Howdy and WOOOOOOOO PIG SOOOOOOOOOOOOIE y’all! This is Stewie Stevens better known to most as “WooPigStewie!” in the online world and I’m here today to tell you all about how MY Arkansas Razorbacks are on their way to the BCS Champeeenship! WOOOOOOO!!!! GO HOGS GO!!!!
If you just happened to watch the Hogs dismantle Louisiana-Lafayette over the weekend you saw the beginning of something special. A National Champion was born right before our eyes! Arkansas took the field and not only looked nothing like that dismal team they fielded last year, but look like a team of DESTINY!!
I know you’re saying “But it was just ULL dude.” Yeah, but ULL is BY FAR the best second tier team in America. They’ll go undefeated from here on out and could probably beat every team in the ACC, Big 10, Big 12 and Pac 12. Their QB is gonna be an NFL star someday. And ULL’s coach, Mark Hudspeth is the only coach in all of America who is even close to Bret Bielema’s level.
Anyway, let’s just break things down factually, shall we?
- Arkansas has the best offensive line in all of America. Hell, some NFL teams aren’t as good up front as we are. Those guys are HUGE and athletic and every last one of them is a real student of the game. They study film and work on their technique day and night. I’ve never seen a more dedicated, hard-working and competitive group of young men in my life.
- Jonathan Williams is the best running back in all of college football. There is simply no argument. He’s has the most amazing combination of speed and power I’ve seen since …. Earl Campbell. IKNOW, IKNOW, IKNOW! But, he really is THAT good. The only RB who might be as good as him is …
- Alex Collins is the best freshman running back I’ve ever seen in my life. Even better than Adrian Peterson. Not only does this guy have that “extra gear” that all great backs have, he has best vision of any running back around. He reminds me of …. Barry Sanders. IKNOW, IKNOW, IKNOW! But, I’m telling ya, he sees everything out there and can make defenders think they saw a ghost. The only guy in the country who could stop either Williams or Collins from winning multiple Heisman’s is ….
- QB Brandon Allen! One week in and I’m pretty sure Allen is the best QB to ever play at Arkansas. Forget Joe Ferguson, Ron Calcagni, Ryan Mallett and Tyler Wilson! BA is better than all of them combined. I think he reminds me most of …. Joe Montana. IKNOW, IKNOW, IKNOW but, darn it! BA is just like Joe in that you don’t think he has that strong of an arm until he fires one into a small window in traffic or drops one in the receiver’s bread basket 62 yards downfield. Of course, he’s probably more mobile than Joe was and has a bit more football intelligence than Joe had.
As you can see we are just loaded. All this amazing talent and Bielema’s coaching can only mean a BCS championship. Looking at our schedule I admit we might struggle with Bama or South Carolina or Florida or possibly LSU, but we’re definitely better than all of them. If we weren’t playing Bama, Florida and LSU on the road I’m sure we would stomp ‘em!
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In other news Season Four of IWS Radio kicked off yesterday and it was a BLAST! We talked about all the great options there are for dealing with Syria, Twitter’s reaction to Miley, heard from Slyder, Guy, Moneymaker, Rocky, Kirk and Paul Piatt AAAAAAAAAANNNDDDD ….
We talked to TESS from Topless Equality! She was awesome and did a great job telling us all about her group and their movement to try and get states and cities to pass laws to allow women to be topless in public places just like men. And you know what? She was pretty convincing too! Check it out …
More Comedy Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio
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