Deep Thoughts By Jon Voight

Hi IWS readers, Jon Voight here for IWS.

If that sounded redundant…well, my love for Israel is redundant as well.

Sure…in my early years I was man about town, gad about actor who favored Liberal views.

I worked for George McGovern, protested against the Vietnam War with Jane “Fucking” Fonda, and was a spokesman for the Communist in group in Chile known as Unidad Popular, for God sakes, but…

Much like Dennis Miller had to re-invent himself into a creepy, unfunny comedian, I have had to re-invent myself into a guy who is an Oscar winning actor who loves Sean Hannity and Mike Huckabee more than my role in Coming Home.  God I was, and am to this day, brilliant.

Anyway…

After my daughter Angeline Jolie was born, and ultimately set her course on to super stardom, I felt a bit left out…a bit like an actor put out to pasture.  So…

I went to the Roger Ailes School of Becoming the New Hot Conservative…

Anyway…Aside of my new found conservatism and all things right-wing…FOX News seeks me out because I have thoughts, and here are some of them…

Israeli’s rock…and if you are a true American, you would wish that all Palestinians die not from explosives, but die upon a cross like Jesus, because that would be ironic, because unlike Palestinians, Jews love Jesus.

My daughter Angelina Jolie is a whore and if she ever actually PRODUCES a baby rather than stealing one from a foreign country, our government should threaten her with abortion, but not actually perform one.

That short, no-good little fuck Dustin Hoffman, hasn't talked to me since the end of the filming of Midnight Cowboy in 1969….what a no-talent prick.

Right wing radio and TV make fun of us Hollywood actors for being Liberals.

Perhaps I used to be a liberal, but times change…demographics change…cash-flow levels change, self-respect, and personal validation levels change.  And I unlike our President stand with Israel!!

Sincerely and My Heart Felt Shaloms to Israel,

Jon Voight

Here’s the thing people, and this is the coherent, not trying to continue his career Matt talking…well…writing…

The right makes fun of liberals speaking out behind the face of Hollywood actors and yet Hannity, Huckabee, and others, have diminutive thinker Jon Voight countering on “their” side during their shows.

Really?  Jon Voight?  Jesus take me now.

In my opinion, here is the problem with Mr. Voight and with many people in the United States.

Voight said of President Obama, that he (Obama) has…“put Israel in harm’s way and … promoted anti-Semitism throughout the world.”

Really?  We just sent them more money for Iron Dome and already send Israel 3 Billion+ a year.

When Bebe Fucking Netanyahu says to America, be it to this administration or any American administration, “Don’t ever second guess me again.”…

It’s time to put the carrot in front of the horse.  I stand by Israel 100%, but c’mon Bieber Netanyahu, don’t act like a damned punk…your star will fall at some point and probably at the hands of someone like Leonardo DiCaprio, and well, you need our money...even though you proclaim yourself to be a stand alone, successful democracy...or something.

And if you lose our financial backing...Jon Voight will cry.  I don't want to see Jon Voight cry.  It would be unseemly.  Straighten up Israel and don't make Jon Voight cry.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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GOP Convention 2016...Cleveland, Ohio!! Really?

Cheeeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and it is good to be back writing upon the God-Graced pages of iwsradio.com…

As you know or may not know, Jayman and I took a few days off, and if you didn't know, that means you should follow us regularly and then you would know…ahem…Anyhoo…

Jayman wrote upon our award-winning website yesterday after our blog vacation of sorts, and I am doing so today.

I was going to cover what I did on my summer vacation, but when I heard that the RNC selected Cleveland, Ohio as the site for its 2016 GOP Presidential Convention, I along with Dr. Phil, was stupefied!!

My first thought, was that Republicans want to hold their Presidential candidate’s send-off within a city that has been shrinking in size for years and simply meanders and sprawls with no direction nor effectiveness.

However, I said to myself…“Self?…There has to be some type of mastery behind this choice.”  And I think I know what it is, and it is two words…

Silent Cal.

You see, recently the Republican Party, especially the tea party wing of the GOP, has become enamored with Calvin Coolidge.  He was a hands-off, free market kinda guy, who unwittingly lead America through some good times after Warren Harding had fucked a nation…And by fucked a nation?

I’m not talking about Harding’s role in the Teapot Dome Scandal; I am saying that Harding had sex with every damn woman in America.  Impressive…but not helpful.  Anyhoo…

Calvin Coolidge was the one who said, “the chief business of the American people is business.” Republicans admire him for that, and recently, a president who had been obscure for the most part, has become the idol and darling of the far right portion of the GOP.

Why do I mention Calvin Coolidge when after all, I began this post about the pick of Cleveland being the city to hold the 2016 GOP Republican Convention?

Because in 1924, the Republican party hosted their convention in Cleveland, Ohio.  Calvin Coolidge was its nominee.  And I’m telling you, the GOP in Cleveland in 2016 is going to be all over Calvin Coolidge like Warren Harding was all over Carrie Phillips.

I only hope that the GOP delegates take a grand tour of Cleveland while they are there…Perhaps Ted Cruz and John Cornyn could take a stroll down U.S. 42 West, and hear the colored girls go,"do-doo-doo do-dah do."

Maybe Lindsey Graham could get and give a big bear hug from and to Chief Wahoo.

And dammit….perhaps John McCain could sing “Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World” at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The Tea Party wing of the GOP holds sway and I think that that is why the GOP picked Cleveland. They are going to harken back to the days of Calvin Coolidge.  But remember GOP, Ol’ Silent Cal also said this…

“Of course, the accumulation of wealth cannot be justified as the chief end of existence…But we are compelled to recognize it as a means to well-nigh every desirable achievement. So long as wealth is made the means and not the end, we need not greatly fear it…”

Money is good, but it should not be our existence, and it should be used to achieve greatness.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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Ted Cruz is a Canadian, but His Citizenship Can be Bought

Greetings my American friends, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper here for I’m With Stupid.

I am humbly honored to have been permitted by Jay and Matt to use their mildly popular and nearly worldwide forum so that I may pontificate calmly comment upon an almost serious matter that slightly concerns both of our above average nations.

As I, like my fellow Canadians, am a polite and mild-mannered person, I have ambivalent emotions about publicly writing on what I am about to say, but…

As this is an issue of tepid importance, I feel that I must.  I mean, if that’s okay with you guys.  If it is not, please turn away now and perhaps click onto the gentle and heartfelt reflections of IWS’ very own Paul Piatt.

It seems that U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) was born within the confines of our neatly, yet not at all ostentatious borders to a Cuban father and American mother.  While some in our country would consider him to be of, dare I say, rascally lineage, Sen. Cruz while an American, does have the official status of being a Canadian citizen as well.

Now as many of you Americans know, Sen. Cruz has his Cuban/Canadian eyes on running for President in 2016, so Mr. Cruz has stated gleefully (which is an adjective that Canadians are unaccustomed to) that in order to show his oneness of patriotism to America, he would renounce his Canadian citizenship.

While to us Canadians, that could be taken as a gentle slap to our collective cheek, we as Canadians, are all about and accepting of, individuality and the personal space and thoughts of others.

So, out of respect for Sen. Ted Cruz, his selfish ambitions, and his dislike for Canada, he is free to come to Canada, or any Canadian embassy, fill out the legal citizenship renunciation form, and pay the $100 fee.

However…

While we Canadians don’t like to rock the boat nor curry favors from others...in this case?  I am going to have to put some caveats on his renunciation prior to it going forward.

You see?

The Democrats in America know that Cruz has two, maybe three citizenships, and because of that, even the most tannin of tea partiers will not vote for him in the primaries.  However, Democrats would like nothing more than to see an unelectable Ted Cruz get the Republican nomination in 2016.

If the Democrats and the Obama administration want us to allow him to renounce his citizenship so that it bolsters his bona fides among Republican primary voters, we want a little sumpin sumpin in return before allowing him to step foot into our country or into one of our embassies in order to fill out the legal and requisite paperwork.

Here are but a few items that we are demanding, and they must be done by September 1…

In any and all official U.S. government documents we want to be referred to as, Exciting and Exotic Canada.

Just for Canadians, we want you to devalue your currency so that more Canadians are able to visit your strip clubs, steal your license plates, and pee on your front lawns.

We want an airtight dome installed over Detroit so that our citizens in Windsor don’t have to suffer from the stench and the heartache emanating from the Motorless City.

We will, by Parliamentary voice vote, revoke the Canadian citizenship of Justin Bieber, and grant him American citizenship, and you must honor it.

Your Congress will by proclamation in perpetuity, make September 1st, National When Canada Influenced the United States and Made Ted Cruz Its Bitch Day.

On American FM radio stations between 6 and 9 PM on Fridays, only songs by Rush and Triumph are allowed to be played.

That motherfuckin’ Ted Cruz is a crazy insane bastard, but to me and my fellow Canadians, he’s gold.

So let’s see some bling, America…The curling stone of renunciation is on your ice.

Sincerely,

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