Showing posts with label Miss Mapleleaf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miss Mapleleaf. Show all posts

Monday, January 19, 2015

IWS Coffee Mugs, Bringin' The January Thaw

January is such a cold, gloomy, and boring month that it always helps if people can help brighten the day and pick up the spirits of others as we forge that long trail through the long gruesome month of January.

And folks, we here at IWS Radio have in small increments, been able to shed some flickers of sunlight upon a handful of people wallowing in the gray cast of the winter.  And how have we done that, you ask?

Through the joy of IWS Radio coffee mugs!!

That’s Right!!  We have been sending IWS Radio mugs to loyal listeners and contributors throughout the world.

And let me tell ya, it hasn’t been painless.  When I sent a set of mugs down to Jayman in our Arkansas office, a couple of the collectibles arrived with broken handles…


Very sad…And when Jayman sent a mug to the lovely, rusty sandwich lovin’ Cracker, the hole in the bottom of the mug left her feeling empty…


But fear not, Jayman sent her another one that was solid as a rock.  That’s how we roll here at IWS Radio.

My second, third, and fourth attempts went off without a hitch.  No broken handle this go around.  The mug I shipped to the acerbic Jesse Ferg found its way to him one glorious piece…


The mug I sent to Tamra, who is the leading cause of nocturnal emissions of the IWS staff, arrived safely and was quickly embraced within her soft and loving...um...hands…


Lastly, and while I have no pictures…I received a phone call yesterday at the Beer Mine (conveniently located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett Rd. in Bagwine, Ohio.) that the sexiest Canadian to have ever roamed the earth and our IWS Canadian Bureau Chief Miss Jamie Mapleleaf, received her mugs in the same state that they left Ohio…in one piece.

A few more mugs have been or soon will be sent out to places such as California and Texas, so dig it…Our January IWS warmth is already tangible in six states and one province of Canada.   We are spreading the joy!! And…

We have been rewarded for our efforts.  While always in the top five in the Comedy ratings on BTR, yesterday our January 11th show hit Numero Uno on BTR.  That hasn’t happened in quite awhile.


So to all of you…Thanks for continuing to listen, for helping us out, and simply for being our friends.  And remember folks, these collectible coffee mugs won’t last forever so punch your ticket for one by joining the IWS Radio Looooooooove Train!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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Monday, June 30, 2014

It's Canada Day!! So What...Eh?*

It’s the first day of July Bitches!! And you know what that means…

That’s right…It’s Canada Day!!

Today is the day that Canada celebrates its “independence” from the United Kingdom…um, okay, not really.

Today marks the day in 1867 that Canada was formally known as a Dominion…meaning several provinces of Canada united as one under the Crown of the United Kingdom.

See…Canada was never truly independent of the English bastards until 1982. 1982!!

Ha!! Angola told Portugal to shove it some seven years earlier. Angola, folks!!

Hell even today, in spite of Canada's “independence”, the Queen of England (and no, I don’t mean Elton John) is still the legal head of state.

What the fuck kind of independence is that?

Holy Crap…

While Americans are gearing up to celebrate our independence from Britain that took the writing and signing of a “treasonous” document and a brutal war that lasted over six years...

The Canadians are celebrating the right of their provinces to associate with each other under the iron girdle of the British crown.

What a bunch of back bacon pussies.*

Three days from now, we will be honoring great men such as George Washington, John Adams, Ben Franklin, and Patrick Henry.

Today, the Canadians will be paying homage to the likes of Anne Murray, Keanu Reeves, Howie Mandel, and Justin Bieber. And of course…The Queen.

Screw the Canadians…or is that, Canadiens? See?

They can’t even settle on the fucking spelling of who and what they are.

It all goes back to those damn French in Québec. The French in Québec are kinda like the Zoroastrians are in Afghanistan and Iran.

Oh sure…they’re there, but, pffffft, fuck ‘em.

Anyhoo…Let’s say fuck you to the Canadians and especially the Canadiens.

This July 4th, let’s celebrate our Independence Day by fully democratizing the Labatt Blue pissing Canadians like we did the Germans, the Japs, and the Vietnamese…er…well, whatever.

We can fire cruise missiles, and send a squadron of B-2s to level their no-balls parliament.

And then, I’ll personally go to Buckingham Palace to bitch slap Queen Lizzy, and say unto Her Majesty:

“You wanna act like you still have an Empire? Well, free my neighbors to the north and go re-invade the sheep herders on the Falkland Islands…and by the way, Charles is fucking gay.”

Oh yeah, babies…

This year…

If America puts her mind to it, we can celebrate the 4th of July with drunken Canadians being killed by American made bombs instead of drunken Americans losing an eye or a finger to an errant, Chinese made Roman Candle.

I for one, can dig that. But…

It’s Canada Day, so I celebrate them…

But seriously, does anyone really give a shit?

It‘s not like they’re really independent…or relevant.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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*None of the above remarks apply to IWS Radio’s favorite Canadian and Canadian Bureau Chief, the uber-lovely and talented, Jamie Mapleleaf, nor to William Shatner, nor Rob Ford.

Jamie, Bill, and Rob are the only three people who give Canada a sexy splash of excitement and personality.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

IWS Radio...You Have Advice For Me? Really?

Jay, Matt Man, and the IWS players did a radio show yesterday.

No, it’s true.

KleeShay Johnson was there, and he was hanging out with the everyday thing.

Bobby Kraft did an interview with the one and only Ben Franklin…

Who tossed it over to Willie Gene and oh mercy, the shit was on.

Buddy Acapella had birthday shout outs to Roc, and our official IWS lounge singer, Jackie…how you doin’ Jaxxx?

And we talked about internet “experts” who don’t know their ass from their hole in the ground.

The Bag Man was there with misery loves company help for Rose drinkers…

And after our personal chastisement of all of these folks, Mr. Spock summed up everything that is awful about our world.

It wasn’t pretty, but it was awesome good, so give it a listen.

And give it a listen right here…