Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Facebook is Worried About My Social Life

Holaaaaaaaaaa friends and lovers and all the lonely people out there tonight. I’ve been noticing a trend on Facebook lately. No, not all the bitching, bragging, winning, cheap shots, lame jokes and angry status updates people are posting. Those are a given. No, I’ve noticed that Facebook is worried about me. It seems as though Facebook is worried that I’m lonely and wants to help me out.

It all started out innocently enough. Facebook thought maybe I would like to join a singles site called Zoosk. They just wanted to let me know that I don’t have to be alone. Very sweet of Facebook.
After I didn’t respond to Facebook’s offer, they decided to get a little more specific for me. Next came the Christian Singles …


I have nothing against Christians, hell I am one, but let’s just say my views are a little more moderate than what I suspect I would find at that site. Besides, I’m not a raging racist and don’t hate gay people so I think I would have a hard time finding a match.

So, Facebook gave up on that and things took a strange turn. The next item on the Love Menu was Young Women Looking for Older Men! Whoa! That escalated quickly!


While I found this to be funny, I was still not tempted to dive into the online personals world. Also, that was a little unseemly. Facebook was not to be deterred however because they clearly did their homework and hit me with something they knew I wouldn’t be able to resist ….


Okay, so they finally had my attention, but I still wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea. I would have to come up with a personal bio to post and then put together an action plan for what to do after meeting a girl online. Not to worry though, Facebook thought of that too …


Okay, flowers are always a good idea. Girls always love flowers and when you pick her up for a date giving her flowers gets things off to a nice start. Of course, I have another problem …


Right! Gotta look good for that date right! But, there’s still another problem. I’m not much on going out. I prefer a more laid back casual evening …



There we go! Dinner and a movie at home! Damn Facebook! You’ve got my whole social life all planned out! Way to go and thanks!



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