Showing posts with label Books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Books. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My Life as a Winner

Hola winners and losers! Monday afternoon I was just hanging out, minding my own business when I heard a knock on the door. It was the FedEx delivery guy with a package from Random House. I was perplexed because I hadn’t order a book, but when I opened the package I realized what had happened.

A few weeks ago I had signed up through Facebook for a chance to win an advance copy of Bill Bryson’s “One Summer: America, 1927.”  I’m a HUGE Bill Bryson fan so I made sure to point out on the entry form that I not only wrote for a blog, but I co-host the #1 comedy show on BTR. My clever plan worked and I won!!!


After I got the book it suddenly hit me that I have a long history of winning when it comes to drawings…

In third grade I won a goldfish at the Halloween carnival at school. I don’t remember if I named him/her but when I got home I put him/her in a big glass bowl filled with water. In the morning the fish was dead. Poor thing was probably old and died of natural causes in his/her sleep. Over the years I’ve considered getting another goldfish but decided against it because the pain of losing old whatshis/hername was just too much. That and goldfish don’t cuddle with ya.

My sophomore year of high school I won a prize at a football game. They would draw numbers and if any of those numbers matched the one on the program you had you won. Well, my number was called and I won a big wool blanket. Unfortunately it was sooooooo damn itchy that I ended up never using it and finally throwing it out.

During my senior year Dr. Pepper was running a promotion where some lucky people who bought a 12 oz can from a vending machine got a t-shirt and .50 to get another Dr. Pepper. So, one day I gave it a whirl and TA-DA! I won the t-shirt. Sadly, it was a size small so I gave it to Cheri Curtis who was a sexy little thang. I didn’t get anything more than a “thanks” from her though so I was hardly worth it.

When I was in college I actually won a truck from Don Nelms Chevrolet! Well, it was a 20 year old truck that was really beat up and wouldn’t start. They finally got it started for me and it turned out it was one of those old “three on a tree” standard shift trucks. I almost got killed trying to drive home. I sold it for $300 but it cost me $200 to get it registered and shit. Wasn’t worth it.

After the truck though my luck improved… 

At an old job once I won a drawing among all the people who had perfect attendance for a 90 day period. I won a $10 gift card to Taco Bell. Oh yeah! Tacos were only .40 cents in those days so that worked out great!


The “Friends of the Library” held a drawing a few years ago and I won a really sweet roadside emergency kit. It has tools, gloves, a flashlight, battery charger, jumper cables and those little orange triangle things to place on the road to warn motorists of a car on the shoulder. I’m convinced my having this thing in the truck is the reason I haven’t been stranded on the side of the road lately.

On top of all that, now I win the latest book by one of my favorite authors. Dam, things really are looking up for me. I think I’ll start buying lottery tickets.



In other news we were all treated to our first ever Canada Report last Sunday on IWS Radio. Jamie from the Hammer is our Canadian Correspondent and she was AWESOME so you should totally check it out...



Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Setting the Record Straight

Holaaaaaaaaaaa y’all! Over the last few days there has been a considerable amount of confusion over what IWS World Media has been up to the last week or so. Well, more than usual. So, I thought I would take a few minutes here today to clear everything up for you folks. Okay?

First, I want to make sure that everyone knows that Ryan Braun’s Matt-Man’s 65 game suspension from Major League Baseball for using performance enhancing drugs WILL NOT affect his appearance on IWS Radio or here on the website.


The main reason for this is that IWS doesn’t have any rules about PED use. Hell, we encourage it. Well, kinda. I mean, whatever makes for a good show or blog post, right? We’re a results oriented organization.

There has also been some misinformation going around about the Royal Baby. Yesterday, some outlets reported yesterday that THIS was the new heir to the British Throne …


Well, it turns out that isn’t him. In fact, the folks down at Windsor Castle are in damage control mode because when people get a look at the baby there will be a worldwide scandal …


That’s right folks! Welcome Prince Vladimir! Oh man this is gonna be fun. I guess during Duchess Kate’s world travels she and Vladimir Putin’s paths crossed and that smooth sexy bastard did with one shot what Prince William couldn’t do with 100.

There is rumor out there that is true though. It is true that IWS World Media is branching out into the publishing world. Yes, we know that publishing is dying, but we believe there are still niche markets out there where one can make a living in publishing. Memoirs is one of those areas. The world’s obsession with celebrities and hot babes means that people WILL buy their autobiographies and we’re gonna corner that market. We even have one ready to go already …


That’s right! Supermodel Chrissy Teigen will be our first book published. Oh sure, she doesn’t really know about this yet, but she will soon and I’m sure she’ll be VERY excited!

However, it is NOT TRUE that this is MY first book …


I’m hoping to do something a little lighter and a lot less creepy for my first published work, I just haven’t decided what it might be yet.

Okay, so I hope this clears things up for y’all and there won’t be any more confusion.