A List of Dream Guests to Interview

Hola y’all! You know what IWS Radio needs? Guests! Interesting, funny and smart guests from all walks of life. Matt and I can talk for two hours easily and it’s fun doing different characters and correspondents, but a good guest talking about an interesting topic would be nice every once in a while too. So here’s a quick list of some of the people I think it would be cool to get on the show.

1. Someone or Anyone who lives in Forkhill, Northern Ireland which is where my one half of my mother’s side of the family came from.

2. An activist who is trying to get marijuana and/or medical marijuana legalized.

3. Someone who has survived a plane crash.

4. A big city cop.

5. Strippers. Lots and lots of strippers.

6. Prostitute, call girl or escort. (Males are okay but only if they're gay.)

7. Female Porn Star or any woman who works or has worked in the porn industry as writer, director, talent scout or crew member. (No men cause they’re always total freaking douche bags.)

8. Big city cab driver.

9. Someone who has worked as a strategist or advisor on senate or presidential campaign.

10. Psychics and Clairvoyants.

11. Someone who has worked as a personal assistant or driver for crazy celebrities.

12. Current or former NFL or NBA player or Olympic athlete.

13.  Stand-up comic or comic writer or sitcoms, movies or The Daily Show or Colbert Report type show.

14. Pope Francis.

15. Professional gambler.

16. Someone who won the lottery.

17. Writers

18. Someone who works or worked for a cable news channel.

19. Rock ‘n Roll bands, singers, roadies or groupies.

20. Natalie Portman.

21. Someone who has been on Jeopardy! (Or other TV game shows.)

22. Someone who has worked at adult theaters/bookstores with good stories of weirdoes.

23. Someone who has been or is a carny.

24. Alternative and holistic medicine experts.

25. Really anyone who is funny or interesting who can bring a few listeners and will actually promote their appearance on she show.  Oh, and answer the damn phone when we call.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
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Speaking of IWS Radio we did a special Saturday show this week and it was nothing but charming down-home fun. Well that and a tech glitch that MIGHT have included some gentle cussing. Oh and Jay might have discussed his infection and trip to the doctor. Aaaaaand Matt discussed problems with the “Chip Guy.” On top of all that excitement Jamie called in and hung out with us and talked about celebrating Canada’s Thanksgiving Day today! Oh  ….. HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY CANADA!! Anyway, check the show out:

Find Additional Comedy Podcasts with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

IWS Person of the Week...Jayman

He's Steamy and infected...

He's Adventurous and yet, he has bugs...

He's downright pissed when his computer pukes, although maybe HE should be throwing up...

And then....Sometimes he's just downright creepy...

But that's okay, because authorities have picked up upon that...

It's good to know that Jayman is on antibiotics, and on the watchful eye of the government.  If we didn't have that, we would have Arkansans running amok.

And it 's even better knowing that Jayman is the IWS Person of the Week.  Because...

In spite of his pee-pee vaginitis, that boy did double time on today's radio show as he clicked out and then came back in!!

So, here's to Jayman, our IWS Person of the Week!!

National Coming Out Day

Cheeeeeers and Happy Friday Chuckleheads!!  You know what today is?

That’s right…

National Coming Out Day!!

And let me tell ya…

If I, as a fine heterosexual father whose kid hates me because I live in sin with a whore can acknowledge that I live a deviant and less than Godly lifestyle; other people who live, shall we say, a less than “righteous” lifestyle, should be able to man up as well.

Er…maybe “man up” is not the phrase…perhaps, “Sally forth, and admit that you are gay, or just a complete asshole.”, would be better.

Anyhoo…

Since today is National Coming Out Day, I would like to give a shout out to some folks who, with a nudge from me, will come out and admit that they are gay, or a complete asshole.

Corey Booker…Mayor of Newark, NJ., and candidate for the U.S. Senate from New Jersey?  You are one gay, mutha-shut-your mouth brutha.  Holy Cow Cor-Boy.

You are well-kempt.  Well-shaven.  Well-everything, and you are a media darling.  You want to hide your true sexuality behind your recent tweet toward a female stripper, but we all know…

You are the black, yet not too black Jim McGreevey, and we appreciate you keeping your gayness at home in Newark, and not taking up space at a rest stop along the New Jersey Turnpike where gay redneck truckers and gay redneck bikers coincidentally meet in order to show their manliness, curse Obama, and all the while, take it up the ass.

Seriously Corey...You are the Bruce Vlanch of New Jersey politics.  It's okay.  Take your Senatorial seat and/or Emmy and shut the hell up.

Sean Hannity…You know dude?  You need to come out and admit that you are biggest douche bag in the history of TV and Radio.  I call you a douche bag because, well…you have a vagina, and sometimes you need one.  You are a girly-man.  You keep saying…

“The Republican Party should do this, and the Republican Party can’t back down.  The Republican Party should elect this guy in District Whatevah.”  But…

As you proudly and incessantly say on your radio show…

“I am not a Republican.  I am a registered Conservative in the State of New York.”

You are, but…You only say that to give yourself cover.  You are a Republican through and through, and if they go down, you can conveniently say that you are not a Republican.

Grow some balls Sean, and conversely, could Sarah Palin please lose the balls that she thinks she has, and go back into the closet of pseudo-manliness?

She is going to be in New Jersey this weekend in order to campaign for Corey Booker’s Senate opponent, Steve Lonegan.

Call me crazy, but as self-aggrandizing as Corey Booker is, I don’t think an egotistical, vapid as the Sahara is dry, right wing numbskull, such as Sarah Palin is going to move the NJ Senate poll numbers much.

And lastly…You know who else should come out of the closet?

John Boehner.

I mean, c’mon…He grew up in the hardworking, blue-collar town of Cincinnati, and worked from dawn to dusk at his family’s bar.  And yet…

He cries often.

I’m thinking his family’s bar was a gay bar; because at real, true, American, straight bars…there is no crying.

It’s time to come out, Speaker Boehner...It's time to come out.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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Matt Said, Jay Said 1234567890

Matt: This is a bit forward don’t you think?
Jay: What?
Matt: Calling without permission.
Jay: I don’t need no stinkin’ permission.
Matt: Says who?
Jay: You!
Matt: Oh.
Jay: With your memory, you wouldn’t know if I was lying or not.
Matt: Very true.
Jay: Hey! Tomorrow is National Coming Out Day?
Matt: I know, I’m writing about it for Friday.
Jay: You’re coming out?
Matt: Eh, no, but there are some people who need to.
Jay: Oh, so you’re gonna shove them out of the closet.
Matt: Drag. I’m not  in the clo .. OH NEVER MIND!
Jay: I really never thought that would work on you.
Matt: I’m drinking Rose! No fair!
Jay: I’m cheap and dirty that way.
Matt: That’s hot!

Matt: Schmoop taking Friday off.
Jay: Need a day to prepare for having Matt home the whole day?
Matt: Exactly! And Sunday to recover.
Jay: Totally understandable.
Matt: What was for supper?
Jay: We call it dinner here.
Matt: What the fuck was for dinner?
Jay: That’s better. Chicken, bowtie pasta in a red sauce and garlic bread.
Matt: Delcious!
Jay: I love Italian food.
Matt: Are you wearing a track suit and plenty of bling?
Jay: It won’t taste right if I don’t.

Jay: A no-prep show this week?
Matt: That’s the plan.
Jay: I desperately want to prep now.
Matt: Not me.
Jay: Why should this week be any different?
Matt: Hey now!
Jay: Another cheap shot. I know.
Matt: So hurtful!
Jay: What ARE we gonna talk about though?
Matt: Just whatever.
Jay: Any audios?
Matt: Maybe, but probably not.
Jay: Calling anyone?
Matt: Party Marty.
Jay: Who won’t answer.
Matt: John Boehner.
Jay: Who won’t answer.
Matt: My ex?
Jay: God I hope she doesn’t answer.
Matt: Gold Jay! It would be GOLD!
Jay: I guess. Ha
Matt: Maybe we’ll call Drive-By Mikey out on his combine farming.
Jay: That could be fun.
Matt: There’s really no telling what might happen.
Jay: People better tune in then!!
Matt: Damn right they should!
Jay: And call us up!
Matt: Definitely!

So, don’t forget it’s a very special edition of IWS Radio onSATURDAY morning at 11 AM ET this week!! Be there or else! Please. 

Vacation is an Adventure

Hola y’all! Well, I did it! I took a 24 hour vacation from reality. Lots of people tried to stop me from making it by posting political shit on Facebook and Twitter and whathaveyou, but I just ignored it and went about my business. I didn’t go to any news or political sites and I didn’t read through my “News and Politics” list on Twitter.

GO ME!!

I’m sure you guys are all wondering what I did on my little break from reality. Well I tell ya what.  I spent most of my time thinking about some great adventures that I might go on!

I looked into the possibility of going to clown college and maybe joining a circus so I could travel all over the country bringing joy and happiness to kids of all ages…

But, then I remembered that clowns are creepy as hell so I rejected that idea. Next I thought about running off to Vegas and becoming a blackjack dealer …

That doesn’t seem too bad except that you have to deal with the general public in that job so that’s out too. How ‘bout running off to Vegas and becoming a professional blackjack player? I could play at her table every night…

Hit me baby! This one has promise if my math skills are good enough. It’ll be close. If I want a REAL adventure though, I could run off and join the French Foreign Legion …

Whoa! What a wild time that would be. Well, until I got killed in some faraway desert and buried in an unmarked grave. That would probably happen on like the second day too. Okay, screw that idea. I know! I’ll become the next James Bond 007 …

Heh. Another profession that would only last a day or so. Maybe I’m dreaming too big. I guess I’ll just stay home and create my own adventure. Like maybe I’ll sign up at Heathcare.gov and see what’s what when it comes to Obamacare…

Oh well. So much for adventure.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
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@Jayman_IWS 

The Washington Redskins Name Should Not Go up in Smoke!!

Cheeeeeeeeers and Happy Hump Day Chuckleheads!!

Whether you are a sports fan or not, or more particularly, a football fan or not, you probably have heard that once again as happens every so often, that some folks want the Washington Redskins to change the name of their NFL franchise.

Every few years or so, this Native American sports moniker issue comes up, and has upon occasion come up with other sports teams from the High School level up to and including the professional level.

Well…As typical, the Washington Redskins are on the hot bench again as they are being attacked and ambushed through every media outlet known to man, by the heap big Oneida Indian Nation of upstate New York.

The Oneida Nation has spent much wampum buying ads that tout their outrage over the name “Redskins”, and are demanding that Washington Redskins majority owner Dan Snyder, change the name of his team…a team and business, that he owns…to something else.

Some members of Congress and other elected officials have even decided to walk down the Anti-Redskins political correctness Trail of Tears and have sent letters and smoke signals to Snyder asking him to change the name.

Hell, just the other day, even President Obama was asked whether the Redskins should change their name. The President replied that if he was the owner, he would consider changing it…perhaps…maybe mull it over.

Translation?

“I probably would, but since Northern Virginia and D.C. are bluer than hell electoral wise, love their Redskins, and don’t want a name change, Ima gonna do a rain dance around this issue.  Now pass me the Peace Pipe because the government shutdown and the looming debt ceiling crisis make me want to smoke.”

Listen…

I am sure to some Native Americans, the word may be offensive, but the word in its origin (nearly 400 years ago) was not, and was only made derogatory for a short period of time by a couple of authors in the early 20th Century.

Like most Americans, and most Native Americans, when I hear the term, the Washington Redskins, I don’t think of rabid American Indians on a scalping binge, I think of a lackluster NFL football team, and that’s all.

On the other side of the argument, I hear folks say…

“Well, you’d be up in arms if they were called, The Washington Niggers!!”

To which I say…Yes, I would be up in arms, and I wouldn’t watch them…and neither would most other Americans, and the franchise wouldn’t survive, because that term connotes nothing but hate.

Redskins on the other hand?  Eh…Look at the logo…It’s not a disrespectful logo.

At least here in West Central Ohio where I have grown up and spent my entire life, Indians are revered. And I say Indians because we don’t call them Native Americans much.  We call them Indians and their people are a rich ingredient of our history.

This area is the cradle of the Shawnee, the Miami, the Ottawa, the Delaware, and the Wyandot tribes among others.  It’s home to Tecumseh, to Cornstalk, and to Blue Jacket, and that is why the Columbus Blue Jackets of the NHL are thusly named.  Great leaders of men, one and all.  And we respect them here in Ohio, and...

I am pretty sure that Washington Redskins fans have no ill will against “the Red Man” either.  Win or lose, they love their Redskins.

Dan Snyder can do whatever he wants, which of course knowing Dan Snyder he will, but I say keep the name the same.  It’s a nickname and the logo is much more respectful than that of the Cleveland Indians…

However, if pressure comes to bear and Snyder can take it no longer, he could always change the Redskins name to something else that involves animals or nature, and do it with a big ol' screw you to the PC Police…

Something like...

The Washington Sitting Bulls.

The Washington Red Clouds, or…my favorite…

The Washington Crazy Horses!!

Of course, if RG III gets hurts again, Snyder could always name his team…

The Washington Wounded Knees.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

A Vacation Sounds Like a Brilliant Idea!

Hola y’all! Yesterday Matt-Man told everyone about his bigvacation plans this Saturday. Well, let me to you what folks! I’m going on vacation too! Hell yes! My vacation is gonna be a little different from Matt’s though.

I don’t have any big plans to grab a hot babe like Schmoop and have a decadent breakfast buffet. I don’t have any plans to just kick back and drink beer and watch football all day either. Wait, I might do that. We’ll see. I don’t plan on going out of town, getting a room at a fancy hotel, ordering room service and then making it rain sprinkle on a single mama down at the strip gentlemen’s club. Although that does sound like a nice evening out, amirite? I’m not doing any of that stuff.

I’m taking a vacation from reality for 48 hours.

Damn right! At the very moment that this blog post goes live, I will be deleting the “News and Politics” list on my Twitter and ignoring everything that is going on. I won’t turn on the news or the cable news channels either. I won’t even listen to ANY podcasts just in case someone on one of them mentions reality.

I’m not going to check any of the news or political websites either. Nor will I turn on the radio. Not even sports radio because those bastards always love to sneak in political shit. I’m not going to watch, read or listen to anything that might piss me off or make me sad. This includes assholes on social media. Anyone tweets or posts something to Facebook that is stupid or pisses me off gets unfollowed, defriended or put on mute for the remainder of my vacation.

What am I going to do with my free time you ask? Well, I’m going to watch YouTube videos, read and watch “Breaking Bad” or something on Netflix. If I happen upon some news or political shit by accident, I will offset it by kitten and puppy videos and pictures. That’s the only antidote out there.

Hell if worse comes to worse I’ll even watch some playoff baseball. JUST KIDDING! Baseball sucks. I’m sure I’ll find plenty of things to keep me distracted from all the terrible news happening all over the world. In fact, I highly recommend that everyone take a 48 vacation from reality too. I’m sure you’ll love it. And, if YOU are on vacation too, you’re much less likely to say or do something that pisses me off. See how great this works?

Now that I think about it, some fast food might be in order during my vacation. I might have to run through McDonalds and get a number six with no onions. Oh wait, they changed their menu so I don’t know which number is for the double cheeseburger anymore. This is a perfect time to find out! Or maybe I’ll try out those new Satisfries at Burger King! No, I better not. Nothing would suck more than being on vacation and trying some new-fangled french fries and hate them so strike that off the list. Maybe I’ll just have me a few beers too. A few Coors Lights would definitely help me get away from reality for a couple of nights.

As I mentioned earlier referencing Matt’s vacation of watching football, I might do that too. Since we’re doing the show on Saturday instead of Sunday, I might take a second vacation from reality on Sunday. I might just sleep late, have a frozen pizza for lunch and then drink beer and watch NFL all afternoon and completely and total ignore the entire rest of the world for the whole day.  Oh damn! That sounds brilliant.

I’m totally taking TWO vacations this week!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
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