Are You Hot Enough to Handle Two Hours with Jayman?

Cheeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and a Happy Tuesday to you all.

This past Sunday (per usual) Jay, myself, and the brilliant and hard working staff at IWS Radio put on yet another award-winning radio show, however…

A temporary tragedy has befallen us.  I have to work this Sunday because the new employee at the Beer Mine will be on vacation, so the March 30th show is hanging in the balance.

There are some options as to what to do this Sunday.

1.  We could do a show Sunday night at 8 P.M.

2.  We could take the week off, and not have a show.

Or…

3.  Jayman could do the show at our normal Noon-2 PM ET time slot with a guest co-host!!

Frankly my friends, I prefer option 3, and if we go that route, I want to toss out a couple of names of people who would make an excellent co-host (or not) to work with Jayman this Sunday.

1.  Blanche Lincoln.  That’s right. Being a fellow Arkansan, Jayman would feel right at home with the sultry former Senator from Arkansas.  The only drawback to Mizz Lincoln?

Although she looks likes a man and sounds like a man, Jayman finds her hot and she may be far too distracting during the show.

2.  Vladimir Putin.  Putin is a badass, and he would bring an edginess to the show that would bring out the inner-Bad Boy in Jayman. Unfortunately, Putin is also too much of a downer for a comedy show.  If only Boris Yeltsin was still alive. That would be comedy GOLD!!

3.  Al Roker.  I hate Al Roker, but I would love to hear Jayman ask him…“You know?  We’ve never had a fake weatherman on the IWS Radio Show.”  Roker would reply, “Bullshit…You have Kirk Douglas on here pretending to be a weatherman.”  And Jayman would respond, “Damn right, and if Kirk was here in studio with us, he would kick your ass for that comment.”

4.  Frank Bonner.  That’s right, WKRP’s very own Herb Tarlek.  Another fellow Arkansan who has ignored our requests to appear on our show over and over.  Perhaps, since Mr. Bonner really isn’t doing anything these days, the title of co-host on IWS Radio instead of being a mere guest would entice him to be on our show.

5.  James Garner.  A man whom we have reported so many damn times as being dead…you’d think he’d like to come on the show with Jayman just to prove us wrong!!

6.  Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis, and/or Natalie Portman.  If all, or any of these three hotties were co-hosting the show with Jayman, we’d have to title the episode…“Drooling and Masturbating with Jayman.”

Actually…That would be ratings gold, but following the show, BTR would probably exercise their terms of use agreement and kick us off the air permanently.

Lastly, and drum roll please….

7.  Saving the best for last, if she wanted to, Jayman could spend two hours…120 minutes…an afternoon of non-stop hilarity with…our favorite Canadian, Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaamie!!

Jamie is the Belle of the Ball, and the most awesome chick in Hammer Town, Canada.  Jamie could just read articles out of Popular Mechanics, Car and Driver, and Consumer Reports, and her voice would send the audience into a North of the Border frenzy unseen since the days of Pamela Anderson’s last breast augmentation.

So there you have it.  A few ideas for Jayman and the IWS Radio Show for this coming Sunday.

Enjoy your Tuesday, and whatever happens, we will as always, bring you the news first, fast, and factual.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page  

Person of the Week: Jesus Christ!

IWS Radio is proud to announce that our Person of the Week is the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the Prince of Peace himself …. Jesus Christ!!

Jesus was born a really long time ago in Bethlehem (or Nazarene or Galilee or whatever) sometime between early fall and late spring, but we celebrate his birthday on December 25^th!!

Jesus was a great guy who liked to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. He turned water into wine then got drunk and tipped over the bingo tables and drove out the money changers. Then he went and hung out with the strippers and hookers and other sinners. (Just like Jayman does!)

He is also the all-time Hide-and-Seek champion of the WORRLLLLLLDDDD!

So, from all us here at IWS Radio, a very sincere and heartfelt Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

Don’t forget to join us for a Holly Jolly Festivus as we continue to celebrate Christmas and throw in a little Festivus at 12 Noon ET on IWS Radio!!!

A List of Dream Guests to Interview

Hola y’all! You know what IWS Radio needs? Guests! Interesting, funny and smart guests from all walks of life. Matt and I can talk for two hours easily and it’s fun doing different characters and correspondents, but a good guest talking about an interesting topic would be nice every once in a while too. So here’s a quick list of some of the people I think it would be cool to get on the show.

1. Someone or Anyone who lives in Forkhill, Northern Ireland which is where my one half of my mother’s side of the family came from.

2. An activist who is trying to get marijuana and/or medical marijuana legalized.

3. Someone who has survived a plane crash.

4. A big city cop.

5. Strippers. Lots and lots of strippers.

6. Prostitute, call girl or escort. (Males are okay but only if they're gay.)

7. Female Porn Star or any woman who works or has worked in the porn industry as writer, director, talent scout or crew member. (No men cause they’re always total freaking douche bags.)

8. Big city cab driver.

9. Someone who has worked as a strategist or advisor on senate or presidential campaign.

10. Psychics and Clairvoyants.

11. Someone who has worked as a personal assistant or driver for crazy celebrities.

12. Current or former NFL or NBA player or Olympic athlete.

13.  Stand-up comic or comic writer or sitcoms, movies or The Daily Show or Colbert Report type show.

14. Pope Francis.

15. Professional gambler.

16. Someone who won the lottery.

17. Writers

18. Someone who works or worked for a cable news channel.

19. Rock ‘n Roll bands, singers, roadies or groupies.

20. Natalie Portman.

21. Someone who has been on Jeopardy! (Or other TV game shows.)

22. Someone who has worked at adult theaters/bookstores with good stories of weirdoes.

23. Someone who has been or is a carny.

24. Alternative and holistic medicine experts.

25. Really anyone who is funny or interesting who can bring a few listeners and will actually promote their appearance on she show.  Oh, and answer the damn phone when we call.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

Speaking of IWS Radio we did a special Saturday show this week and it was nothing but charming down-home fun. Well that and a tech glitch that MIGHT have included some gentle cussing. Oh and Jay might have discussed his infection and trip to the doctor. Aaaaaand Matt discussed problems with the “Chip Guy.” On top of all that excitement Jamie called in and hung out with us and talked about celebrating Canada’s Thanksgiving Day today! Oh  ….. HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY CANADA!! Anyway, check the show out:

Find Additional Comedy Podcasts with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

Matt Said, Jay Said 5318008

Matt blathers, Jay blathers, You are mildly amused.

Matt: Seriously?
Jay: Reaaaaaaly?
Matt: How the hell are ya?
Jay: Freaking awesome!
Matt: That’s great!
Jay: IKR?!
Matt: You’re lying aren’t you?
Jay: Kinda.
Matt: Awwwww … What’s wrong?
Jay: Oh nothing really. Life is just hard, that’s all.
Matt: Oh if that’s all it is then … Suck it up big boy!
Jay: *sigh* … Yeah.
Matt: Oh that’s just pathetic.
Jay: Let me open a Pepsi. That always picks me up a bit.
Matt: There you go. Do what makes you happy!
Jay: Good advice!
Matt: I’m full of great advice. For other people.
Jay: Ha! Me too. Actually, my advice usually sucks.
Matt: Oh God! Here we go …
Jay: Actually, people are bad at taking my advice.
Matt: There you go! Blame others.
Jay: That does make it all better.
Matt: That’s why I do it.

Jay: So how are things witchu?

Matt: Well I guess I have to say fine now!
Jay: Why?
Matt: You’re sympathy well is pretty dry right now.
Jay: Oh I don’t know. I’m a pretty sympathetic guy.
Matt: Well things are fine here.
Jay: THAT’S JUST FUCKING GREAT!
Matt: Yeah, it is.
Jay: I’M FUCKING GLAD TO HEAR IT.
Matt: Why thank you. I knew you cared.
Jay: I do actually.
Matt: I know you do.
Jay: I care TOO much actually.
Matt: Aaaaand here we go again.
Jay: No, no, no. I’m not gonna bum everyone out.
Matt: I appreciate that.

Jay: Got any topic ideas?
Matt: Well, I’ve got a few things to talk about.
Jay: That’s good. Me too.
Matt: We need a big topic though.
Jay: Something to bring it all together.
Matt: I’m in the mood for …
Jay: Pizza?
Matt: No.
Jay: Beer?
Matt: No.
Jay: Music?
Matt: No.
Jay: What’s left?
Matt: Looooooooooove!
Jay: Okay, I’ll hold.
Matt: Noooooooo! Let’s talk about love!
Jay: Ohhhhh people we love.
Matt: Loved and lost!
Jay: Unrequited love!
Matt: Lovers vs. Friends!
Jay: Men and Women as friends?
Matt: Yeah!
Jay: Oh hell yes! We can do this.
Matt: It’ll be kind of like Woodstock.
Jay: Summer of Love!
Matt: There we go!
Jay: Brilliant!
Matt: Let’s do this!
Jay: Hell yeah! 

So, be sure to tune into “Summer of Love” on IWS Radio this Sunday at 12 Noon ET!