Vacation is an Adventure

Hola y’all! Well, I did it! I took a 24 hour vacation from reality. Lots of people tried to stop me from making it by posting political shit on Facebook and Twitter and whathaveyou, but I just ignored it and went about my business. I didn’t go to any news or political sites and I didn’t read through my “News and Politics” list on Twitter.

GO ME!!

I’m sure you guys are all wondering what I did on my little break from reality. Well I tell ya what.  I spent most of my time thinking about some great adventures that I might go on!

I looked into the possibility of going to clown college and maybe joining a circus so I could travel all over the country bringing joy and happiness to kids of all ages…

But, then I remembered that clowns are creepy as hell so I rejected that idea. Next I thought about running off to Vegas and becoming a blackjack dealer …

That doesn’t seem too bad except that you have to deal with the general public in that job so that’s out too. How ‘bout running off to Vegas and becoming a professional blackjack player? I could play at her table every night…

Hit me baby! This one has promise if my math skills are good enough. It’ll be close. If I want a REAL adventure though, I could run off and join the French Foreign Legion …

Whoa! What a wild time that would be. Well, until I got killed in some faraway desert and buried in an unmarked grave. That would probably happen on like the second day too. Okay, screw that idea. I know! I’ll become the next James Bond 007 …

Heh. Another profession that would only last a day or so. Maybe I’m dreaming too big. I guess I’ll just stay home and create my own adventure. Like maybe I’ll sign up at Heathcare.gov and see what’s what when it comes to Obamacare…

Oh well. So much for adventure.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS 

What Does the GOP Want?

Hola all you political junkies and casual observers out there! So here we are, once again on the verge of a possible government shutdown because the GOP believes that no matter how many elections they lose, and no matter of small a percentage of the people agree with them, they should get everything they want. The question is “What does the GOP want?” Well, the defunding of Obamacare is the obvious answer, but there are a number of other things that they want too…

- For all women to have to formally request permission to have sex anytime they want to. The request will be made to the highest ranking white male elected official from the state. The information will be made public so everyone knows which of your female coworkers and friends to scorn the next day and which men to high five.

- A HUGE sign at every single point of entry into the country that reads “Welcome to America! The greatest country on Earth. NO HOMOS!”

- Twerking lessons for Michele and Marcus Bachmann. Mostly they’re for Marcus. Also, Lindsay Graham.

- To make it illegal to Tweet “spoilers” of any TV show or live awards show until the people on the west coast have had a chance to see the show.

- For the federal government to legally declare that a fetus is a person with all the same rights and protections under the law as everyone else. The same law will also declare school aged children to be “parasites” and therefore not deserving of or eligible for any social programs like food stamps or school lunches.

- If they can’t get a complete defunding or even delay of Obamacare, they will ask if it can at least be limited to people in the top tax brackets only.

- While they’re in a repealing mood, the GOP will also see if they can repeal the Americans With Disabilities Act, the Civil Right Act, the Voting Rights Act and the 14^th, 15^th and 19^th Amendments.

- “Means Testing” of Medicare and Social Security. By “means testing” they mean only people WITH financial means will be eligible.

- To be notified before anyone else when there is “fresh meat” at their favorite strip clubs.

- The elimination of the designated hitter rule in the American League.

- Every network must show nothing but “Little House on the Prairie,” “Andy Griffith,” “The Flinstones” and “The Lawrence Welk Show” every night.

- To have everyone in the Kardashian family deported. Wait, that’s my demand. Sorry.

- For Cable News to be limited to Fox News and Nancy Grace. All other shows and networks outlawed.

- For Saturday Night Live to be cancelled.

- The elimination of all these silly “defenseless player” and so-called “concussion” rules.

- For NetFlix to be required to stream “The Shield.” (Sorry, that’s another one of mine.)

- Finally, for the Bill of Rights to be replaced with The Ten Commandments. (All white males and elected officials will be exempted of course.)

Seems reasonable to me, right?

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

In other news, we put on yet another quality show on IWS Radio yesterday. We celebrated Confucius Day by sharing some of the deep wisdom of his lesser known brother Profucius! We also checked in with Ted Cruz throughout the show to hear what he was talking about today. Then got the first ever Smugly Superior with Dana report which was awesome and belittling of all you Breaking Bad morons out there. We paid tribute to the McLaughlin Group and the Saturday Night Live sketches based on that show.  Brown Beasley called in for a bit and we spent the rest of the show engaging in all kinds of fun and games. Definitely check it out …

Current Comedy Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

IWS Person of the Week...Sen. Ted Cruz

The news coming out of Washington, D.C. of late can be summed up in two words...TED CRUZ.

Damn right.  U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) is a Cuban-Canadian turned Lone Star State maverick which means of course, he is one bad ass mutha-Shut Yer Mouth, eh?

He stood on the Senate floor this past week and for 21+ hours and spewed his righteous indignation toward the Black Magic of Obamacare and at anachronistic legislators whose relevance has long passed.

Some would prefer to run away and hide from the brutal truth and painfully prophetic words of Sen. Cruz. But he is blocking the door...

Oh sure, some people, Democrats and Republicans alike have tried to turn Ted Cruz into some sort of crazy, self-promoting monster, however...

When he is not being a human bullhorn for truth, justice, and the American Way, Teddy is a gentle, caring man, and a great listener.

You know you want him, and pay no never mind to his playful coyness, this charming Harvard grad knows that you want him too...

Congratulations and Godspeed to Sen. Ted Cruz.  This week's, IWS Person of the Week!!

Don't forget to catch Jay and Matt on the IWS Radio Show today from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio. They have a HUGE line-up for you on this week's Cussin' the Egg Rolls episode.  How so, you ask? Well...

Today is Confucius Day kids! How exciting is that?  Confucius' lesser known brother Profucius will be with us to share his very special kind of wisdom with our vast and diverse worldwide audience along with celebrating all that is great about China. We'll also be checking in to see if Ted Cruz is still talking, and have a special edition of The McLaughlin Group!

We'll explore the Sensual Side of Life with Drew Peacock and of course visit the Poet's Corner with Paul Piatt, AAAAAANNNNDDDD a first ever "Smugly Superior w/ Dana" report!

It's also International Coffee Day and National River something day so we'll have a few thoughts on that too.

Plus, we'll take YOUR CALLS!!!

You can join the fun and hilarity LIVE today from Noon-2 PM ET by clicking HERE!!