Matt Said, Jay Said 888-727-BECK

Matt:  Helloooooooo?
Jay:  Hi.  How are you?
Matt:  I’m fine, and you?
Jay:  Okay, I guess.
Matt:  Something wrong Pumpkin?

Jay:  Eh…It’s just that talking on the phone is way overrated.

Matt:  But we do it every Sunday during our IWS Radio Show.

Jay:  Oh I know, but that’s different.

Matt:  How so?  Because we have a live audience, but during show prep calls you’re stuck talking only to me?

Jay:  Noooo, not at all.  I just think actual talking is overrated.
Matt:  I think maybe you just don’t like talking to me on a one-on-one basis.
Jay:  Not at all.  And now that you are basically calling me a liar, I think you underrate me as a person.
Matt:  Noooo, not at all.  I adore you.

Jay and Matt:  (awkward silence)

Matt:  You know who Schmoop thinks is wayyyyyyyy overrated?
Jay:  Who?
Matt:  Scarlett Johansson.
Jay:  What?  Schmoop is out of her mind!!

Matt:  I know right?  Schmoop says Scarlett is ugly.  Schmoop is crazy!!
Jay:  Hell yeah she’s crazy; I mean, just a bit.  I wouldn’t want to overrate Schmoop’s craziness.

Matt:  Y’know what Jayman?  I think we have an idea for this week’s show.
Jay:  I believe you are right.  We could talk about people…
Matt:  Places…
Jay:  And things that are either overrated
Matt:  Or underrated.

Jay:  Damn dude…Our brilliance is wayyyyy underrated.

Matt:  You and I are far more underrated than The Beatles were overrated.

Jay:  Oh my God…Buddy Acapella singing lyrics by Paul Piatt would be better than The Beatles.
Matt:  True dat, my underrated friend.

Jay:  Rev. Moneymaker may have some words for the IWS Radio congregation this weekend.
Matt:  So will Paul Piatt.

Jay:  And we may have a few surprises as well.

Matt:  And your phone calls at 661.244.9852, as we do the Overrated and Underrated Show this Sunday.

Jay:  It’s this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET and we will also talk about how The Blaze Radio host, Doc Thompson is stealing my nearly copyrighted tag lines.

Matt:  It’s an outrage!!

Jay and Matt:  So…Join us this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio, as IWS Radio discusses all that is overrated or underrated.

To catch us LIVE on Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET you can click right HERE. 

I Love Summer!!

Y’know?  Today is the first full day of Summer, and we are gonna have some fun, in fact…

The other day, a post that Jayman wrote reminded me of a good time summer time dream that I had had some years ago.

And please…allow me to tell to tell you how it all went down..

I was at picnic fundraiser for Sarah Palin. It was a first, kinda summer day, and …

True to her folksy, homespun carnival act personality, there were all sorts of activities that one might find at a small town America cookout during the summer.

I signed up for the three-legged race. I’ve always kinda dug that. We all threw our names in a hat and Sarah drew names to see who would partner with whom.

I was excited because I knew that if I had a decent partner I had a good shot at winning. My excitement soon became despair when Sarah named who would be tied up with me…

Stephen Fucking Hawking!!

“What a disadvantage that puts me at.” I muttered to myself.

While other pairs are running the race with three good legs, I’m going to be draggin’ Hawking down Lane 4 for 50 yards.

I was thinking to myself, “Holy Shit…Having Heather Mills as my partner would be a step up.”

Anyhoo…Hawking comes rolling up to me, and in his creepy McDonald’s Drive-Thru speaker voice, said…

“Let’s kick some ass, Matt-Man.”

So I dump his ass out of his wheelchair, and he’s laying there in all his palsied and Parkinsonian glory flippin’ and a-flappin’ around like a washed up walleye contorting on a hot rock, and I tied him to my right leg with a bungee cord and duct tape.

I dragged him and his useless body over to the starting line. There were six teams in the race, but one team in particular was giving me and The Hawk-Man the stink eye.

It was the team of Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

After we stared them down (well, after I stared them down, Hawking’s face was in the dirt, mumbling some incoherent bullshit about supernovas and their effect on the space/time continuum), I turned my eyes to the prize and the finish line that was 50 yards away.

Palin with bullhorn in hand, shouted, “Ready, Set…” and then several rounds from her AK-47 set each team into motion.

Despite the dead weight attached to me, I was bolting like lightning down the course…
Hawking beside me and behind me all the way, his face being bloodied by the ground as he drooled and continuously muttered, for whatever reason, “Deus ex Machina!!”

O’Reilly and Beck were leading, but as we neared the finish line lagging behind those two nut jobs, they abruptly stopped in order to deeply kiss and fondle each other’s dick.

As they engaged in their ego and cock stroking man love, I sped passed them hauling Hawking’s bouncing, crippled body beside me.

As we crossed the finish line in triumphant fashion, I realized the brilliance of Hawking. O’Reilly and Beck’s public display of depravity had been our Deus ex Machina.

I cut Hawking loose from me, gave him a bottle of Gatorade, and proceeded to have obligatory winner’s sex with Bristol Palin.

Hawking? Unable to put himself into his wheelchair, he lay there calculating exactly how long it would take him to die from over-exposure to the hot summer sun. And you know what?

That brilliant bastard predicted his sunstroke induced demise right to the nano-second, and that in itself, is pretty God Damn brilliant…and funny.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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