Happy Presidents' Day from IWS Radio

Hail to the Chiefs and Happy President’s Day Chuckleheads!!

If you have the day off today in honor of the American Chief Executives past and present, bully for you and enjoy your time off.

And…

For those of you who do have the day off.  There is no better way to spend your time off than by listening to IWS Radio.

Let me tell you.  Last night, Jay, Matt, Dixie Ozark, Phil Diller, Bobby Kraft, and a cast of thousands entertained and informed the masses.

IWS covered, the Winter Olympics,  Presidential history, truly American cuisine, re-capped Valentine’s Day, and as always, broke down what’s going on weather wise.

In addition to the informative hilarity that took place, both the switchboard and our hearts lit up, when we received a call from our favorite and hottest Canadian ever, Jaaaaaaaaaaaamie.  Oh Canada, Baby!!

So today, while you are solemnly respecting the history and office holders of the American Presidency, listen to IWS Radio.

If you don’t listen, it can mean only thing…

You are, at best, un-American, and at worst…probably Norwegian.

Cheers!!

Matt Said, Jay Said...Unfocused Like A Fox

Matt’s mind wanders…Jay’s think melon is distracted, you ask…Can’t the two of you focus on one thing?

Matt:  What up dawg?
Jay:  Nothing other than getting ready to enjoy some temps in the 50’s as soon as Friday.
Matt:  Ohhhhh…goooood…fooooor…yooooou.
Jay:  I thought you’d be happy for me.
Matt:  Eh, actually I am, at least one of us isn't miserable weather-wise.
Jay:  We could talk about that this Sunday.
Matt:  Talk about what?

Jay:  Talk about this miserable winter FINALLY showing signs of departing.
Matt:  We could do that, because it’s suppose to moderate here next week.
Jay:  But then again, we should also talk about the happenings in Sochi.
Matt:  True…The Olympics will be winding down this Sunday.
Jay:  We should talk about how those fucking Norwegians are cheating their way to the top.
Matt:  I HATE the Norwegians, and their crimes against humanity within their prisons.

Jay:  Okay…We’ll talk weather and the Olympics.  Cool.
Matt:  But Jayman…This Monday is also President’s Day; we should touch on that as well.
Jay:  Yeah.  You’re right.  Okay we’ll do some funny Presidential stuff as well.
Matt:  Hail to the Funny!!
Jay:  We’ll impeach all of the President’s through humor.
Matt:  We’ll skewer them with four score and seven jokes.
Jay:  Okay, okay…save it for the show.
Matt:  Aight.

Jay:  Okay…We’ll talk weather, Olympics, and President’s Day.  Cool.
Matt:  And we should probably re-cap Valentine’s Day.
Jay:  Good point.  We'll figure out and report on how many millions of worthless dollars were spent.
Matt:  And get a body bag count of how many people died from a broken heart.

Jay:  Okay…We’ll talk weather, Olympics, President’s Day, and Valentine’s Day.  Cool.
Matt:  Wow…we’re going to be all over the place topic wise.
Jay:  I know…Hmmmmmm?  Maybe we need some help covering all of this.
Matt:  Well…I can ask Stubby Stonehenge, Phil Diller, Malcolm Eckstein, and Tammy Tibbles to weigh in.
Jay:  Excellent.  I’ll see if Dixie Ozark, Martin, Joshua, and maybe Aunt Jax are available.

Matt:  Holy Cow…This is going to be a huge and diverse show!!
Jay:  Just like our IWS Radio audience.
Matt:  It’s gonna be a veritable potpourri of information and laughter!!
Jay: It’s gonna be a Potpourri Extravaganza!!

Matt and Jay:  What a great title…Potpourri Extravaganza!!
Jay:  News!!
Matt:  Weather!!
Jay:  Sports!!

Matt:  I think we are more than ready.
Jay:  I know we are.
Matt:  We’re fucking geniuses…er…genii.
Jay:  It’s okay…geniuses sounds better.
Matt:  Word.
Jay:  Byyyyyyyyye.
Matt:  Byyyyyyyye.

Catch IWS Radio LIVE this Sunday from 8-10 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

We are going to cover everything that is happening on this Big Blue Marble of ours and cover you in laughter.

So to listen LIVE click HERE, and remember, you can always call-in at 661.244.9852.

See you Sunday on the radio!!     

Phyllis Diller's Brother Breaks Out The Punchlines

Hey there all you crazy guys and dolls. Phil Diller here for IWS Radio.

You’re probably asking yourself right now, “Who the hell is this guy?”

Well, I just told you…I’m Phil Diller.

HA!!  Hy-Muh Lime-Uhhhhhhh!!

Seriously though…For the throngs of you who are unfamiliar as to who I am, I am the late Phyllis Diller’s obscure and un-publicly-recognized younger brother.

Hell, just check out Phyllis’ Wikipedia page...there is no reference to me whatsoever. You know why? Because when Phyllis was born, and they saw what she looked like?  My Dad shouted at my Mom…

“Look Honey, it’s the son we always wanted!!”, and they kept it that way.

HA!!  Hy-Muh Lime-Uhhhhhhh!!

Seriously though…I was conceived during the October 14, 1937 FDR Fireside Chat on the Unemployment Census.  Hell…Mom and Dad both had jobs; it was a cold night in Lima, Ohio, and the President’s radio chat wasn't doing much to keep them warm, so they found an alternative source of heat.

HA!!  Hy-Muh Lime Uhhhhhhh!!

Anyway, during my days growing up in the Diller household, Mom, Dad, and my sister would tell me that I was just a stray that they picked up in their front yard on July 14, 1938 during an out of control Bastille Day Party.

“Why would a German/Irish family such as the Diller’s celebrate France?”

And he replied…

“We thought it would be our last time to make fun of the French before Hitler and that midget dago wiped them off the map.”

HA!!  Hy-Muh Lime-Uhhhhhhh!!

I never bought that line.

Anyway…Mom and Dad died when I was around eleven years old, but my sis Phyllis was working and kept me around.  She would always tell me…

“Phil, even though you are not my brother, I feel the need to take care of you, so…you can stay here and be my gardener.”

It was nice to have a place to stay, but the entire time that I’m out there busting up turf in order for Phyllis to plant her vegetable garden, I’m thinking…

“Listen, Bitch!!  My name is Phil DILLER, not Phil TILLER!!”

HA!!  Hy-Muh Lime-Uhhhhhhhh!!

Don’t get me wrong, as much as she and the entire family denied my familial bond, they did take care of me…well, until she died in 2012.

After my sister Phyllis died, her kids kicked me out of the gardener’s guest house and ass flung me straight to the curb.  I felt as though I was Ned Beatty getting my salad tossed in a Burt Reynolds’s flick and the movie was titled…

Diller-iverance.

HA!!  Hy-Muh Lime-Uhhhhhhh!!

So, I’m out on my own now, and I am incredibly grateful to Jay and Matt for bringing me on board the TEAM IWS chuck wagon so I can make a living.

I’m going to be there this Sunday from 8-10 PM ET on the IWS Radio Show with some funny President Day jokes, so don’t miss out, and don’t miss out on this Sunday’s show which you can catch live right HERE!!

Until then…Hy-Muh Lime-Uhhhhhhhh!!

Phil Diller

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