Hot Sex is the Secret to Ending the Cold War of the Shutdown

Cheeeeeeeeers, and a Happy Tuesday to ya, Chuckleheads!!

Y’know?

I hate it when I have nothing topical to write about that excites me, but when I am in that type of pattern and just not “feelin’ it”, I try to think of things in general that excite me, make me mad, or more often than not, make me laugh.

I am burned out by the 24/7 news coverage of the Obamacare/Debt Ceiling/Government Shutdown impasse that is raging like an out of control wildfire burning slowly and painfully like an ember at the Millard Fillmore Perpetual Pyre of Obscurity, which of course is still open because it receives no Federal funding and well…doesn't really exist, but anyhoo…

The only redeeming thing about the incessant and repetitive coverage of this latest American political crisis, is the fact that cable news pundits, talk radio hosts, and viewers and callers of, and to, such media venues headline an all-star and Tony Award winning cast in the newest American stage comedy classic…

“Buffoonery, Hypocrisy, and Ideology on Parade!!”

Oy Vey folks!!  What the hell is wrong with these people on TV, Radio, and their audiences?

It’s as though the late Timothy Leary has taken over programming for every damn political TV and Radio show, and at the same time is the host, guest, and caller-in to every damn show!!

It’s cwazy, wacky and it’s making my head spin, making me laugh, and making me feel much better about myself than I ever had, well…other than that one time at Bowling Green State University in 1983 when I had hot post-Homecoming sex with a Republican chick named Ann Barlage. Mmmmmmmmm…

That was some hot bi-partisan sex right there boy!!  See, unlike the ideologues of today, both in the media and the Congress…

We reached across the aisle, agreed to disagree, and then filibustered the hell out of each other until the second Sunday in October sun rose, and while creeping through the blinds, dappled us, and the empty wine bottles, with her golden crepuscular rays that said unto Ann and I…

“Your motions were more than well approved by one and other.  Now go, and sin no more.”

See?

Why is it so hard for Rush Limbaugh to get along with Rachel Maddow?  Why is it so difficult for Sean Hannity to say that Joe Scarborough is not a RINO?

Why in the hell can’t Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin think of Barack Obama and Joe Biden as swell dudes?  And why can’t Rachel, Joe, Barack, and Joe think the same of them!?

Because people…A bitter, monocular, and turgid ideology is hard to overcome, but the answer is so simple, and that is what makes me laugh about all of this Obamacare/Debt Ceiling/Government Shutdown bullshit.

If like Ann and I, Limbaugh had sex with Maddow.  And Hannity had sex with Scarborough.  And then we made a porn film called, Ted, Sarah, Barack, and Joe, and What Harry Reid Saw, all would be right with the world, and America could move forward.

It’s not that hard, and ideally…Maybe if Joe Scarborough plays his cards right, he could have sex with Sean; Sean could get divorced as well, and Joe could make Hannity his third wife.

But…baby steps…Let’s just get America back onto the road to recovery for now, and think about the Irish nuptials later.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page 

I AM Miley Cyrus!!

Cheeeeeeers Chuckleheads!!

Well, unless you live under a rock, or are a person of Amish persuasion who is without a radio, television, or internet access, you know that the American media, parental groups, and holier-than-thou types are in full-throttle and five-speed overdrive, OUTRAGE mode.

It seems that the once winsome Disney studio star of Hannah Montana, twenty year old Miley Cyrus, twerked and worked her wares upon a growing pain inside the pants of thirty-six year old Robin Thicke during a live performance, on this past Sunday’s VMA awards show on MTV.

Monday morning as I watched the early morning talk shows, my hangover was cursed by the sound of Morning Joe’s Mika Brzezinski, who upon seeing the video, said things like…

"She is a mess. Someone needs to take care of her."  Annnnnd….

"That was disgusting and embarrassing."  Annnnnd of course this…

"That young lady, who is 20, is obviously deeply troubled, deeply disturbed...probably has an eating disorder."

I felt helpless as I lay there listening to that nattering nabob of Williams College educated, sexist, social piety, Ms. Mika “Pass Me the Vodka and Another Ambien” Brzezinski point out what she feels to be flaws in Miley’s character, and weaknesses in her emotional, physical, and psychological make-up.

Others in the media piled on poor Miley, and on Tuesday, Mika, Joe Scarborough, and the Parents Television Council said that advertisers must forgo MTV and person or persons at the network, should be fired.

Oh…My God…Such outrage over a little song and dance.  I haven’t seen this much outrage since millions of American children were victimized by Janet Jackson’s booby popping out during the Super Bowl a few years ago.

Here’s the thing…I know Miley Cyrus, because I AM Miley Cyrus.

I could have been Miley a few years back when I began my first blog.  If I had a daughter?  She would have looked like Miley Cyrus.

Seven years ago, I started my first blog.  At first, it was like working for Disney.  I was sweet, cute, affable, and many folks called me Matty.

And then…a couple of years into it, I knew it was time to fly.  Time to grow my wings, and become a seasoned and grown-up version of my blogging self.  So…

I began posting pictures likes this…

And this…

And in keeping with animal twerking like Miley’s Teddy Bear sexcapade, pictures like this…

Much like the burgeoning and longing for adult type performing for which Miley has yearned, I too felt the need to grow and become more adult and cutting edge in my blogging.  It’s a natural progression.  Oh sure, she did so at the age of 20, and I at the age of 43 or 44, but still…you get my point.

Mika Brzezinski claims that Miley Cyrus is disturbed, a mess, and probably suffers from an eating disorder because Mika’s emotional displacement tells her to say that.

Me?

I just say that Miley Cyrus and I are kindred spirits wanting to grow as people.

In fact, I say unto you now…

While early in my blogging career I could have been referred to as Hannah Mattana, I AM Miley Cyrus now, and perhaps in a small way, each and everyone of us are...ALL Miley Cyrus.

Stand firmly behind sweet Miley Cyrus, and don’t allow the OUTRAGE Police to throw her in jail!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page