Holaaaaaaaaaaa! Hey look! It’s me! Jayman writing a blog post! I’m typing it up in MS Word first, and then I’ll upload it so that I can keep the misspelled words to a minimum. You know where I’m NOT typing though? Oh my laptop! Why? Because the computer fix-it people still have my laptop, that’s why!
Yes, it has been almost three weeks since I took it in to them, why do you ask? Three freaking weeks people! I called them this afternoon and in a friendly and understanding way asked them if my laptop was ready. “Well you see, wha … wha … what happened was the new motherboard didn’t come in until today” was their answer. Where the hell did they have to order it from? Was it custom made by slave labor in a factory in the Far East? Was in originally shipped on MH370 and then had to be replaced? I’m not paying for it twice!
Anyway, I have been patiently waiting for the return of my laptop for almost three weeks and I guess I will have to wait for another day or two. What the hell, right? I don’t even remember what it looks like now. If they asked me to come down there and pick it out of a lineup I might not be able to do it. Well, unless I was allowed to turn each one on and check them out. Mine is the one with the extensive Miley Cyrus music and picture collection.
Sorry, I couldn’t put up a pic of Miley after that last paragraph because I’m still observing the “no gratuitous pics of hot babes” Lent pledge we made. I reject that I violated that pledge with the pics of Andrea Corr or Dolores O’Riorden on Sunday because that was the “Person of the Week” post and dammit, if you’re picking favorite Irish people those two go on the list! Also, pics of Michelle Obama and Sheryl Sandberg in my “bossy” post last week were okay because they were relevant to the post and they’re not that hot.
Wait! Under those rules a pic of Miley would have been fine, right? A pic of her would be relevant to the post since she was mentioned in a totally truthful manner. That really is the legit way I might have to identify my laptop. Granted, unlike Sheryl and Michelle, Miley is super damn hot, but that’s not her fault.
Okay, everything I said in the previous paragraph was a complete fucking lie. I’m very ashamed of myself. I should have given up lying for Lent. Eh, nobody could do that. Besides, I don’t really lie. I just say things that obviously absurd that nobody could possibly believe yet somehow you people do anyway. Don’t you feel silly? No? Well you should be. I think. Whatever.
Yeah, I really don’t know where I’m going with this. I’ve been drinking. Okay, I’m lying again. I haven’t been drinking. Not today anyway. I drank Sunday though. That Jameson was smooooooth! Damn I love that stuff. That’s why I don’t buy it very often. I drink it down pretty easily and don’t get hangovers with it. You gotta have a damn good amount of Irish in ya to pull that off!
Like I was saying though, my laptop has been gone for a long time and I miss it. It just messes everything up not to have it. Sure, I’ve got my Galaxy Tablet and I can use the Jaymom’s desktop when I need to, but I’m still all discombobulated. I was used to my laptop. My laptop was used to me. We were a team dammit and God willing we will be again soon. Maybe.
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