MSJS Gettin' Cray-Cray

Matt: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeers!
Jay: Holaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Matt: Long time no talk man.
Jay: Seems like it’s been years.
Matt: How long HAS it been?
Jay: 10 days?
Matt: Damn, where DOES the time go?
Jay: I don’t know man!
Matt: We can’t let so much time go by like that again.
Jay: Well …
Matt: WELL WHAT?
Jay: Well, there was Facebook and Twitter and
Matt: Yeah, but that’s not the same as a good old fashioned phone call!
Jay: Good point! People should just call 870-688-2906 anytime!
Matt: OR they could call 937-324-1798
Jay: Either number would result in a good time!
Matt: You know what number is an even BETTER TIME?
Jay: 661-244-9852 BITCHES!

Matt: Damn right! The IWS Radio hotline is open from 12-2 ET on Sundays!
Jay: And it will be again this Sunday!
Matt: Yeah, we have to get back at it before John Boehner sues us for not doing our jobs!
Jay: I’d like to see him try it!
Matt: We’re next on his list after Obama!
Jay: Bring it on!
Matt: We’ll kick his ass.
Jay: We’re WAYYYYYY more ruthless than Obama.
Matt: My cat Corky is more ruthless than Obama!
Jay: Cats can be pretty ruthless though.
Matt: My cardboard cutout Nigel is more ruthless than Obama!
Jay: OH SNAP!

Matt: Umm … what are we gonna talk about this week?
Jay: IDK man. Vacation has sapped my creativity.
Matt: Do you have any stories from your vacation?
Jay: Oh body do I!
Matt: I have a couple myself.
Jay: I think I see something coming together here!
Matt: It’s amazing how quickly we get back into it.
Jay: It’s just like sex, man. You can always get back into it quickly.
Matt: Damn right!
Jay and Matt: OR SO I’VE HEARD! Hey-OOOOOOO!
Jay: So I’ve got a trip to a distillery, public urination and beer.
Matt: I’ve got old man day drinking on Sunday and other stuff.
Jay: We can make that work.
Matt: Oh sure.
Jay: I bet our correspondents have vacation stories.
Matt: God only knows what a couple of them got into.
Jay: I’m almost afraid to ask.
Matt: And there’s the Deli Queen!
Jay: Mmmmmmmm … Deli Chicks are hot!
Matt: They know how to handle your meat!
Jay: Hey-OOOOOOOOO!
Matt: Maybe we can get some hot music action from Jaxxx?
Jay: Oh hell yes!
Matt: Dude, this is all coming together nicely.
Jay: I think we’re ready.
Matt: Let’s do it!

Be sure to tune into “Our Vay-Cay was Cray-Cray” on IWS Radio on Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!!

Dr. Gina Gentry Loudon Has Let Me Down

My buddy Gina Gentry Loudon likes to throw about nuggets of thought here and there, and here is one…

“Are you, like many, buying the mantra that the crisis on the border is really all about the children? Well you have company... 

“The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation.”
― Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

...but several million of them died because they believed those lies. #THINK”

--Gina Gentry Loudon

I rebutted to my friend…

Matt:  Oh c'mon...It's fine to hold whatever political and ideological stance in varying degrees on immigration and this current situation, but a Hitler reference? Unbelievable.

And she re-rebutted…

Gina Gentry Loudon:  I didn't make the reference. He did.

Perplexed, I went “in-depth”…

Matt Man:   Ha? What? Yes you did...You write that people who are buying some type of mantra on this influx of illegal immigrant children are in company with what Hitler said in Mein Kampf. Why nuance that? It's right there in your post, so stand behind it. Don't say that you didn't reference it.

Being the dumbass that I am, I never realized Dr. Gina had topic shifter prowess…

Gina Gentry Loudon:  Hey, Matt, there are a LOT of people like you. There always have been. There have to be for tyranny to flourish, and it always has.

And while she doesn't have a great command of the English language, she put me in my place as a tyrant…or something…and so did the other 140 tea party type guys on Facebook who want to get into her pants.

Here’s the thing…

I LIKED Gina Gentry Loudon but in addition to what you have just read, she is a big fan of Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin.

She told me that he is a good family guy.  I don’t know what that means in this case, or especially his case, but whatever...

As far as Todd Akin goes, and as far as I go, he’s a victim of self-legitimate rape and now he is pregnant with his own stupidity which he can carry around for years and years.

Yeah, I used to like Dr. Gina Loudon…but now?  Not so much…

And let me tell ya…There is only one way to describe her and her hands on the molding of the Tea Party…

"Would you like Gina, Tea, or Akin?”   No matter what you'd prefer; you’re having that baby, and that's that!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
Friend Me on Facebook
Tweet Me on Twitter 

Cheesy Chicken and Rice Food Porn From IWS!

Holaaaaaaaaaa y’all! As you probably know, I’m quite the culinary genius. Okay, maybe genius is going a bit too far. That word is reserved brilliantly creative cooks like Matt-Man and his “Hot Dog, Tuna and Chili Supreme Pizza” masterpieces. Also for people like Sandra Lee who is sooooo much more than a “seems like if I just flatter her for a few minutes and get her to finish off three drinks I’ll get lucky” lush. Her food assembliescreations are AMAZIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Last night I might have taken a very important step towards joining Matt-Man and Sandra though. As if often the case, my culinary delight came about because of a mistake. A mistake in the form of my inability to get everything I need at the store even when I make a freaking list! Anyhoodle, after realizing I didn’t have everything I needed, I made something up. Here’s what I made.

Cheesy Stove Top Chicken, Rice, Peas and Mushrooms Casserole!

Here’s the ingredients list …

1 lb Boneless Skinless Chicken Tenders

1 Cup Minute Rice

1 Can of Peas

1 Can of Mushrooms

A Handful of Shredded Colby/Jack Cheese

1 Cup of Chicken Broth

Drain the peas and mushrooms and then chop the mushrooms up. Put one cup of chicken broth in a covered medium pot along with the peas and mushrooms and heat them through and then bring it to a boil. Throw in the cup of rice, stir thoroughly, cover again and remove from heat for at least five minutes. (Unless you use fancy rice that takes lots of time and effort to make, in that case just figure it out.)

In a skillet pour a bit (just eyeball it) of vegetable oil to lightly coat the pan. Season the chicken tenders with some garlic powder and Cavenders (or whatever crap you use on chicken) and blacken those things on medium heat cause chicken has no real flavor to it. Be sure to turn the chicken over and season both sides evenly and keep flipping the chicken so it will cook up nicely on both sides.

Now, simply cut up a couple of the chicken tenders on a plate, pour a decent amount of the rice concoction on it and then grab a handful off the shredded cheese and cover it with as much as you like. Be sure to put the cheese on while everything is still hot so it will melt. Stir it all up on the plate to ensure even cheese covering to hold it all together and then TA-DAAAAAAAA:

Now you can eat it with your mouth. Mmmmmmmm! (I should have put more cheese on it.) It serves a few to several people depending on how much you eat and how hungry everyone is.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Friend me on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter

GOP Convention 2016...Cleveland, Ohio!! Really?

Cheeeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and it is good to be back writing upon the God-Graced pages of iwsradio.com…

As you know or may not know, Jayman and I took a few days off, and if you didn't know, that means you should follow us regularly and then you would know…ahem…Anyhoo…

Jayman wrote upon our award-winning website yesterday after our blog vacation of sorts, and I am doing so today.

I was going to cover what I did on my summer vacation, but when I heard that the RNC selected Cleveland, Ohio as the site for its 2016 GOP Presidential Convention, I along with Dr. Phil, was stupefied!!

My first thought, was that Republicans want to hold their Presidential candidate’s send-off within a city that has been shrinking in size for years and simply meanders and sprawls with no direction nor effectiveness.

However, I said to myself…“Self?…There has to be some type of mastery behind this choice.”  And I think I know what it is, and it is two words…

Silent Cal.

You see, recently the Republican Party, especially the tea party wing of the GOP, has become enamored with Calvin Coolidge.  He was a hands-off, free market kinda guy, who unwittingly lead America through some good times after Warren Harding had fucked a nation…And by fucked a nation?

I’m not talking about Harding’s role in the Teapot Dome Scandal; I am saying that Harding had sex with every damn woman in America.  Impressive…but not helpful.  Anyhoo…

Calvin Coolidge was the one who said, “the chief business of the American people is business.” Republicans admire him for that, and recently, a president who had been obscure for the most part, has become the idol and darling of the far right portion of the GOP.

Why do I mention Calvin Coolidge when after all, I began this post about the pick of Cleveland being the city to hold the 2016 GOP Republican Convention?

Because in 1924, the Republican party hosted their convention in Cleveland, Ohio.  Calvin Coolidge was its nominee.  And I’m telling you, the GOP in Cleveland in 2016 is going to be all over Calvin Coolidge like Warren Harding was all over Carrie Phillips.

I only hope that the GOP delegates take a grand tour of Cleveland while they are there…Perhaps Ted Cruz and John Cornyn could take a stroll down U.S. 42 West, and hear the colored girls go,"do-doo-doo do-dah do."

Maybe Lindsey Graham could get and give a big bear hug from and to Chief Wahoo.

And dammit….perhaps John McCain could sing “Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World” at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The Tea Party wing of the GOP holds sway and I think that that is why the GOP picked Cleveland. They are going to harken back to the days of Calvin Coolidge.  But remember GOP, Ol’ Silent Cal also said this…

“Of course, the accumulation of wealth cannot be justified as the chief end of existence…But we are compelled to recognize it as a means to well-nigh every desirable achievement. So long as wealth is made the means and not the end, we need not greatly fear it…”

Money is good, but it should not be our existence, and it should be used to achieve greatness.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

@mattmaniws@ymail.com
Friend Me on Facebook
Tweet Me

Miley Cyrus Bangerz on NBC Review

Holaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa y’all! I know it seemed like IWS would never return, but we have! I hope everyone’s Fourth of July weekend was as fun and exciting as mine was. It was full of family, burgers, brats, bourbon, beer, ice cream and laughs. Aaaaaaaaaand, just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, on Sunday night I found out that NBC was airing a Miley Cyrus special! Squeeeeeeeeee!

Over the last few years NBC has been the most forward-thinking of the major networks and proves it again by airing a Miley Cyrus special including lots of footage from her Bangerz Tour shot in Barcelona. While CBS continues to produce shows for old people and ABC is being kept afloat by Sofia Vergara’s boobs, NBC is actually putting together programing that people are interested in. After hitting home runs with Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers, the folks at 30 Rockefeller Center knocked another one out of the park with this Miley special.

It all starts with Miley waxing philosophical about her place in the music and entertainment world. “When they’re there and I see the faces, I feel like they’re learning… and they feel safe in there,” Miley said in a stunning moment of self-awareness as the show began. “I think my fans feel safe in that room with me; I feel like they think that I’m some sort of leader and I’m giving them that push to go forward.” What was really amazing about a statement like that is that despite the massive crowds screaming her name, the sold out mega arenas and churning out hit after hit, Miley remains very down to Earth and humble. This reflects the fact that her upbringing at the hands of Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus was far more grounded than people want to believe.

The special treated us to much of Miley live on stage in Barcelona and some behind the scenes moments with her and her family and fans. It was a really intimate and even heart-warming look into Miley’s life on the road. Probably the most surprising and touching moment came when Miley talked about the death of her dog Floyd. “I really made myself sick over it” said Miley as tears streamed from her caring and loving blue eyes down her rosy cheeks. Another great moment was the close up of Miley brushing her teeth. Sure, some people didn’t get that part, but remember many people see Miley as a leader. She was reminding them that gingivitis is no joke and to make sure they brush! I salute her for this and her amazing attention to detail.

There really isn’t any doubt that Miley is someone whose style, sophistication, class, work ethic and beauty are matched only by her talent. This comes through clearly during the two hour special that honestly could have gone for four or five hours and still been just as riveting and exciting. I think what makes Miley so easy to love and admire more than anything is how genuine she is. She isn’t the product of a marketing machine like say, Taylor Swift. She’s real and it comes through to us all the time.

A great example of this is when she was in the bathroom of her hotel suite with her brother playing guitar while she was beautifully belting out the words to a song by The Flaming Lips. If that had been Taylor Swift instead of being really casual wearing a t-shirt and short shorts, Tay-Tay would have had her makeup and hair perfectly done while wearing some outfit that had been focus group tested at least a dozen times while singing “Let it Go” from Frozen. Blech!

There are some legit questions that can be asked about Miley still. Does she ever wear pants? Personally, I’m okay with her leg show, but some people wonder if she has a full wardrobe.  Why does 53 year old Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips seem to follow her around so much and keep writing songs for her? That COULD get a little creepy, just sayin’. What was the deal with that Big Bird outfit she was wearing?

Mostly though, after watching this concert and listening to Miley’s amazing vocal talents and seeing her behind the scenes the only real question is “How could anyone ever question this girl’s talent or ability to stick around for the long haul again?” Miley Cyrus went a long ways to shutting up the haters, if not winning them over completely with this performance.  

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Friend me on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter

Happy 4th of July From IWS Radio

Cheers and a Happy Independence Day Eve to you all.

In March of 1775, the colony of Virginia debated whether or not they should create their own militia. Instead of meeting under the heavy heraldic hand of Lieutenant-General Lord Dunmore at the capitol in Williamsburg, the Second Convention of Virginian delegates met at St. John’s Church in Richmond….

The Voice of the Revolution

Richmond’s streets were cold and bare
But signs of Spring were in the air.

Like Christians from the Catacombs
Patriots stole past Tory homes.

To St. John’s Church in stealth they came
Risking death and a traitor’s name.

Once safe inside they paused to pray
That freedom’s torch would light their way.

The roll was called, the minutes read
Approved and entered as were said.

Each cautious vote was meekly cast
When Patrick Henry stood at last.

Then like a monk before his God
His voice in measured cadence trod.

The oak floor shook beneath his rage
The Bible trembled page by page.

He crossed his wrists, despair implied
“Our chains are forged”, he harshly cried.

He spoke of liberty and death
And murmurs rose with every breath.

Then undismayed by thoughts of fear
The Yankee crowd began to cheer.

The shouts burst forth like tamarind
And Henry’s words were on the wind…

In Williamsburg, where all was still
Lord Dunmore felt a sudden chill.

He shuddered as he stirred the fire,
And saw a raging fun’ral pyre.

A musket shot, a distant bell,
And muffled hoof beats broke the spell.

Reluctantly, he grabbed his sword,
And took his pistol from the board.

Sadly, he knew, but could not say,
That England’s fate was sealed that day.

© 1981 JJM

Here’s to the author Jack Mahoney, and here’s to Jay and Matt who will be taking a few days off as we celebrate the 238th birthday of America.

Have a great 4th of July weekend, and we’ll see you back here Tuesday.

IWS Radio 

Some Thoughts on the World Cup

Holaaaaaaa y’all! Woo-Hoo! This is my last post before IWS goes on an All-American hiatus for a few days and I’m fired up about it! The time off, not the post. This post will probably suck. Well, maybe not, we’ll see.

I’ve been watching the World Cup down there in Brazil and I’m finding it to be intense! Kind of. I don’t hate soccer, but I don’t really love it either. I’m kind of indifferent, just like most of the players look to be in most games. I did enjoy that little kick-off between Brazil and Chee-LAY the other day though.

I tell you what drives me crazy though is the terminology they use. Why do they say “training” instead of “practicing?” That’s just stupid. Training is something you do with a dog. You team him to sit, stay, roll over, speak, shake hands and stuff like that. You practice a sport, even if that sport is soccer. I was watching ESPN and they were all like “Jozy Altidore was training with the US Team today” and you know what he was doing on the video? PRACTICING with his teammates dammit! Besides, how hurt is he really? Is he “hurt” or “soccer hurt?”

Why is it a “pitch” instead of a “field?” This one kind of pisses me off. It’s big. It’s made of grass. It has lines drawn on it. It has a midfield area. It has out of bounds. It’s a field. Stop calling it a pitch y’all.

Worst of all is the pluralizing of the countries. Have you heard them using these phrases:

“Spain ARE heading home.”
“America ARE advancing to the knockout round.”
“France ARE dismantling Switzerland.” 
“Germany ARE advancing ominously.” (People have been saying that for 100 years.)
“Brazil ARE a bunch of overrated pretty boys.” (Okay, I made that one up, that IS the way they would say it.)

What’s up with that? I know it’s grammatically correct, but it’s not Americally correct. You never turn on college football and hear the announcers say…

“Alabama ARE humiliating Arkansas for the fifth straight season.”
“Notre Dame ARE beating up on Oklahoma AGAIN.”

Oh and why is the “American side” instead of “American team?” That one really pisses me off.

So why do they talk like that when they’re doing soccer? I don’t care if that’s the way they do it over in Jolly Old England. I don’t care if that’s the “Soccer Way” or some shit. Talk American please.

Oh sure, I’m sure Soccer Snob is out there ready to pounce and explain this all to me. Don’t bother. I don’t care. It’s not necessary and I’m not stupid like those people who keep saying “I don’t understand the offside rule.” Oh for God’s sake people! It’s simple!

Damn this whole World Cup has me all worked up. They probably shouldn’t do it anymore after this year. Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. Time to go on vacation bitches! I’ve got family and dogs coming to town and there are hot dogs to grill and shit. Matt-Man will be along tomorrow and then we’ll be off from both the blog until Tuesday and there won’t be any show this week. IWS Radio will return on the 13^th with all the hilarity you could ever dream of. More or less.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Friend me on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter