Every Change Has a Silver Lining

Cheeeeeeeers and a Happy Tuesday to all of you.  This is Tuesday, right?  I mean…

I am all confused of late as to what day it is because my routine has been altered, and I have yet to find my new day to day equilibrium.

Ya see?

After six months of being unemployed, a couple of weeks ago, my BFF/PSGF Schmoop returned to active duty in the world of jobdom, and I have yet to get used to it.

For nearly 180 days, Schmoop had been stationed within the Bagwine digs 24/7, and not only was I used to it, I liked it.  She would cook, clean, and more importantly, just always be there if something should arise.

And then she got a new job, which is wonderful both for her precarious mental health and our financial existence, but HOLY COW!!

I am not a rigid, train schedule, ABC, 123 kinda guy, but having somewhat of a routine is not a bad thing to have.

I was settled into a groove where Schmoop being off, she would make lunch before I went to the Beer Mine.  She would clean, grocery shop, or what have ya on certain days; she would help with the show every week whenever I needed her to, and well…she was always available to talk with.

And then?  BAM!!

This entire need for somewhat of a routine glaringly reared its ugly head yesterday as Jayman began our latest award winning IWS Radio Show, because...

In addition to the changes in my schedule precipitated by Schmoop going back to work, Jayman and I took a week or so off after our June 29th show.

With my mind already spinning and attempting to adapt to Schmoop not being around 24/7, and our hiatus from IWS Radio, I felt odd both prior to, during, and after yesterday’s show.

It’s funny…All day yesterday I felt like I was moving to a new section of town, entering a new grade in school, or getting a new job.  It just felt, for lack of a better word…weird.

I am not trying to be melodramatic, in fact, I find it funny that simple changes like Schmoop re-entering the workforce after a few months, which is a change for the better, can still upset the apple cart (or in this case, the potato salad cart) of one’s mindset.  Hell…Unlike Schmoop, I am not even the one experiencing the GREAT life altering change.

Oy.

I am in no way a guy who enjoys a gray and stolid continuum of life, but I do like to get into a solid and dependable groove, and when it’s working I work with it…and enjoy it.

I know I will soon get used to the changes and be able to function without my current discombobulating, but what I missed most yesterday during the show other than not being on my A-Game?

Every Sunday, Jay and I tout Schmoop as our LIVE studio audience, which she is.  However yesterday, she was just there, because she had to think about, and get ready to go to work.  I am going to miss her laughter in the background of our shows.

The greatest thing to come out of all of this, however? Sunday night when Schmoop got home, she said to me…

“I am off on Tuesday.  You get off at 4.  We can get Taco Bell, drink beer, and listen to Sunday’s show.  I miss you.”

Every change has a silver lining.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Public Urination, Pregnancy Tests and Babe Ruth on IWS Radio

You know, that first day back from vacation is always a struggle, right? You know HOW to do your job, but for some reason it takes more effort than it should. Well, hosting an award-winning internet radio show is the same thing. Oh sure, Matt and Jay were able to get into the studio without any trouble and the show started on time and shit, but they were a bit rusty for a few minutes there.

It didn’t take long though before Matt and Jay were bringing the funny just as fast and hard as usual. The chat room filled up nicely and the show’s correspondents came through nicely. Such professionals those guys are!

Vacation stories were wild and wacky too! Jay talked about one of his least manly moments ever when he drank a 7 oz Raz-Ber-Rita! (Editor’s note: NASTY!) Matt talked about a poor desperate young lady seeking pregnancy tests in all the wrong places. Then there was a discussion about how pregnancy tests and Plan B should be sold in package deals with liquor, a story about public urination and mamma getting’ her drank on!

One big highlight of the show were when IWS World Media Entertainment sent the IWS Action Time Machine back in time to get Babe Ruth and bring him to the present day to be interviewed by Slyder Ballzcock! That was a real treat right there! The other was when Buddy Acapella sang his very special rendition of "In the Deli" to IWS special guest star and good friend Schmoop. There wasn't a dry eye in the house when he was done! 

And that is barely the tip of the iceberg! This show was packed full of fun and frivolity and the surprising return of Brown Beasley! You KNOW you don’t want to miss that! Give it a listen! Please?

                              

                                       Discover Comedy Internet Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

IWS Person(s) of the Week...Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players

Jay, Matt, and Team IWS took a week off from the hectic and rambunctious world of internet radio stardom in order to enjoy a little down time, but today?  They are back on the airwaves and funnier than ever (if that's possible.)

And because of that...Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players are our IWS Persons of the Week...

Guy Ahnyurdyck enjoyed a little R and R last week with with Rihanna...

Our producer Dex Lexler enjoyed some Tecate and frivolity up at Hodgepodge Lodge...

One of our Bagwine office interns had his vacation plans take a turn for the worse...

We'll find out for sure today what Jayman did on his vay-cay, but he was thinking about doing a little drinking and fishing like Babe Ruth used to do...

Yep today from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio, the IWS Boys are back and feeling tan, rested, and ready to serve up some comedy...

So join Jay, Matt and the IWS Radio Team today LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET as they bring the funny and discuss their hilarious time away from stardom during the Our Vay-Cay Was Cray-Cray episode of IWS Radio.

To join the fun you can click right HERE!!

MSJS Gettin' Cray-Cray

Matt: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeers!
Jay: Holaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Matt: Long time no talk man.
Jay: Seems like it’s been years.
Matt: How long HAS it been?
Jay: 10 days?
Matt: Damn, where DOES the time go?
Jay: I don’t know man!
Matt: We can’t let so much time go by like that again.
Jay: Well …
Matt: WELL WHAT?
Jay: Well, there was Facebook and Twitter and
Matt: Yeah, but that’s not the same as a good old fashioned phone call!
Jay: Good point! People should just call 870-688-2906 anytime!
Matt: OR they could call 937-324-1798
Jay: Either number would result in a good time!
Matt: You know what number is an even BETTER TIME?
Jay: 661-244-9852 BITCHES!

Matt: Damn right! The IWS Radio hotline is open from 12-2 ET on Sundays!
Jay: And it will be again this Sunday!
Matt: Yeah, we have to get back at it before John Boehner sues us for not doing our jobs!
Jay: I’d like to see him try it!
Matt: We’re next on his list after Obama!
Jay: Bring it on!
Matt: We’ll kick his ass.
Jay: We’re WAYYYYYY more ruthless than Obama.
Matt: My cat Corky is more ruthless than Obama!
Jay: Cats can be pretty ruthless though.
Matt: My cardboard cutout Nigel is more ruthless than Obama!
Jay: OH SNAP!

Matt: Umm … what are we gonna talk about this week?
Jay: IDK man. Vacation has sapped my creativity.
Matt: Do you have any stories from your vacation?
Jay: Oh body do I!
Matt: I have a couple myself.
Jay: I think I see something coming together here!
Matt: It’s amazing how quickly we get back into it.
Jay: It’s just like sex, man. You can always get back into it quickly.
Matt: Damn right!
Jay and Matt: OR SO I’VE HEARD! Hey-OOOOOOO!
Jay: So I’ve got a trip to a distillery, public urination and beer.
Matt: I’ve got old man day drinking on Sunday and other stuff.
Jay: We can make that work.
Matt: Oh sure.
Jay: I bet our correspondents have vacation stories.
Matt: God only knows what a couple of them got into.
Jay: I’m almost afraid to ask.
Matt: And there’s the Deli Queen!
Jay: Mmmmmmmm … Deli Chicks are hot!
Matt: They know how to handle your meat!
Jay: Hey-OOOOOOOOO!
Matt: Maybe we can get some hot music action from Jaxxx?
Jay: Oh hell yes!
Matt: Dude, this is all coming together nicely.
Jay: I think we’re ready.
Matt: Let’s do it!

Be sure to tune into “Our Vay-Cay was Cray-Cray” on IWS Radio on Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!!

Dr. Gina Gentry Loudon Has Let Me Down

My buddy Gina Gentry Loudon likes to throw about nuggets of thought here and there, and here is one…

“Are you, like many, buying the mantra that the crisis on the border is really all about the children? Well you have company... 

“The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation.”
― Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

...but several million of them died because they believed those lies. #THINK”

--Gina Gentry Loudon

I rebutted to my friend…

Matt:  Oh c'mon...It's fine to hold whatever political and ideological stance in varying degrees on immigration and this current situation, but a Hitler reference? Unbelievable.

And she re-rebutted…

Gina Gentry Loudon:  I didn't make the reference. He did.

Perplexed, I went “in-depth”…

Matt Man:   Ha? What? Yes you did...You write that people who are buying some type of mantra on this influx of illegal immigrant children are in company with what Hitler said in Mein Kampf. Why nuance that? It's right there in your post, so stand behind it. Don't say that you didn't reference it.

Being the dumbass that I am, I never realized Dr. Gina had topic shifter prowess…

Gina Gentry Loudon:  Hey, Matt, there are a LOT of people like you. There always have been. There have to be for tyranny to flourish, and it always has.

And while she doesn't have a great command of the English language, she put me in my place as a tyrant…or something…and so did the other 140 tea party type guys on Facebook who want to get into her pants.

Here’s the thing…

I LIKED Gina Gentry Loudon but in addition to what you have just read, she is a big fan of Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin.

She told me that he is a good family guy.  I don’t know what that means in this case, or especially his case, but whatever...

As far as Todd Akin goes, and as far as I go, he’s a victim of self-legitimate rape and now he is pregnant with his own stupidity which he can carry around for years and years.

Yeah, I used to like Dr. Gina Loudon…but now?  Not so much…

And let me tell ya…There is only one way to describe her and her hands on the molding of the Tea Party…

"Would you like Gina, Tea, or Akin?”   No matter what you'd prefer; you’re having that baby, and that's that!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Cheesy Chicken and Rice Food Porn From IWS!

Holaaaaaaaaaa y’all! As you probably know, I’m quite the culinary genius. Okay, maybe genius is going a bit too far. That word is reserved brilliantly creative cooks like Matt-Man and his “Hot Dog, Tuna and Chili Supreme Pizza” masterpieces. Also for people like Sandra Lee who is sooooo much more than a “seems like if I just flatter her for a few minutes and get her to finish off three drinks I’ll get lucky” lush. Her food assembliescreations are AMAZIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Last night I might have taken a very important step towards joining Matt-Man and Sandra though. As if often the case, my culinary delight came about because of a mistake. A mistake in the form of my inability to get everything I need at the store even when I make a freaking list! Anyhoodle, after realizing I didn’t have everything I needed, I made something up. Here’s what I made.

Cheesy Stove Top Chicken, Rice, Peas and Mushrooms Casserole!

Here’s the ingredients list …

1 lb Boneless Skinless Chicken Tenders

1 Cup Minute Rice

1 Can of Peas

1 Can of Mushrooms

A Handful of Shredded Colby/Jack Cheese

1 Cup of Chicken Broth

Drain the peas and mushrooms and then chop the mushrooms up. Put one cup of chicken broth in a covered medium pot along with the peas and mushrooms and heat them through and then bring it to a boil. Throw in the cup of rice, stir thoroughly, cover again and remove from heat for at least five minutes. (Unless you use fancy rice that takes lots of time and effort to make, in that case just figure it out.)

In a skillet pour a bit (just eyeball it) of vegetable oil to lightly coat the pan. Season the chicken tenders with some garlic powder and Cavenders (or whatever crap you use on chicken) and blacken those things on medium heat cause chicken has no real flavor to it. Be sure to turn the chicken over and season both sides evenly and keep flipping the chicken so it will cook up nicely on both sides.

Now, simply cut up a couple of the chicken tenders on a plate, pour a decent amount of the rice concoction on it and then grab a handful off the shredded cheese and cover it with as much as you like. Be sure to put the cheese on while everything is still hot so it will melt. Stir it all up on the plate to ensure even cheese covering to hold it all together and then TA-DAAAAAAAA:

Now you can eat it with your mouth. Mmmmmmmm! (I should have put more cheese on it.) It serves a few to several people depending on how much you eat and how hungry everyone is.

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GOP Convention 2016...Cleveland, Ohio!! Really?

Cheeeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and it is good to be back writing upon the God-Graced pages of iwsradio.com…

As you know or may not know, Jayman and I took a few days off, and if you didn't know, that means you should follow us regularly and then you would know…ahem…Anyhoo…

Jayman wrote upon our award-winning website yesterday after our blog vacation of sorts, and I am doing so today.

I was going to cover what I did on my summer vacation, but when I heard that the RNC selected Cleveland, Ohio as the site for its 2016 GOP Presidential Convention, I along with Dr. Phil, was stupefied!!

My first thought, was that Republicans want to hold their Presidential candidate’s send-off within a city that has been shrinking in size for years and simply meanders and sprawls with no direction nor effectiveness.

However, I said to myself…“Self?…There has to be some type of mastery behind this choice.”  And I think I know what it is, and it is two words…

Silent Cal.

You see, recently the Republican Party, especially the tea party wing of the GOP, has become enamored with Calvin Coolidge.  He was a hands-off, free market kinda guy, who unwittingly lead America through some good times after Warren Harding had fucked a nation…And by fucked a nation?

I’m not talking about Harding’s role in the Teapot Dome Scandal; I am saying that Harding had sex with every damn woman in America.  Impressive…but not helpful.  Anyhoo…

Calvin Coolidge was the one who said, “the chief business of the American people is business.” Republicans admire him for that, and recently, a president who had been obscure for the most part, has become the idol and darling of the far right portion of the GOP.

Why do I mention Calvin Coolidge when after all, I began this post about the pick of Cleveland being the city to hold the 2016 GOP Republican Convention?

Because in 1924, the Republican party hosted their convention in Cleveland, Ohio.  Calvin Coolidge was its nominee.  And I’m telling you, the GOP in Cleveland in 2016 is going to be all over Calvin Coolidge like Warren Harding was all over Carrie Phillips.

I only hope that the GOP delegates take a grand tour of Cleveland while they are there…Perhaps Ted Cruz and John Cornyn could take a stroll down U.S. 42 West, and hear the colored girls go,"do-doo-doo do-dah do."

Maybe Lindsey Graham could get and give a big bear hug from and to Chief Wahoo.

And dammit….perhaps John McCain could sing “Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World” at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The Tea Party wing of the GOP holds sway and I think that that is why the GOP picked Cleveland. They are going to harken back to the days of Calvin Coolidge.  But remember GOP, Ol’ Silent Cal also said this…

“Of course, the accumulation of wealth cannot be justified as the chief end of existence…But we are compelled to recognize it as a means to well-nigh every desirable achievement. So long as wealth is made the means and not the end, we need not greatly fear it…”

Money is good, but it should not be our existence, and it should be used to achieve greatness.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

@mattmaniws@ymail.com
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