Rejection, Heartache, Hot Sisters and the Final Four

Holaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yet another EPIC episode of IWS Radio this week y’all! We totally brought the funny for the whole 2 hours. Well, most of it anyway.  We…

Had a great Final Four discussion with both Slyder Balzcock and then from Dusty Sandman and Charles Barkley in IWS Air Action One HIGHHHHHH above North Texas

Nipsey Russell has some thoughts on the Championship Game …

The NCAA’s have been so exciting this year
All I can do is sit and cheer
Kentucky seems to have finally clicked
And UConn is gonna get their ass kicked 

Enjoyed some words of inspiration from Ma Tibbles

Relaxed to the soothing dulcet tones of Paula Piatt in the Poetry Corner

Told stories of rejection and heartache that will live in the deepest, darkest parts of our broken souls forever.

Had a great discussion about who’s the hotter sister. It started with Hallie vs Hillary Duff which we disagree on, but do agree that once they had spelled Haylie’s name with the “ie” that they should have spelled Hillary’s name with the “ie” also for consistency sake. Anyway, we then discussed the relative hotness of Brittney vs Jamie Lynn Spears, Paris vs Nicky Hilton and Ashlee vs Jessica Simpson as well as other hot sister duos.

Heard from the loveable and adorable Schmoop and the sad news she received this week.

Got brought back to our happy place as Bobby Kraft regaled us with some of the most popular and hilarious tweets on Favstar.

Got even happier when Phil Diller took the stage in Aberdeen and brought the funny.

And OH SO MUCH MORE!!!! Totally check that show out!

                               

Check Out Comedy Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

Stream of Haikuciousness...When Matt-Man Develops His Spontaneous Asian Side

Yesterday on the IWS website, Jayman posted an exquisitely done stream of consciousness post.  I mean…

It was so damn well done, that while the tears of James Joyce were falling from Heaven, Jayman was receiving a call from the Ted Cruz organization begging Jayman to be their filibuster writer from here on out.

So?  I thought I’d do a little stream of consciousness writing myself, however…

Just to mix it up a little, I thought I’d stream my consciousness in the form of haikus.

So here ya go, Matt-Man’s Stream of Haikusciousness…

This winter drags on
Will it end anytime soon?
I seriously doubt it.

This Steel Reserve
Is quite tasty and so warm,
Fuck Mother Nature.

I’m off this Sunday
Facebook friends better beware,
Ima gonna drink.

Sausage, toast, and eggs
That sounds incredibly good.
So much effort though.

I just lit a smoke
I take a deep drag, and smile
Newport Reds taste swell.

Lent is almost here
I need to give up something
Bread and pasta…Gone!!

My zipper is down
I find that extremely odd
Hands were typing keys.

I bet Kate Upton
Is really awful in bed
Not allowed to bite and mar her picture perfect tits.

My last Kate haiku
Did not follow haiku rules
Oh well…suck it, Kate.

Chicken nuggets, not eggs

eggs?

Nuggets are much less trouble.
Eggs may have to sit.

I just touched my dick.
No, I didn’t have an itch
I just wanted to.

Why do people judge?
Schmoop is sound asleep in bed
And I am horny.

Thank you, and have a great Thursday…I shall spend mine saying “5-7-5” to myself.

Today’s drawer at the Beer Mine is gonna be so fucked up.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Phone Sex Babes are our Person(s) of the Week!

In honor of our "Candice the Phone Sex Girl" show that airs LIVE at 12 Noon ET today, here are some really HAWT babes who just love to talk to Matt-Man and Jayman on the phone ...

1. Megan Fox

2. Kate Upton

3. Kerry Washington

4. Sofia Vergara

5. Arianna Huffington

That's some serious phone sex hotness right there! Remember to join us at 12 Noon ET today to learn all about the phone sex industry!

Facebook Confirms...Matt-Man Isn't Perfect!!

“You're pretty arrogant. And self important….Other than that, you're okay.”

Haaaaaaaaappy Friday Folks!!

Matt-Man here breaking it all down for ya on the IWS Radio website, and let me tell ya, that first quote is hurtful…

However, for the most part, most of you loveable bastards and bastardesses are quite nice.

I posted on my Facebook page yesterday…

“What don’t you like about me?”

And you know what?

While I was awaiting a tsunami of hate and disregard for the fact that I am indeed a caring person, you know what I got..?

“Matt doesn’t have feelings….He’s rude and has a potty mouth.”

Let me tell you my radio compatriot and friend, I have cared often and I have told you how I care about many people during our private calls…maybe not in the way they would like me to, nor using the words that most would choose, but I CARE!!

And then there is Dana…Love the Dana.  She said…

(1) I don't like that you don't take care of yourself. You've got a son who doesn't have a fighting chance if you aren't around to guide him, and
(2) You're a button pusher. When you find someone's buttons, you push and push and PUSH.

The best thing about Dana’s comment?  She is an accountant, and she numbered her grievances.  That it in itself is nice and lends an air of consistency, and number two, consistency is HOT!!

And actually, Number Three?  Dana, was actually serious.  I like that.  And…

She’s absolutely correct.

If a person says and/or does something with which I don’t agree, I will push and push until they expose themselves to be complete morons.

Is that being, “arrogant?”

I don’t fucking think so, and as far as being self-important?  If that’s the case, I wouldn’t have cow-towed to my wife all of these years up until now, in order to keep the peace for my son.

Eh, actually the asking of the “what do you hate about me” question was worth more to me than the, “”what do you like about me” question.

It seems that praise from friends, while far more grand, is personally less hurtful and truthful than negative personal critiques.

I like negative critiques.  It keeps me edgy.  And the truth is…

I am both Matt-Man, and just plain Matt.

Matt-Man is Dean Martin and Buddy Acapella rolled into one, while Matt is a poet wannabe named Paul Piatt.

All the while, Schmoop says…"Whatever…can I just have some sleep.?”

My point is…AND YES I AM MAKING A POINT!!

Backdoor guests are best, Tumblr guest are whatever, Facebook friends are awesome, but seriously?

Real friends ,whether they hate you or love you, no matter from where they came, are awesome…and one other thing, so am I.

I am awesome.

And, I will leave you with that.

Matt-Man

Cheeeeeeeeers!!

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Rush Limbaugh Children's Book Author

Hola ya’ll! Right-wing windbag, philanderer and drug addict Rush Limbaugh is now a children’s book author and I couldn’t possibly be more excited! In fact, IWS World Media has a little sneak peek of some of the wrongs Rush tries to right in his book. Check ‘em out …

- In the 1600’s large numbers of black people from Africa immigrated to the US to work on plantations and farms in the south. The work was hard and the hours were long but it was gratifying for them and the conditions were wayyyyyyyy better than back in Africa.

- The Civil War, more precisely the War of Northern Aggression had absolutely nothing to do with slavery. It was all about state’s rights, privacy and the Confederate States defense of free enterprise.

- Ronald Reagan was the only president to ever cut taxes and eliminate the deficit while never raising a single tax in his eight years in office.

- Child labor laws passed by liberals have deprived children of the opportunity to earn money of their own and made them dependent upon the government when they become adults.

- Despite what the liberal media tells us, America won smashing victories in the War of 1812, Korea and Vietnam.

- Kate Upton was created in a supermodel laboratory located deep underground in rural Montana.

- Martin Luther King Jr. was a republican who opposed the expansion of social programs like Social Security and would NEVER have supported Obamacare or any form of universal health insurance.

- FDR is generally considered one of the worst presidents in American history.

- George W Bush often times was depicted as inarticulate or even not very intelligent because he was so much smarter than everybody else and no one in the media would admit it.

- There is actually no such thing as a concussion. It’s something that liberals made up to try and destroy the game of football and the NLF because the NFL is pro-America.

- Al Gore came up with the idea of Global Warming to justify is desire for 75% corporate tax rates and 75% income tax rates on middle class Americans to use on social programs for the lazy unproductive people (blacks, Hispanics).

- FDR knew the Japanese were about to attack Pearl Harbor but did nothing about it because he knew it would draw American into WWII.

- LBJ had JFK killed.

- 99.92% of all murders in America are committed by black people.

- The Obama administration threatened the NFL with all kinds of legal action if the Patriots didn’t cut Tim Tebow.

- White people are on the receiving end of racism five times more often than blacks and Hispanics combined.

- Obama directed the CIA to hire James Holmes to shoot up a theater in Colorado and Adam Lanza to shoot up a grade school in Connecticut to help push gun control laws and confiscate American’s guns.

- Bill Clinton had Vince Foster murdered by the CIA because Vince was having an affair with Hillary.

- The republicans have spent the last 50 years fighting to expand the school lunch programs and increase funding for children’s healthcare, but democrats stopped them by. The dems said they would only agree to those things if republicans agreed to allow child molesters be teachers.

- President Obama doesn’t care about white people.

As you can see, Rushbo is ready to bring the truth to our children in hopes that American will finally become the great country we all know she can be!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

Matt Said, Jay Said 44

Matt blahs, Jay blahs, You sigh.

Matt: Hey
Jay: Hey
Matt: What’s up?
Jay: Nothing much.
Matt: Cool.
Jay: U?
Matt: Same.
Jay: Cool.
Matt: Dinner?
Jay: Chicken, noodles and green beans.
Matt: Yummy.
Jay: U?
Matt: Rally’s
Jay: Nice.
Matt: What kind of green beans?
Jay: French Cut.
Matt: You fancy mofo you!
Jay: Hell yeah! I’m sophisticated.
Matt: I keep forgetting that.
Jay: Well, I don’t like to show off too much.
Matt: Good plan.
Jay: It’s like wearing a fancy suit in Memphis.
Matt: Pretty damn risky.
Jay: Damn right man.
Matt: You are a very careful man.
Jay: Gotta be these days.
Matt: People be crazy, yo!
Jay: True dat.

Jay: Hey, the Sexy Sexting Show is #2!
Matt: That’s hot.
Jay: Did it result in any extra sexting for you?
Matt: Nope.
Jay: That’s too bad.
Matt: U?
Jay: Fuck no.
Matt: Awwwww
Jay: IKNOWRIGHT?!
Matt: Well that wasn’t the purpose of the show.
Jay: Yeah, I kno …. Wait. It wasn’t?
Matt: Noooooooooo! It was to entertain the masses.
Jay: A handful of them at a time.
Matt: Exactly!
Jay: Well then. We were successful!
Matt: Damn right we were!
Jay: That sounds weird.
Matt: What does?
Jay: “We. Were. Successful.”
Matt: Oh wow! It does.

Jay: So this week?
Matt: A surprise birthday party for President Obama!
Jay: Oh that’s brilliant.
Matt: IKR? He needs a pick-me-up anyway.
Jay: Our entire staff can record birthday messages.
Matt: Oh hell yes!
Jay: A Paul Piatt w/ a special birthday poem?
Matt: You know he has some beautiful poems for that.
Jay: Maybe some celebrities will chime in too!
Matt: And former presidents!
Jay: And some world leaders!
Matt: And “what will Obama wish for?” thoughts.
Jay: And presents we and others might give him.
Matt: And birthday party ideas.
Jay: Oh hell yeah!
Matt: Cause for us, life is a party.
Jay: It sure as hell is!
Matt: Sunday is also Coast Guard Day!
Jay: We’re on it!
Matt: And Revolution Day in Burkina Faso!
Jay: The most important day of the year!
Matt: I can’t fucking wait!
Jay: Me either!
Matt: Better start early on all those audios.
Jay: Oh shit. There will be tons of ‘em!
Matt: That’s hot.
Jay: Very.

So, be sure to join our surprise Happy Birther-Day President Obama show on Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!!