Hola all you inquisitive folks out there! Do you love taking online quizzes on sites like Buzzfeed and others? Don’t lie, you know you do! If you didn’t you wouldn’t post the results on Facebook all day long! I know, I do the same thing. They are kind of addictive and sometimes even fun. But, if you aren’t my friend on Facebook then shame on you! I mean, I will list all of my quiz results here for you. Or at least all the ones I can remember.
- One quiz says I should live in California. That’s a brilliant idea. I would love to move to Cali if I could.
- Another says I should be living in Portland, OR. I would be good with that too. It is a bit TOOOO liberal and way too hipster for me, but there’s a lot of cool stuff about Portland too. Aaaaaaaaaand it’s the strip club capital of the world.
- I should be a writer. Great! Pay me to write and I would do it. I don’t know if “international internet radio star” was one of the options or not.
- My hidden talent is a painter. I don’t have any real artistic ability. Well, I can’t draw. I guess there are lots of definitions of “art.”
- If I were a Muppet I would be the Count! I’m totally a numbers guy.
- Which Family Guy Character am I? Lois, of course.
- What kind of G-Chatter am I? I’m a “goon.” That’s somebody who isn’t all that social on there and doesn’t go “live” all the time.
- I AM HELVETICA FONT!
- I scored 130 on an intelligence test and they say I’m “smart.”
- Of all the Disney Princess I am ….. Belle.
- I straddle the line between being cool and uncool. This is pretty funny cause we all know I’m totally NOT cool.
- The arbitrary thing that I am is a “Fat Squirrel.” THAT IS HURTFUL INTERNET!!!
- Which Twin Peaks character am I? Leo Johnson, of course. I’m told he’s a “really bad guy.”
- I am NOT holy enough to receive communion. This comes as a surprise to no one.
- Which declining social media site am I? Friendster. This means I have limited social skills. Like we didn’t all know THAT already.
- What kind of Bathroom etiquette do I have? I’m a “polite pisser.” Apparently someone who sprays the toilet with disinfectant before and after taking a crap and then washes his hands with antibacterial soap afterwards is just “polite.”
- And finally I’m a tie between being Abraham Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt. I have no idea what that really means, but okay. I did try another “Which President are You?” quiz but when I saw that they list Pat Buchanan as a former president I curled up in the fetal position and cried for two hours and never finished the quiz.
Okay, so there you! I’m sure you found this every bit as fascinating as I did. This does NOT mean that you don’t need to be my friend on Facebook any more though. You totally do!
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