IWS Coffee Mugs, Bringin' The January Thaw

January is such a cold, gloomy, and boring month that it always helps if people can help brighten the day and pick up the spirits of others as we forge that long trail through the long gruesome month of January.

And folks, we here at IWS Radio have in small increments, been able to shed some flickers of sunlight upon a handful of people wallowing in the gray cast of the winter.  And how have we done that, you ask?

Through the joy of IWS Radio coffee mugs!!

That’s Right!!  We have been sending IWS Radio mugs to loyal listeners and contributors throughout the world.

And let me tell ya, it hasn’t been painless.  When I sent a set of mugs down to Jayman in our Arkansas office, a couple of the collectibles arrived with broken handles…

Very sad…And when Jayman sent a mug to the lovely, rusty sandwich lovin’ Cracker, the hole in the bottom of the mug left her feeling empty…

But fear not, Jayman sent her another one that was solid as a rock.  That’s how we roll here at IWS Radio.

My second, third, and fourth attempts went off without a hitch.  No broken handle this go around.  The mug I shipped to the acerbic Jesse Ferg found its way to him one glorious piece…

The mug I sent to Tamra, who is the leading cause of nocturnal emissions of the IWS staff, arrived safely and was quickly embraced within her soft and loving...um...hands…

Lastly, and while I have no pictures…I received a phone call yesterday at the Beer Mine (conveniently located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett Rd. in Bagwine, Ohio.) that the sexiest Canadian to have ever roamed the earth and our IWS Canadian Bureau Chief Miss Jamie Mapleleaf, received her mugs in the same state that they left Ohio…in one piece.

A few more mugs have been or soon will be sent out to places such as California and Texas, so dig it…Our January IWS warmth is already tangible in six states and one province of Canada.   We are spreading the joy!! And…

We have been rewarded for our efforts.  While always in the top five in the Comedy ratings on BTR, yesterday our January 11th show hit Numero Uno on BTR.  That hasn’t happened in quite awhile.

So to all of you…Thanks for continuing to listen, for helping us out, and simply for being our friends.  And remember folks, these collectible coffee mugs won’t last forever so punch your ticket for one by joining the IWS Radio Looooooooove Train!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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Jon Gruden and Others Got Told What's What 'n Such

This week on IWS Radio Matt and Jay decided it was time to tell a few people to “Shut Your Whore Mouth.” Of course, it was meant in the most loving and supportive way.

Matt did a good deed for a customer, but it cost Schmoop her Fritos.

Jayman did a good deed for the Jaymom and was surprised by the offers of assistance from his neighbors.

Lots of IWS Radio coffee mugs got sent out to very deserving people.

Jesse Ferg isn’t impressed with Mark May, Teenagers, Walmart Shoppers and others.

Nurse Sherri has completed her diagnosis and it’s hurtful.

Naya Rivera is nasty and Brandi Glanville repeats rumors about Joanna Krupa and Matt and Jay are very disturbed.

Steve Emmerson told us all about “No Go Zones” in France and England.

Ted Nugent is a coward and all-around piece of shit human being.

Jon Gruden is just stupid. Really fucking stupid.

The “Worst Songs of the Week” choices were OMG awful songs!!!

Rush Limbaugh is tired of all the guilty white liberals.

Bobby Kraft shared some of the hilarity of FavStar with everyone.

Sarcastic Sam blew Chris “The Philadelphia Freak” Matthews up!

Whispering Willie has lost it!

ESPN’s Chris “BOOMER” Berman has a real potty mouth!

Then Matt and Jay told lots and lots of people to “SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!” Or something like that. Totally worth a listen! Maybe we ripped one of your favorite celebrities or pundits?

                               

IWS Person of the Week...Mitt Romney

Sunday as always, is Person of the Week day here on the IWS Radio website, and if there is one thing the staff and management here at IWS appreciate, is any person who holds on to his or her own dream like grim death, and attempts to keep it alive.

This week we honor such a person. A man who after two failed attempts to become President of the United States, is willing to stick his losing neck out there one last time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, our IWS Radio Person of the Week and close friend of the IWS Radio Show…Mr. Mitt Romney!!

See?  We here at IWS Radio know Mitt Romney to be a sweetheart and all-around nice guy, but some people who know nothing of him and his moral fiber, try to portray him as some type of Charles Dickens inspired villain…

We know better.  And we know that his third time running for President could be the charm, and as Mitt so accurately and eloquently describes his chances, he could be the next resident of the White House…

Anyway, and in spite of his problem with math, we are in full support of Mitt Romney, and hope he one day achieves his dream…and to those of you who say he should shut his whore mouth?

It’s falling upon our deaf ears because we love him, and obviously…He loves us…

And for more Shut Your Whore Mouth fun…Join Jay, Matt, and the entire IWS Radio gang today LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as they present their Shut Your Whore Mouth n’ Such episode on IWS Radio.

Sarcasm and laughter will abound as Jay and Matt disparage every self-important blowhard, political pundit, celebrity, and person of every other walk of life that need to shut up and Shut Their Whore Mouth.

So join us LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET.  To listen LIVE, you can click right HERE!!

Nasty Naya Rivera and Andrew Luck Need to Shut Their Whore Mouths!

Nobody is a bigger defender of the first amendment than Matt-Man and Jayman. We support freedom of speech and freedom of expression 100%! But, just because you have freedom of speech, doesn't mean you should use it. There are some people out there who would be much better off if they just shut the fuck up. Most of these people are politicians, athletes, celebrities and political and sports pundits. Seriously, they're just embarrassing themselves.

Okay, so we'll mostly agree on that. There are, however, more people out there we've had enough of. Just regular everyday folks doing things like driving slow in the fast lane, searching for exact change at the register, sharing stupid "viral" videos on their Facebook page and lots of other annying things. Matt and Jay have had enough of all these people, famous or not, and they're not gonna take it anymore.

They will also continue the national discussion about freedom of expression including telling offensive jokes, mocking religion and even rape jokes. And just what the hell is "rape culture" and "slut shaming" anyway? Matt and Jay will break it all down for ya. Or something.

As always Jamie Mapleleaf and the IWS Players will be here to add to the discussion. Bobby Kraft has discovered the DPRK News Service Twitter feed and he is in love with those guys. Phil Diller is ready to kick off his big 2015 comedy tour. If you even mention the word "whore" Drew Peacock won't be far behind. And really, who knows what else might happen. IWS is nothing if not unpredictable. All this and YOUR CALLS this week on IWS Radio!

Tune in for "Shut Your Whore Mouth 'n Such" on IWS Radio this Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!! 

You Tube Is A Cruel Mistress

Cheeeeeeers Bitches and a Happy Friday to you all.  Do you know why I am coming to you on Friday rather than Thursday?  Of course you don’t, but allow me to assplain…

Oh sure, you may think it was because I was partying hard on Wednesday night, but I don’t.

Much like Protestants, I celebrate the Lord on Wednesdays for whatever reason.  Okay…seriously?  I don’t celebrate the Lord on Wednesday but I am at the Beer Mine til’ 9, so I don’t engage in a day full of debauchery.

Anyhoo…The reason and/or reasons that I forgot to post yesterday is due to more than a couple of contributing factors…

First of all, I am old.  I can’t remember what day is what anymore especially since my BFF Schmoop works different days every week.  I like a rigid schedule as far as work goes, but anymore with deli girl being all over the place schedule wise, my decrepit mind knows not what day it is.

A related factor is that the older I get, the more my less than stellar attention span becomes.  I have always been a, “I See Something Shiny” kind of guy, but as the years get longer, my attention span grows even shorter.

And perhaps, the biggest contributing factor of my forgetfulness about yesterday’s post was this…

With the addition to our Worst Song of the Week segment and more inclusive use of stupid audios spewed by others during the IWS Radio Show, I go onto You Tube more than ever, and this requires a lot of You Tube research.

See?  When I go onto You Tube to find a really bad song, and type in Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphey or whatever, other suggestions of songs pop up, and they are all horrid.  And?  I have to listen to all of them to make certain that I am not missing out on bringing you the very worst music ever recorded.

And this Sunday on the IWS Radio Show?  Jayman and I are talking about people who just need to shut the fuck up and shut their whore mouths, so…

Last night when I got home from the Beer Mine, I went to You Tube and conjured up video after video of famous and not so famous people saying incredibly stupid, annoying, and/or idiotic things, but here’s the problem…

I began searching around 11 PM and the next thing I knew, it was 1 AM and even though I hadn't eaten, I was exhausted and went to bed.  Funny thing about You Tube.

It sucks a person in with video suggestions and the next thing you know, it’s two hours later.  I hate You Tube, and…

I love it as well, and couldn’t live without it, however…it should have a growing old/ADD option where it shuts down for three minutes after playing one video.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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Headlines, Observations and Hot Takes

Holaaaaaaaaaaa! I couldn’t decide if I wanted to do headlines or hot takes tonight when I suddenly had a brilliant idea. I’ll do both! I’ll throw in some HI-larious headlines some hot takes on big topics of the day and maybe an observation or two about other things. O boy! This is gonna be fun. Maybe. Whatever.

An Observation...

I was watching the Golden Globes when Jeffrey Tambor won for the show “Transparent.” As he was giving his boring, soul-sucking brilliant and thoughtful acceptance speech I was thinking about him as the Mayor of Who-ville in the movie version of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” At one point in the movie the mayor throws a little fit and repeats “INVITE THE GRINCH – RUIN CHRISTMAS … INVITE THE GRINCH – RUIN CHRISTMAS!” over and over. So while he was talking all I could think of was “PLAY A TRANNY – WIN AN AWARD … PLAY A TRANNY – WIN AN AWARD!”

I thought about tweeting that, but you know that would have offended someone. We don’t want to do that now, do we? Oh sure, it’s true! If you play a transvestite or transgendered American or whatever you will at least get a nomination. If you play a gay character you will get a nomination and will probably win. Sean Penn won for playing Harvey Milk when we all know Frank Langella was far more deserving for his portrayal of Richard Nixon in “Frost/Nixon.” But, we’re not allowed to talk about these things cause that’s hurtful.

Here’s some headlines…

Mitt Romney announces he is considering making a third attempt to buy the U.S. Presidency.

French officials agree to allow Muslims to participate in freedom march, but remind them that hijabs are illegal.  

Area sports fan is angry at self for forgetting to blame referees for his team’s loss.

Another Observation …

Have you noticed that not only are we not allowed to make rape jokes anymore, but we aren’t even allowed to mock rapists who get away with it?? I’ve seen it twice now. Once after Florida State lost to Oregon and Twitter lit up with all kinds of jokes about Jameis Winston and FSU. The next time was after the Golden Globes when some people got all pissy at Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for going after Bill Cosby.

After the FSU game there were several FSU alum trying to make the claim that mocking Winston and FSU was THE SAME THING as mocking the girl who was Winston’s alleged sexual assault victim. Same thing happened Sunday night. Mocking Cosby is THE SAME THING as mocking all 30 plus women he allegedly raped.

That’s bullshit. All these people are doing is trying to protect their school or friend or hero or whatever. They don’t give a shit about the victims because they don’t believe there are any victims. But, the problem is if this type of thinking takes hold, we won’t ever be able to make fun of anyone. And if that happens the scumbags that attacked Charlie Hebdo last week win.

Okay, more headlines …

New hacktivist group Uber Anonymous emerges as top rival to Super Anonymous who was the top rival of Anonymouser who took down Anonymous.

Fox News sets up Twitter account to combat fake Fox News stories. Can’t figure out which ones are real. Shuts down in 24 hours.

Facebook user can’t decide whether to post his outrage over fake news story from satire site or share shitty viral video.

A Hot Take …

No … Just. No.

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Steve Kroft Is A Freak

Hi All…


Jay and Matt had a great show yesterday.

Steve Kroft showed up in order to escape his ass champagne drinking ways…

Matt and Schmoop got engaged…

Rev. Moneymaker was drunker than Hell, yet liked the fact that Matt and Schmoop lived no longer in sin.

Some of the worst songs ever were played…No…really.

Martin tried to calm us all down..

Schmoop called in our her new cell phone…Didn’t go well.

We celebrated the heroes of Charlie Hebdot.

We celebrated the late Bert Convy.

We later decided that the French were responsible for their evil fate due to bad music about pedophiles.

This post would be longer, but as we talked about Matt-Man being engaged, he has been ordered to bed.

Such a pity.

But for more Jay and Matt, please listen right here, as IWS Radio got their professional groove on, and made January a little more pleasant in spite of its brutal cold…

IWS Person of the Week: Charlie

IWS Radio Person(s) of the Week are the staff members of Charlie Hebdo who lost their lives in a terrorist attack in Paris this week.

Elsa Cayat: Columnist

Bernard Maris: Editor/Columnist

Mustapha Ourad: Copy-Editor

Jean Cabut: Cartoonist

Pilippe Honore: Cartoonist

Bernard Verlhac: Cartoonist

Georges Walinski: Cartoonist

Stephane Charbonnier: Cartoonist, Columnist and Editor-in-Chief of Charlie Hebdo

Others who died in the attack:

Frederic Bosseau: Building Maintenance

Michael Renaud: Guest at the meeting

Frank Brinsolara: Police Officer/Body Guard

Ahmed Merbet: Police Officer

Also, be sure to join us for "Shenanigans 'n Such at Hodgepodge Lodge" on IWS Radio at 12 Noon ET as we exercise our freedom of expression.

Bert Convy Loves IWS Radio

Hi all…The late great Bert Convy here for IWS Radio…

When I was alive, I was an average guy who could do a lot of things in an average way.  I was an average game show host…an average singer, and an average actor if it was a part that contained whimsy and self-deprecation.

I was in a sense, a jack-of-all entertainment trades.  Nothing fancy, but as is typical with white guys, very workman-like.  I was all about nothing and at the same time all about everything.

And LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio, the IWS Radio Show will broadcast an episode that is very much like me…very…Convy-esque.

They will cover everything from terrorism to football, from bad music to bad weather, from the goings on up during their winter retreat at Hodgepodge Lodge to the unsuccessful unseating of the orange man himself, John Boehner.  In fact, their press release person summed up tomorrow’s show this way…

The holidays are over and the bitter polar air of January has its icy grip upon the country.  Hot topics come to a stall at this time of year, and it often seems as though there is nothing to talk about.

Well…nothing in particular to talk about, but plenty of things to talk about in general, and that is why Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team are meeting at Hodgepodge Lodge outside of Bemidji, MN. for a winter retreat.

IWS Radio is celebrating winter activities, the NFL Playoffs, the NCAA Football National Championship, and discussing the terrorist attack in Paris, as well as John Boehner’s orange skin, the flaccid Tea Party attempt to unseat him, and shocking headlines and anecdotes from Redneckville, AR. and Bagwine, OH.

Anything goes at Hodgepodge Lodge, and this week is no exception as laughter, bad music, and satirical shenanigans ensue as IWS Radio breaks the ice with biting wit and a warm smile for all.  So, join them and call-in at 661-244-9852.

I hope you all listen live and call-in tomorrow between Noon and 2 PM ET.  You’ll be doing yourself a favor and will realize that average and shallow coverage of many events done by professionals such as Jay and Matt can be nearly as sexy and uproariously funny as me.

With Love From Heaven,

Bert Convy

To listen LIVE to the IWS Radio Shenanigans ‘n’ Such From Hodgepodge Lodge show tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET click HERE.  

Nothing Lasts Forever

Holaaaaaaaaaa y’all! Why can’t anyone make anything that lasts anymore? I know us grumpy old men ask that question all the time, but this time I mean it. My clock radio has crapped out. All I get out of it is static. What’s really weird is that the radio part is turned off! On or Off all I get from it is static. It still keeps the correct time and the alarm still works, but that’s all. What really pisses me off is I’ve only had the thing THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS!

IKNOWRIGHT???!!! This is bullshit! What a timeless design too. That right there fits in with any décor. I got it as a Christmas present when I was in the fourth grade. I had Mrs. Cooper that year. *SHUDDER* Damn, that was a mean woman right there. She didn’t believe in tough love. She believed in hurtful and emotionally abusive love. She also believed in forcing the class to stand and recite the Pledge of Allegiance each morning and stand and repeat a little prayer that she led us in right before lunch. Fun times y’all!

In fact, I had a very bad day when it comes to electronics today. As you probably know I have a new TV in the IWS Studio. Well, that baby is freaking awesome. I’m watching “Nature” on PBS in HD bitches!

Anyway, I had the brilliant idea of hooking up my old Roku 2 to this TV so I could watch episodes of Gilmore Girls and Gossip Girl while working on IWS Radio. Uh, I mean documentaries that will help expand my mind and world view. Yeah, that’s it.

Well, that is more complicated than I though. Turns out I got the wrong HMDI cable! Man that pisses me off. So, now I have to take it back to Walmart and get the right one. It’ll be a whole week before I get the new one! So unfair!

Why can’t I get the right one at Walmart? I can, I just refuse to. See, our Walmart put the expensive shit on the shelves and if you want the more economical brand of these things you have to order online and have it shipped to the store. They can do this because nobody else in town carries HDMI cables. The result is I had to order from Amazon (along with a couple of boxes of food safe gloves) and will have to wait a week for it to be delivered. What a life!

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Driving The Storm Out

Cheeeeeeers, greetings, and to all of you panic-stricken, wetting your pants, curled up in a fetal position
while crying uncontrollably Marys out there…

Get over it!!  It’s winter in Ohio and believe it or not, sometimes it snows in January.  In fact, snow is such a common event during the month of January in Ohio, that perhaps you should be fucking used to it by now!!

Oh dear Lord…Bagwine, Ohio was in an uproar Monday as the National Weather Service issued a Winter Storm Warning for the area and predicted that as much as…are you sitting down…THREE to FIVE inches of snow may fall between 10 PM last night and Noon today.

Three…to Five…inches…people!!

The NWS may as well have said that eighteen feet of acid-enriched snow formed from atomic heavy water will cascade down upon Bagwine, Ohio cloaking the denizens of our fair city beneath a shroud of death and destruction unseen since the days long ago when the armies of Alexander the Great pummeled and plummeted ninety percent of the known world.

On cue, the fearful folks of Bagwine began storming every grocery, convenience store, gas station, and bank in order to prepare themselves and their out of wedlock livestock before the coming meteorological apocalypse arrives.

Whenever there is a threat of an inch or more of snow ‘round these parts, people think it’s 1847, and unless they make it to Jedidiah’s Dry Goods and Tannery before the snow flies, they will perish just like those poor folks did while trying to navigate Donner’s Pass.

People flip out during a snow event, and even more so…the local news outlets break out the ratings drum and bang on it incessantly, driving their moribund audience down the road to the intersection of where Hysteria Lane meets Bonehead Boulevard.  However…

The local news experts offer their audiences vital and important tips on how to survive the White Death.  Tips such as…

Slow down when driving…Leave a few minutes early…Bring in the elderly and water your pets…and of course my favorite winter storm tip of all…

If you don’t have to go anywhere, stay home.

Y’know? I've been thinking about that tip, and I think that if you have nowhere to go, and yet decide to drive around during a period of moderate snowfall and slick road conditions, you should do just that.

I mean c’mon…

Don’t let the lame stream media control you.  Stand up for yourself, and drive whenever, wherever, and under whatever conditions you choose.

If a mere three-five inches of snow keeps you from driving to somewhere that you didn’t really need to go, the terrorists win.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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There's Nothing Trivial About IWS Radio's Success!

Yet another EPIC episode of IWS Radio! It was non-stop fun and games this week …

Lots of pork on New Year’s Day!

Sad news about Giada de Laurentiis’ divorce.

The couple who left the $10 tip finally returned! The $10 was for “putting the beer in the backseat.”

Jayman enjoyed a nice cold and refreshing Pepsi. Matt committed to drinking ONE seven-ounce can of Pepsi if they agreed to sponsor IWS Radio.

The straw that stirs the drink.

Sarcastic Sam takes on Fox & Friends

Guy Ahnurdyck has a trivia question for us.

America loves the Oregon Ducks and Florida States finds don’t understand why.

Ambulance service comes to Cincinnati.  

Matt and Jay shared their “Bad Songs of the Week” and OMG they were soooooo bad. (Bad bad, not good bad.”

Elephants have FOUR knees, but still can’t jump.  

Kim Frageeley has a half bottle of tequila, a tin of Vienna Sausages and is open for bidness.

“The Duggar Effect.”

Canada is a Big Village.

Paige called in and hung out with Matt and Jay for a bit. She gets a mug!

Geography questions are great for trivia games.

Making plans for the whole IWS gang to convene at Hodgepodge Lodge next week.

Buddy Holly’s big hit “That’ll be the Day” came from the line “that’ll be the day” spoken by John Wayne in the movie “The Searchers.”

Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnd so much more fascinating and hilarious trivia was shared! Check it out! Do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

                             

IWS Person of the Week: FOX and Friends Host Anna Kooiman

We’re only four days into 2015 and already we here at IWS Radio have a pretty good idea who will end up being Time Magazine’s Person of the Year for 2015.

She has brains, talent, sexiness, and above all, journalistic teeth unseen since the hey day of Woodward and Bernstein.  The assuredly future Time Magazine Person of the Year for 2015 is our IWS Person of the Week, none other than the brainy and beautiful Fox and Friends anchoress…

Anna Kooiman!!

Anna knows that when covering breaking news, sometimes one must sacrifice one’s own vanity and personal naughty bits in order to grab the dirty truth of a headline…

Ms. Kooiman is also multi-faceted in her coverage of the news, as she can display a variety of emotions…

Anna Kooiman is quite the athlete and fitness instructor as well, and keeps healthy by drinking plenty of water which enables her to cover the news 24/7…

First and foremost however…in spite of her beauty, intellect, and high-profile position, Anna isn't afraid to get her hands dirty in order to break the truth about international celebrities and political power brokers…

So here’s to Anna Kooiman, our IWS Person of the Week.  She’s a woman on the rise and a woman who cannot be out FOXed!!

For more great Anna Kooiman news and a penultimate celebration of National Trivia Day join Jay, Matt, and the entire IWS Radio team as they broadcast LIVE today from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Jay and Matt will be offering trivia questions and prizes to the audience along with recapping New Year’s Day, college and NFL football, and looking ahead to the Year of Jayman in 2015 as they engage in their Trivial Pursuit of Happiness show.

So join IWS Radio LIVE today from Noon-2 PM ET by clicking HERE.

Anna Kooiman and Other Trivial Things

It's finally 2015 and Matt and Jay are all fired up about it! Or something. Well, it IS going to be The Year of the Jayman! Hopefully. No, not hopefully, IWS Radio is going to make it happen! That's right bitches! New year new attitude.

Matt and Jay review New Year's and talk about all the parties that they didn't attend and analyze the NCAA Football Playoffs as well as the NFL! Then they'll discuss some of the annoying things people did or said in 2014 that needs to stay in 2014. Hell, even some people who became "famous" in 2014 who need to stay there.

Plus Sunday is National Trivia Day! So, Matt and Jay will come armed with lots of fascinating, funny and probably stupid trivia questions to ask each other and their listeners. Call in with the answer to one of the questions OR call in with your own great trivia question that stumps Matt and Jay and win a sexy IWSRadio.com coffee mug! Woooooooooo!

The IWS Players will be along too. You know you don't want to miss that! There might even be a new correspondent! Sarcastic Sam has a few observations about Fox News’ Anna Kooiman’s intelligence level. Plus, Jamie Mapleleaf will be here, and there will be another round of "Bad Songs of the Week." All this and so much more so be there or be square for “TheTrivial Pursuit of Happiness” on IWS Radio Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!