little children find him incredibly cute...

Once in a great while, he will appear to a doting public as a mere two-headed hydra of adorable proportions...

And then again, with anti-Christ hate deep within his non-soul, Satan often appears as an ill-informed and unholy trio as he mocks not only the Holy Trinity itself, but common sense as well...

So...Here's to Satan as we make him our IWS Person of the Week.  The Devil's Food Cake cake is on us.

And for more Halloween frivolity...Join Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players as they celebrate all things ghoulish during their Halloween Spooktacular and Boobie Show LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Listen LIVE and call-in at 661.244.9852 and celebrate Halloween with the funniest show on the BTR Network.

To listen LIVE click HERE!!

IWS Person of the Week...Fox and Friends Elisabeth Hasselbeck

If it's Sunday, it's the IWS Person of the Week and this week?  We have bittersweet news for all of you Fox and Friends followers.

It seems that Gretchen Carlson died Friday and come Monday morning, one uber-licious right-winger Elisabeth Hasselbeck, will be replacing Gretch's ignorant fat ass on the F&F more than curvy couch alongside Steve "Einstein" Doocy, and Brian "My Smile Is Ten Times Larger Than My IQ" Kilmeade...

We here at IWS Radio regret the passing of Gretchen Carlson, but eh...her lineage and tradition of hardcore, get to the facts journalism will live on in former reality TV star, Elisabeth Hasselbeck...

Elisabeth has cut her journalistic teeth on The View, and is now ready to enter the no-cleavage barred world of FOX News...

Roger Ailes loves lonnnnnng legs at FOX News, and Lis-Has has plenty to spare...

When Elisabeth Hasselbeck found out she would be sitting in between Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade every morning, her reaction was, "Really!?"...

And yet our golden-haired, deep-cleavaged, blonde, right wing adorable Kewpie Doll, Person of the Week, said...

"My loser half-assed Ouarterback husband, Tim Hasselbeck is a sports pundit, and somebody has to make a splash, and pay the bills so here I am dong morning television and asking for Obama's birth certificate!!?"

So here's to Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  If she tries really hard, or not even not all that hard...she could come off as looking smarter than the late, great Gretchen Carlson.

Annnnnnnnnd...To catch some really smart and funny radio tomorrow, join Jay and Matt on Blog Talk Radio LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET today as the celebrate Food, Sex, and Farm Animals on IWS Radio.  It is sure to be another Number One show as long as you help out.

You can catch all of IWS Radio's festivities  LIVE today by clicking HERE.

George Zimmerman is GUILTY!

Holaaaaaaa Bitches! Well we’re back full force here at the old IWS Radio website and I can feel the tension in the crowd. George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin and will be convicted and sent to jail. Everything is waiting for me to tell you WHY George Zimmerman is guilty. Well, I don’t know why. I just, I don’t know, had to go with either “Guilty” or “Innocent” and finally flipped a coin and it came up guilty. Which he is, you know. The Coin Gods said so.

Of course I haven’t watched a single minute of the trial, but I don’t have to. I know all the facts I need to know and can’t be bothered by silly things like the law, jury instructions, admissible evidence, witness testimony and all that boring shit. I flipped the coin and it came up heads for “Guilty” so that’s that.

Oh I would have watched the trial but dammit, I’m just not the legal experts you guys all are. I think the fact that you guys on Facebook and Twitter tend to disagree over legal definitions is probably further proof that you’re experts and really know your shit. Well, either that or you made up your minds long before the trial started and are only using the evidence presented to confirm your beliefs or be OUTRAGED at the lie the “other side” is telling in court. God forbid any of you people ever allow your beliefs to be challenged and consider the possibility that you’re wrong about something.

Anyhoodle, sometime over the next few days George Zimmerman will be convicted, acquitted or there will be a hung jury. Then there will be the required fake outrage, bullshit claims that people “read on the internet” and then we’ll all move on to the next big thing and forget all about George and the dead 17 year old kid “whatshisname.”

Which reminds me … The funny thing about that whole “sanctity of life’ crowd is that they always seem to be on the side of the killer. Well, unless the killer is a woman having an abortion, then they get serious about saving that fetus because “all life is precious.” Unless two years after the kid is born and it’s accidentally killed by someone who was playing with an unsecured gun in the house. Then, the “sanctity of life” crowd who believes that “all life is precious” won’t be anywhere to be found. But, I digress. 

I tell you one thing though, I sure as hell wouldn’t want my fate to be in the hands of an all-woman jury like old George’s is. Holy Hell! There’s no way THAT would end well. All the prosecution would have to do is read off a bunch of my old blog posts or some of the Babes of the Week from here and I would be toast.

Besides, I don’t do that well with women. Oh sure, at first things seem to go okay but after a bit I eventually say something that makes them sit and think and next thing you know, they don’t want to be alone with me. So weird.

You know what would be worst? An all-white woman jury! Oh God! Those angry Elisabeth Hasselbeck types would convict me on the basis of my hot Asian babes posts alone. Fucking racists!

Uhhh … what was I talking about? Oh yeah, George Zimmerman is guilty according to the Coin Gods. The jury? *shrugs shoulders* who knows or cares? Their verdict probably won’t matter to all the experts out there on Social Media anyway.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook.com/Jayman68
@Jayman_IWS

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Cheeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads!!  Matt-Man here writing on this here IWS Radio blog for the first time in, oh I don’t know…since this past Sunday.

Holy Cow!!  That’s like a century in dog years…I think.

Anyhoo…

On the IWS Radio Show this past Sunday, I mentioned to Jayman that we should take a couple of days off from the website, so I could do some things that tighten up our IWS brand, and tie up some loose ends as far as our You Tube page which is under my name and not the IWS Radio name.  And plus…

We could relax for a few, and let out a nice big Social Media sigh, and then come back refreshed.

I stated that merely taking Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off would be good for our souls, our creative juices, and I could fix our You Tube page.  Jayman, while not necessarily agreeing, acquiesced.

So…

After Sunday’s show, my best friend Schmoop and I drank, played music, and talked about rearranging furniture.  The Schmoopster was scheduled off and has been off, all her life week, so she would do that, and then?

We ate Johnsonville Brats…and lots of them.

Monday, I had to go to work…go to work with a hangover.  It wasn’t that bad until, I got THE PHONE CALL.  On the other end of the line was a crazy woman who was insisting that I should pay her $100.00 a week in order to help her put our son through college.

Her argument was built on a pile of sand, but she quickly and convincingly firmed up her philosophical treatise, and won me over to her side by calling me immoral, and labeling The Schmoopster, as homely.

So Monday night, drunk on the euphoria of being on a quasi-vacation and the lyrical tones of the crazy woman’s voice in my head, I had a couple of beers, a frozen pizza, and then went to bed.

Tuesday was awesome, because I only work Noon-5 on Tuesdays.  Sure it was raining, but my adorable, college bound son showed up at The Beer Mine needing $200.00.  I gave it to him, and after a couple of moments nervous of laughter, he went on his way.

When I got home shortly after 5 PM I walked into the Bagwine digs and the furniture had indeed been rearranged by The Schmoopster and it looked awesome, however…The cat was none to pleased.

I had a couple of drinks, and then before I knew it, it was 6:30 PM and it was time for Jayman and I to be interviewed by Katie D on her Blog Talk Radio Show.  We were there.  We were pithy, and then…

Ol’ Katie ran out of questions, cut the interview short, and the evening took a turn for the worse.

It turns out that the adorable, yet awkward interview was a result of Jayman and I, especially me, threatening the young Miss Katie through our penchant for answering the questions that Miss Katie asked.

I think it was my answer to her question, “How did your show come about?” and I responded, “Jay sent me an e-mail.”, that sent the young ingénue’s protector and psychotic sansei into a verdant and virulent attack upon my character upon the timeless timeline of my Facebook page.

With my good name besmirched by accusations of pedophilia and felonious assault, Schmoop ate and went to bed, and shortly afterwards, I ate and went to bed.

On top of all of that heartache, I was crushed to find out that Gretchen Carlson will no longer be on Fox and Friends in the morning, as her gravitas, and journalistic instincts necessitate a primetime afternoon show, and she will be replaced by Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

So much anguish…I have had better vacations, but it’s not a total loss.

The re-arrangement of the Bagwine digs looks awesome.  Ryno and I are meeting for pizza tonight at The Hut, and…

Looking back on these past few days of vacation?  I know that I am living the thug life.  Word!!

Oh the You Tube thing that was the impetus for all of this?  Eh, I never really got around to that, but trust me, I will.

After all, I am one immoral son of a bitch who lives with a homely chick, and that’s how we roll.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
Matt’s Facebook Page