Social Media, Self-Censorship, and Sofia Vergara

Beginning this Saturday, BIG changes are coming to the IWS Radio website...

But for more information, you will have to look us up Saturday as we pimp out our Sunday radio show...

Social Media, Self-Censorship, and YOU!!

Make sure to check back here tomorrow for details and local listings for IWS Radio's presentation of Social Media, Self-Censorship, and YOU!!

This show is going to be hotter than Sofia Vergara, and let me tell ya...That's a huge claim!!

Most Annoying Movie and TV Clichés

Holaaaaaaaa y’all! You know, movies and TV shows can be very entertaining, but they sure do take a lot of liberties with reality sometimes. Here are some movie and TV clichés that really annoy me.

There’s never any traffic unless it’s for dramatic purposes.

A couple has crazy wild sex and then the dude just rolls over off of her and they lie there covered even though they’re sweating profusely. They never put down a towel or anything so they’re lying there in the mess they made. Gross.

Kids talk like adults.

Some has major surgery and is near death for a while yet they have no catheter.

Female leads that play cops, lawyers or doctors were raped or will get raped. They were also strippers or drug addicts in their youth. Or both!

Good guys have unlimited ammo unless they need to dramatically reload just in time to kill the bad guy.  

Big strong guy gets shot in the stomach by a little .22 (or even a bigger handgun) and it knocks him backwards several feet. Or he gets shot a dozen times and JUST KEEPS COMING!

Cop is thiiiiiiiiiiis close to solving the big crime, but DAMN! He gets suspended because he can’t control his hot temper. Ignores suspension and solves crime anyway.

Female detective who has the least seniority of anyone in the unit gets promoted to lieutenant and the policeman’s union NEVER files a complaint. The only person who even says a word is the biggest misogynist womanizing prick on the show. He sleeps with the new lieutenant.

Tech experts working for the police department can hack all kinds of official government computers with no repercussions whatsoever.  

Bad guy gets off 37 shots and hits nobody. Good guy gets off one shot and BAM! Head shot! 

20-something with low paying entry level job in NYC has a very cool loft apartment with original brick walls and floor to ceiling windows. Or, they live in Los Angeles and have a house with an ocean view.

Women are always treated as objects.

Characters that are super smart and experienced suddenly make a totally stupid mistake that even a regular every day person off the street wouldn’t have made.

A character who is a raging misogynist prick who has no respect whatsoever for women gets every single woman in the world to just jump into bed with him within minutes of meeting him.

Every single male character falls madly in love with lead female character who they keep describing as amazingly hot and beautiful even if she’s not. (Looking at you Jennifer Carpenter in “Dexter.”)

Nobody ever just coughs or clears his/ her throat. If they cough they’re going to end up in the hospital near death from some rare disease.

Cops shoot and kill one or even multiple suspects, but are never put on mandatory administrative leave while the shooting is looked into. Unless there’s an IAD guy who has an axe to grind and is looking for some payback against the cop.

There’s a bunch of people in a house and one guy comes in and asks ONE person “can I have a word with you.” They walk maybe three or four feet from the group and talk in normal voices as if nobody could possibly hear them.

Ridiculously gorgeous girl who wears glasses and ugly loose-fitting clothes is given a makeover. They take off her glasses and give her a tight, short dress and OMG THANK GOD SHE’S ACTUALLY BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYTHING IS OKAY NOW!

Fat, middle-aged, uneducated and unaccomplished buffoon is married to super-hot chick.

When arriving home and finding that the power is out they always try the light switch and when it doesn’t work, they enter the house anyway. They never look around the neighborhood to see if their neighbors have power.

When investigating a strange noise at night women don’t turn on the lights and wear the most revealing underwear they own.

A cop can blow up the bad guy’s car with one shot.

The hero cop can pick any lock with a paper clip or use a credit card to open the deadbolt unless there’s a child trapped inside a burning building then THE DOOR JUST WON’T OPEN NO MATTER WHAT!!

Girl comes onto a guy, but he tries to push her back. The guy’s wife walks into the room at that exact moment and refuses to believe that “it’s not what it looks like!”

Damn, this could go on forever! But, I’ll stop there.

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Deep Thoughts By Jon Voight

Hi IWS readers, Jon Voight here for IWS.

If that sounded redundant…well, my love for Israel is redundant as well.

Sure…in my early years I was man about town, gad about actor who favored Liberal views.

I worked for George McGovern, protested against the Vietnam War with Jane “Fucking” Fonda, and was a spokesman for the Communist in group in Chile known as Unidad Popular, for God sakes, but…

Much like Dennis Miller had to re-invent himself into a creepy, unfunny comedian, I have had to re-invent myself into a guy who is an Oscar winning actor who loves Sean Hannity and Mike Huckabee more than my role in Coming Home.  God I was, and am to this day, brilliant.

Anyway…

After my daughter Angeline Jolie was born, and ultimately set her course on to super stardom, I felt a bit left out…a bit like an actor put out to pasture.  So…

I went to the Roger Ailes School of Becoming the New Hot Conservative…

Anyway…Aside of my new found conservatism and all things right-wing…FOX News seeks me out because I have thoughts, and here are some of them…

Israeli’s rock…and if you are a true American, you would wish that all Palestinians die not from explosives, but die upon a cross like Jesus, because that would be ironic, because unlike Palestinians, Jews love Jesus.

My daughter Angelina Jolie is a whore and if she ever actually PRODUCES a baby rather than stealing one from a foreign country, our government should threaten her with abortion, but not actually perform one.

That short, no-good little fuck Dustin Hoffman, hasn't talked to me since the end of the filming of Midnight Cowboy in 1969….what a no-talent prick.

Right wing radio and TV make fun of us Hollywood actors for being Liberals.

Perhaps I used to be a liberal, but times change…demographics change…cash-flow levels change, self-respect, and personal validation levels change.  And I unlike our President stand with Israel!!

Sincerely and My Heart Felt Shaloms to Israel,

Jon Voight

Here’s the thing people, and this is the coherent, not trying to continue his career Matt talking…well…writing…

The right makes fun of liberals speaking out behind the face of Hollywood actors and yet Hannity, Huckabee, and others, have diminutive thinker Jon Voight countering on “their” side during their shows.

Really?  Jon Voight?  Jesus take me now.

In my opinion, here is the problem with Mr. Voight and with many people in the United States.

Voight said of President Obama, that he (Obama) has…“put Israel in harm’s way and … promoted anti-Semitism throughout the world.”

Really?  We just sent them more money for Iron Dome and already send Israel 3 Billion+ a year.

When Bebe Fucking Netanyahu says to America, be it to this administration or any American administration, “Don’t ever second guess me again.”…

It’s time to put the carrot in front of the horse.  I stand by Israel 100%, but c’mon Bieber Netanyahu, don’t act like a damned punk…your star will fall at some point and probably at the hands of someone like Leonardo DiCaprio, and well, you need our money...even though you proclaim yourself to be a stand alone, successful democracy...or something.

And if you lose our financial backing...Jon Voight will cry.  I don't want to see Jon Voight cry.  It would be unseemly.  Straighten up Israel and don't make Jon Voight cry.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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Redneckville Police Blotter

Holaaaaaaaa all you law abiding citizens! Even though I live at the Palatial Estates, some parts of Redneckville are a little dodgy. So, let’s check the Redneckville Police blotter to see what kinds of dangerous people they’re dealing with. (Some of these are real and some are made up. You’ll have to guess which is which.)

- RPD received a call from a woman who lives on N. Sycamore saying that her ex-boyfriend keeps calling her and threatening her with physical violence. The RPD told her to call them back if he shows up at her house.

- A man who lives on W. Bower called to complain that people are “speeding like hell through the neighborhood” and he’s had enough of it. RPD promised extra patrols through the area.

- Employees at the Dollar General Store on Capps Road called the RPD just before 9 am on Thursday morning to say that there was a man who was possibly passed out in a car in their parking lot. Police talked to the man and found out that he was Dollar General’s newest employee and couldn’t remember what time the store opened and fell asleep while waiting.

- A man who lives on S. Cherry called the RPD to complain that someone was sitting in a car in front of his house stealing his Wi-Fi. He was counseled to set up a password on his Wi-Fi to protect it, but he claimed he didn’t know how. The man was given the phone number of a few companies around town where he could get help with his problem.

- An employee of the Dollar Tree called the RPD to say that a teenager had stolen a candy bar from the store. RPD confronted the teenager who insisted he had forgotten that he put the candy bar in his pocket. The teen was ticketed for petty theft charge and told to also get a haircut.

- A man who lives on Hawthorne Drive called the RPD to complain that a woman whom he had met from an online service stole his wallet when they met in person at a local hotel. He told officers that he didn’t want to file a formal complaint. He just wanted them to get his wallet and credit cards back without his wife or employer finding out about it.

- An eight year old child called 911 to tell the police that his dad was being really mean to him. The child was told to quit being a whiney little brat all the time and maybe daddy won’t have to be so angry and drink so much all the time.

- Someone called the RPD to complain that there was a deranged and possible drunk man at Maplewood Cemetery. Policed arrived to find a distraught 28 year old man crying uncontrollably while lying on the grave of his wife who passed way four days ago. The man was arrested for suspicion of public intoxication, creating a public disturbance and resisting arrest.

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Even During Troubled Times, IWS Radio Goes Rogue Wholesome

They said it couldn’t be done, but Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team did a wholesome, family fun show in response to their smutty show that they did the week before.  And?

It was awesome!!

Ma Tibbles chimed in not only once, but twice with her homespun wisdom.

Tammy Tibbles brought her spunky and fiercely fantastic form of life lessons as well.

Rev. Moneymaker graciously absolved Jay and Matt from all of their sins from last week’s show and then went on what appeared to be a drunken and expletive fueled tirade against Guy Ahnyurdyck.  It wasn’t pretty, but God Dammit, it was real life wholesomeness.

Jay made sure that the Brady Brunch showed up with some cutesy 70’s fun and morals, and Matt?

He brought along the Douglas family as the My Three Sons family celebrated Rob and Katie’s wedding/honeymoon.

We found out oddly enough that Drew Peacock has a quasi-wholesome side.

Listeners discovered at the same time as we did that in the 1950’s, teenage kids named Jimmy could be put on probation for knowing a homosexual named Ralph.

The Cleavers of Leave it to Beaver fame were well included as The Beave struggled with dating and Ward discussed the limited role of women.

Jay and Matt discussed the aforementioned Brady family and the disturbing dynamic between Daddy Mike and daughter Cindy.

Slyder Balzcock had a somewhat welcoming Friendship Day neighborhood cookout.

Jamie Mapleleaf opened things up as usual with harsh words for Matt, but as always, after that…the show kicked wholesome ass.

So…listen to it, love it, and laugh at it, and tell at least ten friends to do the same, because…well…this episode was wholesome.  So, give it a listen!!

Ebola Hemorrhagic Virus: IWS Person of the Week!

We're doing something a little different for Person of the Week this week. Since nobody has really done anything this week, we're going to name the Ebola Hemorrhagic Virus our "Person" of the Week.

As you probably know Dr. Kent Brantly and Nancy Writebol are the first Americans infected with the virus to be brought back to the US for treatment. "Patient Zero and Patient One" if this was a movie. They were brought back in this fancy plane.

And they got to use this sweet isolation tent.

They will be staying in VERY private rooms and won't have to worry about constant visitors.

So welcome to Georgia Kent and Nancy!  Best of luck to you and get better fast!

And congrats to the Ebola Hemorrhagic Virus for being named the IWS "Person" of the Week!

Be sure to tune into a very special "Good, Decent, Wholesome Family Fun Show" on IWS Radio today at 12 Noon ET!! This will be the most family friendly show we've ever done. Probably. Kinda.

MSJS: Wholesome Is The New Smut

Matt confesses.  Jay repents.  You…are skeptical of their new found wholesomeness.

Matt:  Hola.
Matt:  Hola?
Jay:  Helloooooooo?  Anyone there?
Matt:  What up dawg?

Jay:  M’eh nothing much and you?
Matt:  Let me tell you…I have already done the dishes, shit, showered, and dressed for the day!!

Jay:  I’ll alert the media.
Matt:  Thank you.

Jay:  Last Sunday’s fucking, sucking, and ass ramming smut show was kind of uncomfortable.
Matt:  I know.  I still feel dirty about it.
Jay:  We need to cleanse our minds, bodies, and souls this week.

Matt:  You mean do some type of confession and repentance show?
Jay:  Well sorta…We should do a good, wholesome, family fun type of show.
Matt:  I’m always up for some wholesome family fun especially if a hot sister is involved.
Jay:  No…No…We have to move past that smut and talk about good things…pure things.
Matt:  Alright.

Jay:  We could do a few mea culpas for being sinners at times.  Kinda like going to confession.
Matt:  As you know, I was raised Catholic, so confession brings back some fond memories.
Jay:  Fond memories, or memories of being fondled?
Matt:  See?  See?  We can’t go there this week.
Jay:  Damn.  You’re right.  My bad.
Matt:  We could talk about religion and how it helps us out and/or makes us laugh.

Jay:  Hell…We could rank religions by their wholesomeness.
Matt:  Brilliant!!

Jay:  We could read some of the wholesome goings on in our town from our local newspapers.
Matt:  That’s always a good, Andy, Barney, Mayberry kind of wholesome time right there.
Jay:  IKR?  Maybe Schmoop could show up with some fried chicken from the deli.

Matt:  I dunno, but she did have a couple of incidences where IWS Radio took over her life.
Jay:  Oh my…I hope she is alright.
Matt:  She survived, and we’ll discuss.

Jay:  I think perhaps Rev. Moneymaker should add his liturgical voice to this show.
Matt:  By all means, as will Slyder Balzcock.  That man is the epitome of wholesome.

Jay:  He is, and I’ll get Drew Peacock to show his wholesome side this week also.
Matt:  Drew Peacock?  Does he have a wholesome side?
Jay:  I guess we’ll find out Sunday.

Matt:  Wow this is turning into quite the wholesome extravaganza!!
Jay:  And dig it…Triple Jaxxx will have a song for us yet again.
Matt:  Be still my heart…When I think of Jaxxx, I think wholesomeness.

Jay:  I think we’re ready…This going to be a kick ass…er, loving pat on the butt wholesome show.
Matt:  I am with ya my wholesome friend.
Jay:  Let’s do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

To join Jay, Matt, and the hilarity with the rest of the IWS Radio Team as they broadcast their, Good Wholesome Decent Family Fun Show episode LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET tomorrow on Blog Talk Radio…click HERE!!