Joni Ernst for U.S. Senate...An Open Invitation from IWS Radio

The IWS Radio Show, which as our vast and diverse worldwide audience knows, is THE Number One comedy
show on Blog Talk Radio.

How did we get there?  We got there by being funny as we talk about society, culture, the media, morons, and while less than in the past, politics as well.

We do like to make fun of politicians and if we write something or say something about a politician, it is typically because he or she, Democrat or Republican, recently convicted or charges pending, has said or done something hilariously stupid.

Today, my friends…I write this in order to exalt the greatness of one up and comer, Iowa State Senator Joni Ernst, who, should the fine Republican voters of Iowa elect her on June 6th to be the GOP candidate to replace retiring Sen. Tom Harkin, will be halfway to Capitol Hill.

Some of you may be familiar with St. Sen. Ernst from her campaign ad she recently ran featuring swine testicles and pig squealing:

We here at IWS Radio agree that any U.S. Senate candidate, especially one as photogenic as Joni Ernst, who invokes cutting off the balls of a pig and making him squeal in her campaign ad is, in a word…HOT!!

Because of this, we here at IWS Radio would like to open up our forum to St. Sen. Joni Ernst, and offer an open invitation to her to appear on our show anytime she would like.  We don’t do that for just anyone, especially politicians, but let me tell you, we are behind her so much, we can’t see straight.

We could cut to the chase and ask Future U.S. Senator Ernst about gay marriage.  Get her thoughts on the Second Amendment.  How does she feel about the legalization of marijuana?  And ask her, and this is crucial…

If she was elected to the U.S. Senate, would she rather have sex with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand...

Or?  Kelly Ayotte..?

And…As Joni Ernst has received many endorsements from Mitt Romney to Sarah Palin, she could also bring along to the show, a couple of others who actually hail from Iowa who have endorsed her.  Like…

Iowa Representative Megan Hess…How you doin’?

And…Story County Treasurer Renee Twedt…You can audit my books anytime you’d like.

The bottom line is, we here at IWS Radio would be pleased and proud to have Joni Ernst come on our show and let the world know why she should be the next U.S. Senator from the great state of Iowa.

So let me know Ernst Camp, June 6th is growing closer day by day and our audience grows bigger day by day.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Rejection, Heartache, Hot Sisters and the Final Four

Holaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yet another EPIC episode of IWS Radio this week y’all! We totally brought the funny for the whole 2 hours. Well, most of it anyway.  We…

Had a great Final Four discussion with both Slyder Balzcock and then from Dusty Sandman and Charles Barkley in IWS Air Action One HIGHHHHHH above North Texas

Nipsey Russell has some thoughts on the Championship Game …

The NCAA’s have been so exciting this year
All I can do is sit and cheer
Kentucky seems to have finally clicked
And UConn is gonna get their ass kicked 

Enjoyed some words of inspiration from Ma Tibbles

Relaxed to the soothing dulcet tones of Paula Piatt in the Poetry Corner

Told stories of rejection and heartache that will live in the deepest, darkest parts of our broken souls forever.

Had a great discussion about who’s the hotter sister. It started with Hallie vs Hillary Duff which we disagree on, but do agree that once they had spelled Haylie’s name with the “ie” that they should have spelled Hillary’s name with the “ie” also for consistency sake. Anyway, we then discussed the relative hotness of Brittney vs Jamie Lynn Spears, Paris vs Nicky Hilton and Ashlee vs Jessica Simpson as well as other hot sister duos.

Heard from the loveable and adorable Schmoop and the sad news she received this week.

Got brought back to our happy place as Bobby Kraft regaled us with some of the most popular and hilarious tweets on Favstar.

Got even happier when Phil Diller took the stage in Aberdeen and brought the funny.

And OH SO MUCH MORE!!!! Totally check that show out!

                               

Check Out Comedy Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

IWS Person of the Week...YOU, The IWS Radio Listener

Sometimes, there's a person or persons who make one’s life complete.  Who mean everything to said person whose life is being completed by another or others…or something like that.

And oft times, the person or persons who is and/or are completing one’s said life, is nobody famous, rich, or otherwise well-connected.

Sometimes?

Everyday people make a big difference in the lives of people and here at IWS Radio, that is how we feel about you; the people who read us everyday and listen to us every week.

And that is why, you are our IWS Persons of the Week.

When you listen to us on IWS Radio, we of course can’t see you, but we think of you listening to us and looking like this…

Or this…

And of course, most of the ladies listening to us, of which we have many, think of Jay and Matt as looking like this...

Or think of Jay and Matt doing the show like this...

Of course some of our more perverted and experimental listeners think of Jay and Matt looking like this...

To us here at IWS Radio, it matters not who you are or how you look, it is just nice to know that we are able to entertain you and perhaps put a smile or two upon your face every week.

So here's to you IWS Radio readers and listeners, you are all the IWS Radio Person's of the Week.

And dig it...

We will be broadcasting LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET, and once again we are a Blog Talk Radio Staff Pick of the Week!!

IKR?

Jay and Matt, along with Paul Piatt, Ma Tibbles, Dusty Sandman, and the Schmoop among others will be bringing on the heartache, because believe it or not, they have experienced rejection in their lives at some point.

They will also talk Scotland, NCAA Final Four action, and all the while take your calls at 661.244.9852.

To join the group therapy session LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET today,

Click HERE!!

Pussy Riot, Paulina Gretzky and MSJS

Jay rambles, Matt snoozes, You zone out.

Matt: Cheers!
Jay: Holaaaaaaaaaaa!
Matt: Guess what?
Jay: What.
Matt: That wasn’t a very enthusiastic “what” right there.
Jay: Yes it was. I care deeply.
Matt: I’m detecting sarcasm here.
Jay: You mean projecting.
Matt: No, I don’t think my news is exciting to you.
Jay: How will I know if you don’t tell me?
Matt: Hmmm … Okay I’ll tell you.
Jay: Today?
Matt: Yes … I’m going to have Thursdays off in addition to Sundays.
Jay: Oh that’s great.
Matt: See? You’re not excited.
Jay: I’m more excited than Schmoop.
Matt: Who isn’t???!!!
Jay: Me. But I am excited about one thing
Matt: What’s that?
Jay: Hillary Clinton hanging out with Pussy Riot
Matt: That’s hot

Jay: Oh hey! Paulina Gretzky is on the cover of Golf Digest
Matt: Who’s she?
Jay: Wayne Gretzky and Janet Jones’ daughter.
Matt: Does she play pro golf?
Jay: Nope
Matt: Is she hot?
Jay: You could say that.
Matt: Well okay then.
Jay: I guess so.
Matt: Some people probably have a problem with this, right?
Jay: Yup
Matt:  good
Jay: I guess
Matt: I’m outrage .. outraged … not outraged.
Jay: Maybe you can find some more by Sunday?
Matt: I’ll …. try
Jay: That’s all anyone can ask of you

Jay: So we’re all about Rejection, Heartache and Haggis this week?
Matt: yeah
Jay: Okay we can do this!
Matt: of …………….. course
Jay: Paul Piatt? Slyder? Schmoop?
Matt: uh huh
Jay: Bobby K? Dusty? Ma Tibbles?
Matt: mmm hmmm
Jay: Final Four talk?
Matt: uuuuuuuu
Jay: Maybe some hot rock ‘n roll from Aunt Jackie
Matt: ….
Jay: Beer Mine story or two?
Matt: ….
Jay: Scottish independence?
Matt: …
Jay: Anything else?
Matt: …
Jay: Matt?
Schmoop: Matty’s gone bye-bye
Jay: Is he breathing?
Schmoop: Probably
Jay: Well that’s good.
Schmoop: I guess
Jay: Okay then
Schmoop: I’m gonna shave his eyebrows
Jay: Good call

So, be sure to join us for Rejection, Heartache and Haggisthis Sunday at 12 Noon ET … make note of that … back on at 12 Noon ET!!!! On IWS RADIO!!

Boomer Esiason Is A Dick

Ya know?  I was thinking last night…

Had I accidentally and recently impregnated my friend Schmoop, and she was scheduled to deliver our out of wedlock child this Sunday during our IWS Radio Show….

I would have asked her…

“Jesus Christ, why the hell couldn't you have a had C-Section months ago, and pop the baby out before tonight‘s show?”

Okay…No I wouldn’t have asked her that.  You know why?

Because I am not former Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Boomer Esiason, that’s why.

It seems that New York Mets second basemen Daniel Murphy is, according to former Cincinnati Bengals quarterback and New York sports guy, Boomer Esiason, slacking in his duties to the team, because Mr. Murphy took some time off in order to be with his wife during and after the birth of their child.

As a man who otherwise seems nice, should be in the NFL Hall of Fame, and a fellow left-hander, let me say unto my sinistral brother…

“Have you lost your fucking mind?”

See?  I have always liked Boomer.  He always struck me as a good guy.  A smart guy.  A guy who gave unto others.  And?

He was a pretty damn good quarterback.  In addition to all that, I have always liked Boomer because he has struggled with difficulties with his own child, but now?

Not so much.

Boomer said the other day that Mets 2nd Baseman Dan Murphy let his team down by staying with his wife who had just given birth.

In fact Boomer said, …

“I would have scheduled a C-Section before the season started.”

And then Boomer followed his medical recommendation to the Murphy family, and Dan in particular, with…“Get your ass back to work.”

Here’s the thing Mr. Esiason…

Baseball players play 162 games, not a mere 16.  Baseball players have the luxury of taking games off.  Oh sure, as professional athletes, I know you are all paid well beyond your worth to society, and you are paid what you are worth to an owner and/or brand so, have at it, and I digress, but here’s the thing…

Boomer?  Maybe Daniel Murphy likes his wife so much, that he wanted to spend some time with her and his newborn.  Maybe Daniel Murphy likes his family a bit more than baseball.

Y’know?

Maybe he would just like a couple of days home with his wife and kid whom he won’t see for at least 82 days a year as opposed to 8.

I know that you are very smart, erstwhile, and quite the philanthropist, but really?

You think that a Major League Baseball player should refuse time off to be with his wife after the birth of their kid?

You know what that makes you?

A jerk.

Boomer mentioned that playing ball is what makes him money and that’s true. But, Murphy, if any good will play many more games and that is what makes him a NY Met.

More importantly, taking time away from his job during a birth, as many other regular Joes may or may not do, helps to make him a dad.

Boomer?  Some jobs aren’t 16 weeks a year, 162 games a year, or once in awhile.  Some jobs are everyday and 365 days a year, so two or three days in a lifetime of work, isn't that much.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My FacebookPage

Poetry, Rock n Roll and Rambling

Holaaaaaaaaaa! So on Monday I said there was something that I had been thinking about, but wasn’t ready to write about so I had to just ramble about nothing important well guess what I stopped thinking about that other subject so I got nothing again well not nothing but it means more rambling and you know what else yeah this should be straight stream of consciousness blogging not giving a shit about grammar or punctuation once again don’t you think so hell yeah bitches let’s do this!

I’m getting a late start on this because I had to take a maintenance request up to the office because my damn air conditioner isn’t blowing cold air it’s blowing tepid air it should be blowing cold though so I know what’s going on it’s about to run out of coolant it has to be refilled twice a year no matter how much or how little it gets used luckily it’s actually a very pleasant evening here in God’s Country so I’m not going to swelter or anything like that I’m sure they’ll be down here first thing in the morning to get that taken care of for me at least they better be of course if it’s storming they will have to wait cause you don’t wanna get struck by lightning or anything I guess I’m okay with that and I'll just swelter until it's safe for him to fix the thing.

You guys should totally check out Aunt Jackie’s cover of Jimi Hendrix’s “Fire!” Jaxxx is a HUGE Jimi fan and this kind of music is right up her alley I’d like to be right up her alley if you know what I mean did I say that out loud oops.

                           

Anyone out there in the Dallas/Ft Worth area who would like to call us on Sunday between 11 am 1 pm central time and tell us about what’s happening around the Final Four you guy ARE listening to IWS Radio aren’t you I mean what the hell else do you people have to do with your time that’s right nothing so there’s no excuse anyway if you live in or will be in North Texas around the Final Four we need a correspondent and if you do it we will introduce you to our close personal friend Scarlett Johansson.

Oh hey did you know that April is National Poetry Month well hell yes it is that means there should be lots and lots of poetry on this blog like maybe a poem every single day you know Matt-Man is actually pretty good at that poetry shit when he wants to be I’m not a skilled poet but it’s fun to try sometimes oh hey I should do that right now shouldn’t I of course I do poetry under my pseudonym Jameson Jay

The Struggle …

Sitting in front of my computer trying to write
I feel the cool breeze whistling through the night
I think of A/C units, car batteries and computer fans
All needing work in such a short span
What else could possibly go wrong
My life is playing out like a country music song
It’s always just one thing after another
Life is such a bother
This is why I’m never at ease
Even if these things do usually happen in threes
Those rules never apply to my life
Every day is like getting stabbed with a knife

- Jameson Jay

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Friend me on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter

Apologies Are Being Ordered

Cheeeeeers and a Happy Hump Day to you all.

Yesterday on the IWS Radio website, Jayman, while a celebrated and internationally renown media personality, shed his stardom and called upon the strength of his own innate humility and apologized to a few folks.

His post titled, Apologies Are in Order,  inspires me today to post something similar.

As far as I am concerned, apologies are in order in my life as well, and let me tell ya, I have a list of a few people who need to be apologizing to ME!!

Time Warner Cable…The little bit of TV that I do watch happens to take place during the morning cable news shows, and for the past two weeks, you have paid to run your stupid, insidious, and unfunny, something old, something new wedding day hi-speed internet ad featuring Bill Cowher.

It runs at every God Damn break!!  Stop It!!  Just. Stop. It, and…apologize to me this second.

The Weather Channel…You already pissed me off by hiring yet another non-meteorologist in Sam Champion, but do you have to piss me off further by running an ad for his new show while I am waiting for My Local on the 8’s?

Why the hell are you running ads for his show during his show!!?  So the people watching his show won’t forget?  That’s fucking stupid, and you need to apologize to me…Now.

Beer Mine Beth…Yep.  Our new hire at the Beer Mine owes me an apology.  A huge one.  She went on vacation during Spring Break of Bagwine City Schools.  Yesterday, I saw more former Ohio Dept. of Rehab and Corrections inmates (i.e. parents) driving through with future Ohio Dept. of Rehab and Corrections inmates (i.e. their children) than I ever have in one day.

Nothing like spending a day waiting on a carload of kids who were gestated on a diet of amniotic fluid, cheap vodka, and meth trying to decide as to which kind of potato chips they would like!!

Jesus!! Take Me Now!!

Bill Pence…Mr. Pence is the owner of the soon to be defunct Corporate Imagemakers/PenceOhio Corporation and he laid-off Schmoop back in December.  Couldn't he have kept her on, and found something for her to do from like 8 A.M-11 A.M., five days a week?

Don’t get me wrong…I love the Schmoopster with all my heart, but I really miss that quiet morning time.  No talking.  No noise.  Simply me and my thoughts saying to one and other…“Ahhhhhhhhhhh.”  Yeah that dickhead needs to tell me that he is sorry for his actions.

The Two People on Facebook Who Recently Unfriended Me…I would like an apology post haste from you two ass clowns.  You know why?  I have no idea who unfriended me nor what I did.  I would much prefer that if a person unfriends me, that they would let me know it was he or she and why they did it.

In fact…That gives me a great idea.

Facebook should set it up that when a person unfriends another, it shows up on the unfriended person’s Facebook page, with the exact cause of the unfriending for all the world to see.

Ha.  That would be awesome!!

I am going to pass my idea along to Mark Zuckerberg and see if he runs with it.  If he doesn't?

That short-sighted billionaire will owe me an apology as well, because my idea is fucking brilliant!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page (and if you go there, let me know why you are unfriending me)