Nebraska, Santa Claus and Homeless Scott Stapp

Wooooo-Weeeeeee! What a show this week on IWS Radio! What made it special was there was absolutely no show prep whatsoever. Matt and Jay knew what the topic would be, but that was it. Needless to say Matt-Man and Jayman’s professionalism and raw talent won out and the end result was yet another EPIC show! What did they talk about? Welllllllll …..

Jay talked about some of the highlights of his annual Thanksgiving trip to Omaha, Nebraska

Things got off to a slow start with shortages of extra crispy chicken, slaw, ham and bourbon made in Iowa.

Then things improved dramatically with trips to local brew pubs, Thanksgiving dinner, apple pie and the assembling of storage units.

Matt-Man had a fried bologna sandwich.

The drive home from Nebraska was brutal with heavy traffic and debris in the road.

Schmoop made delicious Thanksgiving lasagna.

Jay found out about “no boil” noodles this week. Matt is skeptical.

Black Friday is stupid and needs to stop.

Arkansas and Notre Dame both lost, but there was a wide difference between the two teams effort and attitude at the end of the season.

Nobody likes Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly. Not even his own players.

Matt and Jay made fun of a homeless guy. Sure, it was Scott Stapp, but still they made fun of a homeless guy.

Took sides in the War on Christmas.

Made fun of Gretchen Carlson who got into Stanford.

Took a little trip down memory lane and heard from Kim Frageelay.

Heard from Bobby Kraft and his thoughts on the Holidays.

Brought on Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf to preview the Grey Cup and announce our support for the Hamilton Tiger-Cats!

And soooooooooooooo much more! Definitely check it out!

                               

Vacation Is Over...Ammo Up Christians; It's The War on Christmas 2014

Cheers and Hola.  We here at IWS Radio hope that all of you enjoyed your Thanksgiving week as much as we did.  As you can tell, or maybe not, since you don’t visit the website that often, that Jay and Matt were pretty much off this week.  In fact…

They didn't even do an IWS Radio Show last week.  Well…let me tell you.  They are back tomorrow…

WITH A VENGEANCE!!

Even Rolling Stone magazine has something to say about tomorrow’s IWS Radio Show:

“Recently thankful Americans are cursing all of their Thanksgiving leftovers. Hopeful bargain hunters spent Black Friday cursing each other, and in Ferguson, MO., people are cursing their pizza cravings after burning down their only Little Caesar’s. People are angry man; they’re really angry, and it all stems from a common thread…

People are once again hating on the Holy Baby Jesus and his upcoming birthday, so…

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio players recap the recent Thanksgiving holiday, analyze the current and ongoing outbursts of anger, and kickoff the 2014 War on Christmas. No nativity scene is safe from secularists and any bell ringer or Wal*Mart greeter who utters Happy Holidays will be promptly pummeled by a soldier of Christ.  

Jay and Matt try to make sense of it all, rein in the madness, and take your phone calls at 661.244.9852 as IWS Radio braces itself and America for the 2014 War on Christmas.”

High praise indeed coming from a secularist, rock ’n’ roll publication. And, well…We are comfortable with that.

So…

Join IWS Radio tomorrow LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as Jay and Matt recap recent events and suit up, arm up, and prepare for the War On Christmas 2014.

To listen LIVE click HERE!!

My Name Is Thanksgiving...Remember Me?

Hi all…Thanksgiving here for I’m With Stupid. Yeah…That’s right, I’m Thanksgiving.

An actual entity called Thanksgiving, talking to you from the pages of I'm With Stupid. Well, not an actual entity…perhaps more of a spiritual entity. And sadly…

Be I spiritual, or corporeal, an entity that has now grown old and hackneyed in the eyes, minds, and souls of many Americans.

I used to matter. Yep, it’s true.

Hell, for nearly 150 years I was a big deal. Ever since Lincoln called for a national day of Thanksgiving, families across America would once a year, gather ‘round their tables, break bread, repair old friendships, and once in awhile, begin new ones.

It was a day that the entire nation took a deep breath, reflected on its heritage, and showed appreciation for those who through immigration, religious persecution, or just plain luck, ultimately allowed those of us here today, to enjoy the fruits of this nation.

And now?

I Thanksgiving, have become but an oxymoron in that I am both an afterthought and noted precursor to the commercial hegemony that is Christmas.

I deserve more than that.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the courage of those who offered America her chance at greatness when they landed on Plymouth Rock and elsewhere, in hopes of building a brighter future in the face of hunger, sickness, and more than a few pissed off Indians.

And…while it’s true that July 4, 1776 marks the birth of this great nation and we celebrate it magnanimously, the stubborn and fertile seed that was planted in order to make that happen, was sown when the brave and oppressed from Europe landed here some 150 years prior to that.

And on Thanksgivings prior, we as a nation, as neighborhoods, and as families, would celebrate the struggles of the Pilgrims and the arduous task of colonizing this country.

We would give thanks to those gone before us and more importantly to those with us, because just as the Pilgrims had to rely upon each other, we would recognize the fact that we rely upon our families and friends as well.

And then, just somewhat recently…the national camaraderie muted, the familial bonds loosened, and the hour glass speed at which we celebrated Thanksgiving and each other, turned into the break neck pace of a stopwatch counting down to the Christmas season.

I today, am but a shell of my former self. I get six hours tops.

People eat at one or so, make small talk, exchange Christmas wish lists, and then, after a post-tryptophan nap, hit the stores for Black Friday sales, in the name of celebrating Jesus, the Maccabees, and whomever or whatever.

I today, in this world of 24/7 Cable News, big box store sales, and instant messaging, have become an anachronism…nothing more than a Norman Rockwell painting that embodies the “quaint” times which define, Americana.

I’m saddened, but have a word or two of hope for you on the day which honors me…

For those of you who are taking the time to celebrate Thanksgiving with friends and family, God bless you, and may you delight in the warmth of good food, good wine, and good company for hours upon end.

For those of you who look at me but nothing more than a prologue to Christmas, God bless you as well and I hope you soon rediscover what Cicero said many centuries ago:

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.” 

Sincerely,

Thanksgiving

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This Thanksgiving, Matt-Man Is Giving Til' It Hurts

With less than a week before America gluttonously celebrates Thanksgiving with food, wine, and Black
Friday shopping specials, I thought it would be nice to take time and reflect on the word Thanksgiving itself…Specifically, the last half of said word.

Giving.

While it is nice that at this time of year people trumpet with clarion call for what they are thankful, it would be nice to hear more from the trumpeting brass section of life about what people are doing in the matter of giving.

I being a humble man, hate to broadcast the many nice things I have done for others, but I feel perhaps it is time to exploit relate a couple of incidences of my generosity that I have shown recently in order to give people a push to do the same in their lives.

Recently, Jayman approached me and asked if we could not do a show this Sunday, November 23rd.  He said that he needed to spend quality time with his family in honor of Thanksgiving.  I said, “Of course, family comes first.”  However…

When Blog Talk Radio CEO Alan Levy was informed about us not doing this Sunday’s show, he with gnashing of the teeth and a less than competent posse of knife-wielding tech ninjas surrounding him said…

“You will surely do a show, or…you will surely die.”

Jayman along with a steel-spined and giving Matt-Man by his side, stood resolute…

Needless to say, we are still on Blog Talk Radio, but are not doing a show this Sunday.  And then?

The Beer Mine has a relatively new employee.  Beer Mine Beth has been with us for some seven months now and has kids…kids who desperately want, need, and hope to spend the blessed day of Thanksgiving with their mama, but…there was problem.

The Beer Mine (conveniently located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett Rd. in Bagwine, OH.) is open on Thanksgiving and Beth typically works on Thursdays.  Yours truly could not bear to envision her precious little ones spending Thanksgiving Day wiping away the tears, longing to be held in a maternal grasp while foraging on cold Beefaroni, so…

I told Beer Mine Beth that I would work Thanksgiving Day for her.  Sure I know…I could be spending it at home with my family, but, well…my family understands that the Welcome Mat laid upon the stoop of my heart and good-nature is one that reads:  “Wipe your troubles from off your feet; and at my giving table, please have a seat.”

Sure, it’s a pretty large welcome mat that contains that message, but let me tell you…the front porch of my heart is big enough to display it.

And well…That’s what I am all about this Thanksgiving...giving.  In fact, while some folks call me Matt-Man, some call me Matt, and others even call me Matty.  For all of the giving that I have been giving this Thanksgiving, I want to be known as the Amattican Red Cross.

Please follow my Christ-Like example, and as always…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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There's No Shortage of Bullshit

Holaaaaaaa lovers of the finer things in life! Have you guys heard about the panic over the looming chocolate shortage? OMG!!! I call bullshit on this. I think this is just a way for Big Chocolate to justify raising their prices. They know they can’t do that without criticism and having to deal with huge crowds of PMSing women protesting outside their offices. So what did they do? They got some corporate shill who doesn't eat chocolate to write a fake story about climate change, dry weather in Africa, Ebola, rapidly rising demand in China (blaming China is always a great move) and other shit to give them cover to raise prices.  It’s pretty outrageous if you ask me.

This isn’t the first time an industry has manufactured a fake shortage to raise prices. Big Bacon did it just a couple of years.  Bacon is ridiculously expensive now. Did that slow anyone down? Hell no! We’re still eating bacon and there is no shortage. BTW, it’s not my style to go all “conspiracy theory guy” on y’all, but I do have a theory about who is to blame for this. Yup, none other than Kevin Bacon himself! Quit watching his movies and TV shows and just let him fade away and pork prices will fall back to normal.

And let’s not forget about the big, fat, fake “hops shortage” Big Beer has been alleging the last few years. PU-LEEEEEEZE!!! People have been drinking the hell outta beer ever since there were Vikings and the Irish. Now, all of the sudden like in 2014 there’s this mysterious beer shortage? This is the biggest load of hooey I’ve ever heard of. And, just who could possibly be to blame for THIS so-called shortage???

Uh … Well … Heh …. Uh … It’s still bullshit. Probably. *puts hands in pockets* *walks away while looking at the sky and whistling*

Anyhoodle, there is one area that really is experiencing a shortage: Fine Art. Most of the greatest pieces of art have been bought up by collectors, rich people with more money than sense and museums. Heck, just this last week a one-of-a-kind piece of truly stunning art was listed as up for auction at Sotheby’s. Take a look at this thing! Isn’t it beautiful? Bidding starts at $1,475,923.36 AMERICAN!

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Jay and Matt Killed It Yesterday

Oh sure, counting today Thanksgiving is still days away, but let me tell you…

Yesterday on IWS Radio?  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players were cooking the turkey, praising the praises of others, and joyfully blessing everyone and everything that has made their lives better this year.

After friendly opening banter that included talk about NCAA basketball and football, Jay and Matt begged dared people to call-in and discuss how much they hated green bean casserole.  Nobody dared to challenge these two lovers of the aforementioned dish on this issue.

Sports Director Slyder Balzcock chimed in on how he was thankful for having Jayman as a friend and hoped that his thankfulness would turn into a free steak dinner.

Alarmist Weatherman was thankful for a few gadgets while Bobby Kraft listed a myriad of things for which he is grateful.  On the surface, many of these things seemed unseemly, but after further review, they were even more unseemly than originally thought.

The lovely Miss Jamie Mapleleaf provided tips to all Americans on how to better improve and Canadianize their Thanksgiving celebration.

Mr. Vague may or may have not explained all of the reasons as to why he is thankful, yet Beer Mine Beth definitely made her feelings known as we called her LIVE at the Beer Mine.

Schmoop was thankful for Matt, Jay and IWS Radio...we think.

Dusty, Joshua, KleeShay, Martin, The Rev, and Drew Peacock proclaimed Thanksgiving to be a holiday of peace…or something.

Guy Ahnyurdyck and Stubby Stonehenge looked at Thanksgiving as a time to get sloppy drunk as they discussed willy-willies.

All in all it was a good time as Jay and Matt celebrated their friends, family, and neighbors and took a multitude of congratulatory phone calls as they celebrated peace on earth and all that shit.

If you missed yesterday’s show LIVE, you can always catch it below in archives, so please do.  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team would be very thankful that you did…

Bret Bielema and The Arkansas Razorbacks are the IWS Person of the Week!

IWS is PROUD to announce that our Person of the Week for this week is University of Arkansas head football coach Bret Bielema and his Arkansas Razorbacks!

Bret Bielema is brash ...

Bret Bielema is fashionable...

Bret Bielema is sexy as hell...

Well, not as sexy as his wife Jen ....

And Bret Bielema is a winner baby!

Hell yeah! Woo Pig Sooie!


Speaking of winners, and we were, don't forget to listen to Matt and Jay on "Thanksgiving 2014: A Cornucopia of Comedy" on IWS Radio Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!!!

Jay and Matt Are Talking Turkey and Shoving the Stuffing

It’s almost Thanksgiving and what better way to prepare for our nation’s feast than to talk turkey and gobble up some laughs with Jay and Matt on the IWS Radio Show?

Tomorrow LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET, Jay and Matt will discuss Thanksgiving memories, pumpkin flavor overkill, and most importantly how to deal with drunk and/or judgmental family members who enjoy bringing others to tears during the holiday gatherings.

Jay and Matt will have the great debate…Green Bean Casserole, disgusting trash or delectable treasure?

All hands will be on deck as Bobby Kraft, Guy Ahnyurdyck, Drew Peacock, Rev. Moneymaker, Slyder Balzcock and the rest of IWS team talk about what they are thankful for while Joey Goodbar and Buddy Acapella sing the sounds of Thanksgiving.

All of that plus YOUR phone calls as IWS Radio kicks off the holiday season by plucking the birds, shoving the stuffing, and serving up the laughs as America celebrates Thanksgiving 2014.

Join us LIVE TOMORROW from Noon-2 PM ET as IWS Radio celebrates Thanksgiving with our Thanksgiving 2014: A Cornucopia of Comedy edition.

To listen LIVE (or later in archives) click HERE!! 

Jayman is so Damn Unpredictable

Holaaaaaaaaaaa y’all! You know, I bet you guys think you can predict what I’m doing just about every hour the day. You probably think you can predict what I’m eating for dinner or breakfast or what I’m drinking each night. Well, sometimes you can, but every once in a while I like to throw you guys a curveball. Heck, sometimes I’m down right unpredictable.

Just this morning Matt-Man  replied to my mentioning that I had a significant amount of sinus drainage by saying “Don’t get any on your Pop Tarts.” See? Matt thought he could confidently predict that I would be having Frosted Chocolate Pop Tarts for breakfast. Well, he was WRONNNNNNNG! I had cinnamon raisin toast! Take that!

So, I started thinking about other times people have gotten overconfident in trying to predict my actions. Like, whose music do you think I’m listening to while writing this? Go on … guess! Miley Cyrus? Nope. Taylor Swift? Noooooooooo. CCR? Queen? Elvis? The Ramones? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Oh so very wrong! I’m cranking some Nicki Minaj! Didn’t see that coming at all, did you?

“And when I pop dat pussy, I pop it on his Suzuki
I pop it so crazy cookie
I’m rockin them daisy dukies (oh)

I be shakin it for daddy, He want more more more
Got that Bently, Got that Caddy, And theyre all 4 door
If I pull him by the collar, Boy he gonna holla
I be shakin it for daddy, He want more more more”

Awwwww yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Love that girl! What a sweetheart.  Even when she does use some unfortunate Nazi imagery in her videos.

So what else have we got? Oh here’s a good one. Everyone knows that Wednesday night is hamburger night at Chez Jay’s. Well, what I like to do is cruise along having a hamburger patty and mashed taters and lull everyone into a false sense of security and when they ask me how my patty and mashed taters where I’ll say “HA! Got ya! I had steak sandwich and fries!” BOO-YAAAAAAAAA!

And I bet you thought I would just love Steel Reserve Spiked Punch didn’t you? Welllllll…..

                                 

I bet you think that while I was out and about doing important things today I was yelling at Colin Cowherd who was on ESPN Radio saying stupid stuff. Once again, you are so very wrong. The radio in my car crapped out so I wasn’t listening to anything. TAKE THAT! You can’t figure me out! You should just quit trying. What song was I singing to myself since I didn’t have a radio? I bet you’ll NEVER get this one.

Give up? Of course you do! I was singing …

“I love you oh so madly

I need your love so badly

But I don't stand a

Ghost of a chance with you

I thought at last I had found you

But other arms surround you

And I don't stand a

Ghost of a chance with you”

Yeah, I’m one eclectic dude! You just never know what I’ll be up to. Heck you probably think that when I got my haircut today I just had the barber cut it exactly the same way I’ve been getting it done since I cut the mullet in high school, don’t you? Well … uh …. Okay, you got me on that one. I do have a fine head of hair though.

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Unsung Guts, Unsung Glory

As today is Veteran’s Day in the United States, I decided against offering the empty and obligatory, “Thank You for Your Service.”, bullshit.

Instead, I thought that I would go that meaningful extra mile in order to research and honor some Veterans who do not get the accolades that they deserve.

Corporal Randolph Agarn: From 1865 until 1867 Cpl. Agarn was an integral part in defending the U.S. Army base, Fort Courage located in Kansas.

Agarn was looked upon as a dimwitted stooge, but this was merely a ruse. He was skilled in the art of being a confidence man. Along with Sergeant O’Rourke, he managed to keep the feared Hekawi Indian tribe peaceful.

Not only did Agarn keep the Hekawi tribe complacent by selling them whiskey, his introduction of fire water to the Hekawi spread among all Indian tribes eventually quashing the red menace into nothing more than groups of drunken people who have for generations lived in alcohol induced poverty and self-loathing.

Thank you for your service Cpl. Agarn!!

1st Lieutenant Larry King: Oh sure many of you know Larry King as a talk show legend on CNN, but…

How many of you knew that when 23 years old, Lt. King served alongside Gen. George Washington in the Continental Army during the American Revolution? It’s truuue.

From 1778 until the end of the war in 1781, Lt. Larry King was Gen. Washington’s Public Information Crier. His impeccable service was defined by his line delivered during the Battle of Yorktown when he screamed at the enemy lines:

“Lord Cornwallis, London, England…You are in the throes of defeat with Gen. Washington and the Marquis de Lafayette, go ahead!!”

Thank you for your service Lt. King!!

Capt. Merrill Stubing: Yes, the avuncular Capt. Stubing for years commanded the cruise ship, The Pacific Princess, but prior to that, during the Vietnam War, Stubing was at the helm of the navy destroyer, U.S.S. Aaron Spelling.

For years, he and his crew successfully patrolled the Caribbean making certain that Vietcong insurgents did not infiltrate the gulf ports of Texas, Louisiana, and Mississippi under the guise of being simple, refugee shrimpers.

Thank you for your service Capt. Stubing!!

Lastly…

Staff Sergeant Peter “Prank-Man” Powers: Sgt. Powers was a marginal, obnoxious, non-descript, soldier at best, but in 1991 during the first Iraq Gulf War, Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf personally tabbed him for a mission that gave the Allies a crucial edge.

The CIA had secured the direct phone number to Saddam Hussein’s Command and Control Center. Sgt. Powers was given the duty of continually tying up this Iraqi phone line with prank phone calls.

During the initial air invasion of Iraq, Powers prevented the Iraqis from ordering fighters to scramble and AA defenses to go up by calling the Command Center and goofing on them.

For a crucial one hour and sixteen minutes, Iraqi command center officers were unable to get their jets to scramble as an avalanche of American cruise missiles and warplanes approached, because they were too busy checking out Sgt. Powers' inquiry as to whether or not Mike Hunt was there.

Iraqi counter-attacks, re-routing of supplies, and orders to kill Kurds out of spite were unable to go through because Powers tied up the phone with such gems as:

Is this the person to whom I am speaking? Is your oasis running? I’m Reggie with the New York Times; could I interest you in a subscription? And of course…

Do you have Prince Albert Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti in a can?

Powers was a frickin’ genius and an unsung hero.

Thank you for your service Sgt. Powers.

Enjoy your Veterans Day, all. And please, don’t forget to check out the mattress sale at an authorized Serta dealer near you.

Cheers!!
Matt-Man

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Ranting, Eating and Drinking

It was another somewhat awkward yet epic episode of IWS Radio this week. Special guest Mr. Bum Wine Bob was a little later than usual so Matt and Jay attempted to fill time and then got bailed out by a couple of hawt callers! We …

Discussed our weeks and engaged in some witty banter.

Talked about the proper way to pronounce “Ohio.”

Gave a quick analysis of the week in college football and Auburns devastating loss to Texas A&M.

The lovely and talented Gnetch AKA: Little Miss Sunshine ranted about men catcalling women.

Analyzed the catcall video and agreed that we are quite outraged by the behavior of those men.

Got a call from our good friend Gail Koverman! She talked about Cleveland, Rock Concerts, Tippecanoe and her favorite fast food joints.

Gideon Foresight was on hand to tell a few horoscopes.

Bobby Kraft tried his hand at stand-up comedy and brought the crowd at The Gigglezone in Redneckville to their feet.

Jamie Mapleleaf called in to keep us company for a while.

And then Bum Wine Bob called in and told us all about the awesomeness of the Bum Wine Lifestyle!

And? So much more!

                               

IWS Person of the Week: Bum Wine Bob

Sometimes, in the course of human events, life can get a person down and leave him or her feeling blue, despondent, or…in need of a good head-thumpin’, liver cauterizing drunk, so…

Who better to help out those people in need than the man who will be our guest LIVE on the IWS Radio Show today, and our IWS Person of the Week, Bum Wine Bob…

The Bobcat (yes, he goes by many names) has devoted his life and his website bumwinebob.com to praising the medicinal and healing powers of much maligned wines and beers.  He knows that a Rose by any other name would smell or in this case, taste as sweet…

He is unafraid to take on the goodness that is Thunderbird knowing that in spite of its powerful side effects, he will the next morning, rise like a Phoenix from the ashes…

Bum Wine Bob has his softer side as well, as he occasionally will drink beverages from the chaff of the wheat rather than from the winded and withered grape of the vine…

For all the Bobcat does, we honor him as our IWS Person of the Week.  Here’s to you Bob…Long may your brown bag wave!!

For more of Bum Wine Bob, check out the IWS Radio Show LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players will be talking bum wine and fast food, because as we all know, nothing goes hand in hand better than a good drunk and greasy fast food.

Jay and Matt will be lighting up the tubes of the internet with laughter as they celebrate cheap eats, bad booze, and along with special guest Bum Wine Bob, take your phone calls at 661.244.9852.

So join us LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as IWS presents the Eat, Drink and Be Cheap Fast and Easy episode.

To Listen Live click HERE.

Fast Foods and Bum Wines

Matt and Jay are excited to welcome Bum Wine Bob from bumwinebob.com and @_bumwine on Twitter! Bob will be here to discuss the greatness that is bum wine. He'll tell the IWS Nation what he loves about bum wines, which are the best to drink on a regular basis and which bum wines go best with wich foods. Bob will also talk about what an important role bum wine can play in the upcoming holidays. This should be very entertaining AND educational!

Matt and Jay will also be talking about their favorite Fast Foods. They'll talk about their favorite fast food joints and what makes them so good. Maybe they bring back good memories and maybe it's just the food! They'll also talk about their LEAST favorite fast food places and share the painful memories of those places.

Then Matt and Jaym might move on to fast food's heavily processed and even less healthy cousin Frozen Foods! TV Dinners, frozen pizzas and other microwavable ready-to-eat meals that we keep eating even though they leave us unsatisfied and hating ourselves. AAAAAAND ... Food Trucks! Who doesn't love food trucks?

As always our Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf and the IWS Players will be along to offer their special insight into these and other topics. This will show will be an intoxicating blend of food, firewater and frivolity including YOUR CALLS on "Eat Drink And Be Cheap Fast and Easy" on IWS Radio this Sunday at 12 Noon ET!! Matt and Jay will be hooked up to one of these:

America's Best Fast Food Restaurants

Last Thursday, upon these hailed and hallowed pages of the IWS website, Jayman listed his fifteen favorite fast food spots.  As I am still hung-over twenty-four hours after the end of my election night bender, I shall do the same, however…

As I truly am hung-over as I type this, I am going to list but the mere top ten of my favorite deliciously greasy fast food joints…

10. Culver’s…Culver’s Butter Burgers are simply da bomb.  They are not huge.  They don’t look special in any form nor fashion, but whatever the hell they season their meat with is addictive.  The only reason I place them as low as #10 is because there isn’t one within drunk driving distance of my home.

9.  Subway…Subway is quick and offers plenty of options, but there are a lot of questionable hands fingering my toppings and while delicious, the grease factor is sub-standard.

8.  Waffle House…While it is actually a sit down restaurant, the ambience in each and every one screams fast food denoted by the fact that damn near every Waffle House store sign has at least one light burned out. Cover me, smother me, and slap my drunk ass with a handful of bacon grease.  Waf*le H*use is awesome!!

7.  Wendy’s…Some of the freshest and greasiest burgers around.  Love me a Wendy’s triple with cheese, mustard and pickles.  It’s a beautiful thing but the price tag for said heart attack on a bun? Well let’s just say that nowadays, Wendy’s should offer financing on their meals.

6.  Steak n Shake…Great burgers, good fries, and prices are not bad.  And if you are nursing a morning after hang-over, they have offer a pretty damn good breakfast menu.

5.  McDonald’s…Filet O’ Fish, Big Mac, Double Cheeseburger, and fries that are always tasty, I love me some Mickey D’s.  Much like Wendy’s they too have gotten a bit pricier over the years as far as fast food goes, but I am still a fan of the clown food.

4.  Hardee’s…As a former employee of Hardee’s during my High School years, I came to love Hardee’s. From the Monster Thickburger to their newest Mile High Bacon Whatever or Mushroom ’n’ Swiss monstrosity, Hardee’s consistently proves that size (and greasiness) matters.

3.  Taco Bell…What the hell is not to like?  For Godssakes…Soft tortillas ensconcing ground meat, cheese, and sour cream.  A hard shell hugging ground meat, cheese, and sour cream. Burritos, tacos, enchiladas, are all fun and tasty words to say…especially when drunk!!

2.  Rally’s…As their commercials say, “Ya Gotta Eat.”  I go to Rally’s at least twice a month and they are by far the biggest bang for the buck fast food destination in the land.  Huge juicy burgers that go for 2 for $3 or 2 for $4 and the world’s best seasoned fries.  And the wait in line…Quickest fast food Drive-Thru bar none.

1.  White Castle…A suitcase of White Castle cheeseburgers with onion and pickle and a gross of onion chips and I am in heaven.  Those little sliders are chock full of taste and colon cleansing powers to the nth degree. Sure the don’t call them Belly Bombers for nothing, but man…Drunk, sober, or on death row, they sure as hell taste great going down.

So there you have it…My fave fast food places on Earth.  Try some of them out this weekend and tell em’ Matt-Man sent ya.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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The Headlines Never End!

Holaaaaaaaaaaaaa! More headlines you say? Sure! Why not!

Lena Dunham has sparked controversy with her new book titled “This is What Happens When You Have Permissive Parents Who Raise Their Sociopath Kid to Not Have Boundaries and Overshare.”

According to the Center for Comedic Statistics the number of Americans working on their Morgan Freeman impression has gone over 100,000,000. That puts Freeman in second place behind Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hospitals in the U.S. have started running trials for wireless heart monitoring technology. Doctors say the technology seems to work well, but patients say it’s hell when the thing buffers.

ISIS and Mexican Drug Cartels say Tom Cotton’s election to the senate has dealt a serious blow to their non-existent plans to invade Arkansas.

Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly said on his show recently that many Americans are “simply dumb.” He then said “Just look at how high my ratings are! That should prove my theory right there.”

Bob Geldoff is planning a new Band Aid song to help fight Ebola. It’s titled “Don’t Cough on Me!”

North Carolina voters report their voting machines have been switching their votes from democrat to republican. Then back again. And again. Officials say it’s all in good fun and the votes even out.

NBC cancels the show “Bad Judge” after only five episodes shocking experts who were sure the show wouldn’t last more than three weeks.

Lorne Michaels has revealed that “Saturday Night Live” is working under a whole new premise this season. Michaels says “We’re not focusing on being funny anymore. We have other things we want to accomplish with the show.” He declined to reveal what those other things are.

American’s looking forward to the 2016 Presidential Election Season kicking off on Wednesday.

Frenchman downs 56 shots of liquor and surrenders. Permanently.

Mathematicians say the University of Arkansas football team has found every possible way to lose a game. Something no other team has accomplished since the Northwester Wildcats 34 game losing streak from 1979 through 1982.

NBC’s Chuck Todd is shocked to find that American’s number one concerns are domestic issues while voting in the American elections.

A new study finds that men shorter than 5’ 9” are more likely to suffer from dementia. Added Vladimir Putin “not to men delusions of grandeur.”    

Saudi Arabia’s Religious Police have outlawed “Tempting Eyes.” Will take up the issue of “Winking” next week.

Kaci Hickox, the nurse in Maine who has been fighting orders to be quarantined for 21 days out of Ebola fears now says she will attempt to set the world hugging record this week. Sign up for the event has been described as “slow.”   

NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon recently delivered Drive to End Hunger’s one millionth meal to an elderly lady who asked him why it took him so damn long to get there.

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Jay, Matt, and Mimi Jumped the Peace Shark

Yesterday…Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players had quite the time during their Peace, Pencil Skirts, and Politics Show.

For the first hour, they spoke with Mimi Lenox the Director at Blog Blast for Peace as she spoke about her determination to change the world into a peaceful place one “peace globe” at a time.

Cordial, light-hearted, and informative Mimi laid out her plans for a world full of peace, and left Jay and Matt following right behind her pencil skirt.

And then…The World turned dark.

Jay, Matt, and Bobby Kraft began to talk politics.

Jay had an awesome time at the early voting polls with an old, civically endowed, yet vapid lady who knows not how to verify a voter.

Matt-Man’s prodigal son returned, albeit briefly.

Jay and Matt relished the new hours at the Beer Mine as Matt may unwittingly end up with too much time on his hands.

Tom Pryor and Mark Cotton are in dire straits.

Kay Tillis in spite of McCain’s endorsement may lose.  And if so, it’s okay, McCain also endorsed Thom Hagan.

And while Jean Shaheen has lived in New Hampshire for years, she doesn’t realize that her carpet bagging alter ego Scott Brown has no clue that Montpelier is the capital…of Vermont.  What?

I know right!?  The show was all sorts of wacky, fucked up peaceful mayhem, but Jay and Matt kept it in perspective and all under control.

Jay and Matt also called Senate campaign headquarters across the land in search of inside information, and what they got from Joni Ernst, Bruce Braley, Tom Cotton, and Mark Pryor will shock you.

So…

Give yesterday’s show a listen and tell your friends to listen as well, because with midterm elections coming up, they will finally realize what midterm elections really are.

But seriously listen to the show, and at least give peace a chance by listening to Mimi Lenox during the first hour of the show, she was awesome…

Blessed are the Peacemakers ...

for they are the IWS Persons of the Week!!!

Singer, songwriter and activist Joan Baez ...

Nobel Peace Prize winner and former Vice President Al Gore ...

Actress and activist Jane Fonda ...

Nobel Peace Prize winner and inspiring activist Malala Yousafzi ...

And of course Nobel Prize Winner President Barack Obama along with his top advisers Matt-Man and Jayman ....

Congrats and let's all give peace a chance, shall we?


Of course that's EXACTLY what we're doing on IWS Radio this week as we welcome founder of Blog Blast for Peace Mimi Lennox to discuss "Peace, Pencil Skirts and Politics" at 12 Noon ET!