Zimmerman, Cheney and Walmart: Scumbags Gone Wild

Holaaaaaa y’all! There is one thing that is completely and totally obvious to me and should be to everyone else: The Scumbags Always Win.

Yup, people who are pieces of shit always win. Everything always works out for them and when it doesn’t, someone (or the government) steps in and saves them. Let’s take a look at today’s scumbags …

- George Zimmerman!Oh look! If it’s a day that ends in “y” then George Zimmerman must be in jail for a domestic dispute. Oh I know, it’s not his fault. It’s NEVER HIS FAULT! Sure he’s been arrested five times for domestic violence in his life and twice he has pointed or threatened his wife/girlfriend with a gun, but it wasn’t his fault. He’s a sweet, innocent victim of all these horrible people. And that unarmed teenager he shot and killed? He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Today’s incident has resulted in George being charged assault and battery after pointing a shotgun at his girlfriend. Don’t worry though, he’ll skate like always. People like George always go free. The NRA and other right wing organizations will be there to pay for everything again too.

I have seen a few women say things like “George Zimmerman has a girlfriend? How???” Isn’t that cute how they do that? Women are so naïve like that. Let me tell ya folks, behind every scumbag woman abusing murdering piece of shit guy is a long line of women wanting to get with him. I’ll never understand it either.

- Liz Cheney! Man, what a fun time it’s gonna be at the Cheney’s on Thanksgiving! Seems as though a little family tiff has blown wide open and in public no less! Liz Cheney is seeking the republican nomination for the US Senate in Wyoming (a state she may or may not live in) and to win the republican nomination she has be the most extreme hate-filled bigot imaginable.

So she has decided to publicly condemn her sister Mary who is in a same sex marriage with her longtime partner. Needless to say Mary isn’t all that impressed with Liz’s public pandering to scumbags and decided to let her know it publicly.

For their part Mommy and Daddy Cheney put out a statement today that basically says “politics first girls.” What a beautiful family they are huh? I can feel the warmth and love from here.

You know, I never really gave Liz Cheney much chance to oust sitting senator, far right-wing crazy Mike Enzi, but now I think she might. This kind of public scumbaggery probably gives her an advantage.

- Walmart! There is a Walmart in the Cleveland, OH area that is holding a food drive. Isn’t that a nice thing to do? A big, extremely profitable corporation is giving back to the community by holding a food drive for people who can’t afford to have a decent meal this Thanksgiving. That just makes me feel so good and frankly helps to restore my faith in humanity.

What? OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! They’re holding the food drive so Walmart employees can have a decent meal this Thanksgiving? One of the most profitable companies in the world pays its employees so little that they have to hold food drive for them? And that corporation is asking its customers “Hey, buy some extra groceries here at Walmart and then on your way out, put some food items in these bins for OUR EMPLOYEES!!!???

I fucking give up!

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What's Next for George Zimmerman

Holaaaaaaaaaaa y’all! So, I know what you guys are all thinking. You’re worried that George Zimmerman will forever be known as the guy who chased and eventually killed an unarmed black teenager named Trayvon Martin and his life is going to be sad and miserable. Nonsense! This is America people and there are always opportunities out there. Here’s a list of the things George might be able to do with his new found fame.

- Host a comedy podcast on BlogTalkRadio

- A new reality show on Bravo about an all-gay male nude dance troupe called The ZimmerMEN’s Folles.

- Other reality show ideas …

“On Patrol with George”

“Who’s Out There with George”

“Wandering the Streets with George”

“Fuck the Police with George”

“George Follows Black People Around”

- “Stand Your Ground” show every weekend hosted by George Zimmerman on Fox News

- Run for Sheriff of Seminole County Florida

- Become a mentor for Big Brothers/Big Sisters

- Gigolo

- Spokesman for the NRA

- New show on The Food Network “Cooking with George and Paula”

- Do a series of porn movies:

“George Comes at Night”

“George the Dick Stalker” (bi)

“George Knows how to Finish”

“George Gets Off”

“The Neighborhood Likes to Watch”

- Write a book?

“Why I Did It”

“I Didn’t Get Life”

“A Field Guide to Effective Neighborhood Watch Programs”

“In My Self Defense”

- And of course a new line of “The Zimmer” Hoodies

So, as you can see, George Zimmerman’s life is full of all kinds of opportunities to be happy and successful!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook.com/Jayman68
@Jayman_IWS

George Zimmerman is GUILTY!

Holaaaaaaa Bitches! Well we’re back full force here at the old IWS Radio website and I can feel the tension in the crowd. George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin and will be convicted and sent to jail. Everything is waiting for me to tell you WHY George Zimmerman is guilty. Well, I don’t know why. I just, I don’t know, had to go with either “Guilty” or “Innocent” and finally flipped a coin and it came up guilty. Which he is, you know. The Coin Gods said so.

Of course I haven’t watched a single minute of the trial, but I don’t have to. I know all the facts I need to know and can’t be bothered by silly things like the law, jury instructions, admissible evidence, witness testimony and all that boring shit. I flipped the coin and it came up heads for “Guilty” so that’s that.

Oh I would have watched the trial but dammit, I’m just not the legal experts you guys all are. I think the fact that you guys on Facebook and Twitter tend to disagree over legal definitions is probably further proof that you’re experts and really know your shit. Well, either that or you made up your minds long before the trial started and are only using the evidence presented to confirm your beliefs or be OUTRAGED at the lie the “other side” is telling in court. God forbid any of you people ever allow your beliefs to be challenged and consider the possibility that you’re wrong about something.

Anyhoodle, sometime over the next few days George Zimmerman will be convicted, acquitted or there will be a hung jury. Then there will be the required fake outrage, bullshit claims that people “read on the internet” and then we’ll all move on to the next big thing and forget all about George and the dead 17 year old kid “whatshisname.”

Which reminds me … The funny thing about that whole “sanctity of life’ crowd is that they always seem to be on the side of the killer. Well, unless the killer is a woman having an abortion, then they get serious about saving that fetus because “all life is precious.” Unless two years after the kid is born and it’s accidentally killed by someone who was playing with an unsecured gun in the house. Then, the “sanctity of life” crowd who believes that “all life is precious” won’t be anywhere to be found. But, I digress. 

I tell you one thing though, I sure as hell wouldn’t want my fate to be in the hands of an all-woman jury like old George’s is. Holy Hell! There’s no way THAT would end well. All the prosecution would have to do is read off a bunch of my old blog posts or some of the Babes of the Week from here and I would be toast.

Besides, I don’t do that well with women. Oh sure, at first things seem to go okay but after a bit I eventually say something that makes them sit and think and next thing you know, they don’t want to be alone with me. So weird.

You know what would be worst? An all-white woman jury! Oh God! Those angry Elisabeth Hasselbeck types would convict me on the basis of my hot Asian babes posts alone. Fucking racists!

Uhhh … what was I talking about? Oh yeah, George Zimmerman is guilty according to the Coin Gods. The jury? *shrugs shoulders* who knows or cares? Their verdict probably won’t matter to all the experts out there on Social Media anyway.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook.com/Jayman68
@Jayman_IWS