IWS Person of the Week...Lepus Curpaeums

Happy Easter everyone.  In honor of this most joyous day of messianic resurrection, the staff of IWS Radio is proud to name the person who is responsible for this celebration made possible, today's IWS Person of the Week.

The Easter Bunny, or as we refer to him at IWS Radio HQ...

The Lepus Curpaeums Who Saved Jesus!!

For centuries after rescuing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ from a tomb of obscurity, the Easter Bunny has continued to work miracles and spread the gospel of Jesus joy to millions of children.  Children such as these two adorable ragamuffins...

And this precocious scalawag...

Some children initially rebuke the Easter Bunny's message of truth and righteousness...

But in the end, they too, come to love him...

So here's to Lepus Curpaeums also known as The Easter Bunny, The Reason for the Season, and now known as, The IWS Person of the Week.  Congrats!!

IWS Easter joy doesn't end with this post.  Oh Hell No!!  Join Jay, Matt, and the entire IWS Radio team as we celebrate Easter LIVE today from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Rev. Moneymaker, Paul Piatt, Phil Diller and Jesus Christ will be on hand as they throw down the funny. Annnnnnnd, even bigger than Christ himself?  Guy Ahnyurdyck interviews the Easter Bunny.  That's quality entertainment at a fair price right there!!

Jay and Matt will also being calling prayer lines as well as various foreign embassies including the Vatican so they can wish Pope Francis a Happy Easter.

All that plus your calls today LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET on the IWS Radio.

Celebrate the Christ with us LIVE today by clicking HERE.

MSJS Easter Extravaganza

Jay evangelizes, Matt sermonizes You nod off a bit.

Jay: What?
Matt: Huh?
Jay: Did you start
Matt: Start what?
Jay: That was a fast minute
Matt: What?
Jay: HOLAAAAAAAAAAAA
Matt: CHEERS!
Jay: How the hell are ya?
Matt: I’m freaking great!
Jay: That’s great to hear.
Matt: You know why?
Jay: Because Jesus loves you?
Matt: You’re GOT-DAMMED right he does!
Jay: Abso-freaking-lutely! He loves me too.
Matt: Well … probably.
Jay: Hey now!
Matt: I’m kidding! Jesus loves everyone.
Jay: Not everyone. He probably doesn’t love Vladimir Putin.
Matt: Good point.
Jay: We should call him.
Matt: Let’s do it!

Jay: OMG! Lent is almost over.
Matt: I can’t wait!
Jay: Me either.
Matt: It’s been a long haul.
Jay: It sure has
Matt: I’m gonna eat bread all day!
Jay: It’ll be a Yeast Feast!
Matt: I might get Adult Onset Celiac Disease
Jay: It’s gonna be a great day.
Matt: Yeah … Hey wait!
Jay: What?
Matt: What did you give up for Lent again?
Jay: Well, it’s complicated
Matt: Uh-huh
Jay: It’s all about being a better person
Matt: Well, did you do it?
Jay: Yeah, pretty much. I think so.
Matt: Good job then!
Jay: Thanks!

Matt: So an Easter Extravaganza on Sunday?
Jay: Of course!
Matt: We should call the Pope.
Jay: Ask him how Easter is shaping up?
Matt: And maybe the Israelis
Jay: Of course! Make sure they’re having a happy Passover
Matt: OHHHHH! Remember when Guy interviewed the Easter Bunny?
Jay: Oh yeah! We should find that and play it again.
Matt: “Classic IWS”
Jay: Good call. Rev Moneymaker will be there.
Matt: And Paul Piatt and stand up w/ Phil Diller
Jay: And even more stand up w/ Jesus on stage at Ha-Ha’s in Haifa!
Matt: I bet he nails that show!
Jay: I hope he doesn’t …. DIEEEEEE!
Matt and Jay: HEY-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Matt: And, I have a list of prayer lines we can call.
Jay: We need more prayer in our lives.
Matt: Everyone does
Jay: So let’s give it to them
Matt: In Jesus’ name
Jay: AMEN!

Be sure to catch “Jesus Christ: Tan, Rested and Ready” on IWS Radio this Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!!

Jesus Christ: Dead Man Walking and Carrying a Cross

It’s Good Friday so let’s have some laughs.

I mean, if we weren't supposed to have fun on this Day of Jeebus’ Crucifixion, they would have called it something else.

Something such as, Bad Friday…Bloody Friday…or perhaps…

Is Your Fucked Up Sister Coming Over for Easter Dinner Again This Year? Friday.

Nope. It’s Good Friday, or as I refer to it, Holy Week Happy Hour™ So, drink up bitches, the laughs and IWS frivolity are on me.

As I have pointed out this week, Hayzoos was one funny Messianic Mo-Foe. 

Facing certain death, did not dull JC’s spear tipped wit.

When the Romans came to escort him to his demise, he told them:

“I can’t go until I do LX Push-Ups and do my XXX minute Pontius Pilates workout, LOL. I wanna be able to push away that big stone later. LOL.”

And then Jeebus spoke to a couple of the Centurions:

“Hey boys, I had the strangest dream last night. God was speaking to me and kept calling me Moses.
I said, "Father, my name is Jesus, not Moses, yet God kept calling me Moses, Moses, Moses..."

I finally said to him, "My God, my God, why have you mistaken me? LOL."

Yeah baby, JC’s stand-up act was kickin’ ass to the end. He even turned his Heavenly Hilarity onto one of the condemning Rabbis:

“Yo, Rabbi, what’s the difference between a horny pig and a Pharisee? A horny pig eats pork. Bada Bing, Bitches. LOL.”

Once at Golgotha, and getting readied to be hung up, J-Mac entertained the crowd by doing one of his now famous Knock-Knock jokes…

Like the one he told to the onlookers, using Simon as his straight man:

Knock-Knock…Who’s There? God…God Who? Goddam this is gonna hurt!! LOL.
He brought the crowd down with that one and then had a request. He shouted to Andrew:

“Yo, ‘Drew-Dawg…Get this party started by throwing on some Crucifixion music. Throw on that song that I like so much.”

With that, Andrew played this, centuries later, IWS Classic: 

After the Romans nailed JC to the cross, and firmly planted the crucifix into the hillside, Jeebus got in one last zinger:

“I’m just glad that the KKK has yet to be invented, because they’d set this crucifix on fire, and I’d end up with Hot Cross Buns. LOL”

And with that, the crowd laughed, Jeebus looked skyward, and simply said, “Tetelestai”.

And so it was…

I hope you party your asses off during Good Friday, because living without sin is what it is all about.  Be safe, have fun, and enjoy your Easter Weekend.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com

@mattman_iws

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