Dreamboat Thomas Roberts: Person of the Week!

IWS is proud to announce that our Person of the Week is MSNBC's Thomas Roberts!

Roberts has had an impressive career in cable news starting with CNN and then moving over to MSNBC where he filled in for different anchors during the day and even for Keith Olbermann after Olbermann was canned. He then took over as host of MSNBC Live and has now been announced as the new host of "Way Too Early!" and will also contribute to Morning Joe!

And on top of all that, Thomas is freaking gorgeous! Just look at that fine piece of man-meat right there! No wonder he's so damn popular. WHAT A MAN!

Speaking of of men, be sure to tune into IWS Radio Sunday Night at 8 PM ET as we give out some great advice to the men out there in our "Men's Survival Guide 2014."

Robin Thicke Defends Miley Cyrus

Hey Hey Hey bitches! Heir to Hollywood Royalty, singer, performer, ladies’ man, sexual dynamo and possessor or a Hood Pass, Robin Thicke here. Please, stop throwing your moist panties at your computer while reading my sexy words on this here blog. Save them for the genii behind the IWS Entertainment Empire, Matt-Man and Jayman. No need to thank me guys, I have plenty of hot sexy groupies to share a couple with lesser men like you guys. Of course, all men are lesser to me.

I wanted a place where I could defend Miley Cyrus from all the unfair and outrageous attacks on her stemming from her, uh, I mean our performance on the VMAs. Well, really it was HER performance that people are upset over.  I haven’t gotten any flack at all.

See folks, Miley didn’t want to do such a raunchy performance. She wanted to do a traditional performance where she got up there on stage in a tasteful, yet sexy dress and sang with me. Basically she wanted to be the pure and innocent lady she is. But, what I can I say? A couple of minutes into rehearsal with me and the clothes were coming off. Happens all the time to me! I’m serious …

- When I was six Jazmine Johnson wanted begged me to sit on my lap and for me to hold her while we went down the slide at the playground.

- When I was nine I was standing behind Shanice Jordan waiting for my turn at the pencil sharpener when Shanice asked me to stand really close behind her and crank the pencil sharpener for her.

- When I was fourteen my dad’s costar on “Growing Pains” Johanna Kerns told me she wanted to learn to play golf and asked if I would get behind her and put my arms around her and teach her to swing.

- When I was seventeen my photography teacher Mrs. Stone asked me to help her in the dark room and after the lights when out she started “accidentally” bumping my crotch with her phat ass.

Shit like this has happened to me all my life. I don’t do anything to bring these situations on. I’m naturally so damn sexy that women throw themselves at me. I start singing my special brand of white guy hip-hop and the next thing I know girls are dancing with me and grinding on me and telling me they want to do all kinds of nasty things to me.  

Same thing happened to me in my video for my Summer Rape Anthem “Blurred Lines.” I’m singing along with track, trying to make a nice video for everyone out there to enjoy and damned if Emily Ratajkowski doesn’t get all naked and start grinding all over me! It’s crazy y’all!

So I think you can all see how this isn’t Miley’s fault. It isn’t really my fault either. Not that anyone has said it was my fault in any way. It’s kind of cool how all the blame is being put on the bitch girl. The blame lies with this damn out of control sexiness and animal magnetism I have. I start out trying to just do a straight up duet with someone on the VMAs and before I know it I look down and some 20 year old hottie is in her bra and very moist panties grinding her bony little ass against my 36 year old Thicke Stick™ while I’m innocently singing “I know you want it …. I know you want it … I know you want it …”

Honestly? I wish I could stop it. I wish I wasn’t this damn sexy. I wish every woman didn’t want me so badly. But, this is the way God made me and I just have to live with it. I promise to use my sexy powers only for good though. Sure, I’ve turned a few lesbos straight in my day, but no more. I promise. It’s just not right.

Oh one other thing.  Mika Brzezinski, call me baby. I’ll loosen you up sexy lady.

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SEC Football Preview 2013

Hola again football fans! My NFL Preview was such a smashing success (kinda, not really) that I decided to expand my previewing analysis skills to college football. No, I’m not gonna preview all 100-plus big-time college football teams. I’m going to preview the only teams that matter. So, here’s your 2013 Southeastern Conference Football Preview!

SEC West:

Alabama: Pfffffffft, these guys suck. The players mostly look just like the fans.

Arkansas: The absolute, unchallenged class of the SEC. Only the highest quality human beings play on the team and they always play the game the way it was meant to be played. They play hard, practice harder and study the hardest. They are the epitome of Student-Athletes and the very definition of gentlemen.

Auburn: The cheatingest, dirtiest, low-downest scum-buckets in any division of any conference in any sport on any level. Fuck those guys.

LSU: Why do both LSU and the New Orleans Saints use the “WHO DAT??!!” chant? Because it applies to all of South Louisiana. All over the bayou folks have for decades said things like “Who dat breaking into my house?” and “Who dat with the gun about to rob me on the street” and “Who dat that got killed walking to church last night for $3?” and … well, you get the idea.

Mississippi State: THOSE GAWD-DAMMED COWBELLS! OMG! Most of the players can even spell Mississippi.

Ole Miss: If you can’t get into Mississippi State then you’re only other options is Ole Miss, a drinking school with a football problem.

Texas A&M: What’s the difference between an Aggie and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish. Hey-OOOOOOOOOOO

SEC (L)East:

Florida: The only school with more player arrests each week than points scored. Aaron Hernandez and Riley Cooper are their most distinguished alumni.

Georgia: The team and fans suffer from the least deserved superiority complex in the entire country.

Kentucky: I don’t really have anything against the Mildcats cause they’re not good enough to really worry about. Besides, they already have a basketball program so dirty it makes Auburn fans gasp, it wouldn’t be fair to have a good football program too.

Missouri: So stupid they think Missouri really IS in the southeastern part of the country. Also, Columbia has the greatest concentration of people who can’t figure out how to use “there,” “their” and “they’re” correctly in the entire country.

South Carolina: Their only redeeming quality is being named the “Gamecocks” so everyone can just refer to them as the “Cocks.” Heh…Heh…Huh…Huh …. “Cocks”

Tennessee: Their offensive line …

Vanderbilt: Rich, stuck-up, over-privileged, condescending, Duke wannabes. Nobody likes you guys.  

So there you go y’all! An expert analysis of the greatest football conference in the history of the world.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
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@Jayman_IWS

Alex Rodriguez: IWS Person of the Week!

IWS would like to congratulate Alex Rodriguez for being named our Person of the Week! That’s right, A-Rod has had a pretty eventful week and has earned the admiration of the folks here at IWS!

Alex started the week pretending that he wasn’t facing a HUGE suspension for yet another involvement with steroids or HGH or whatever by DEMANDING the Yankees bring him back onto the roster after his rehab stint. Then he tweaked his quad and the Yankees decided to put him back on the DL.

That wasn’t good enough for the biggest ego in baseball sing Reggie Jackson though. Oh no, he sent his MRI to some doctor somewhere and had him review it and declare A-Rod fit to play. Then he sent this doctor onto Mike Francesa’s radio show. This all after GM Brian Cashman had told A-Rod to “shut the fuck up” just a couple of weeks ago.

What a soap opera! And the best part of it Yankees fan are pretending that A-Rod doesn’t belong to them. Sorry folks, he’s going to be the “face” of the Steroid Era and he will be wearing a Yankees uniform. Deal with it.

So, for being a cheat, an asshole and a bigger narcissist then Anthony Weiner, YOU, Alex Rodriguez are the IWS “Person of the Week!!

Be sure to catch us on IWS Radio Sunday at 12 Noon ET for our Sexy Sexting Show!!!