Matt Said, Jay Said...1.38

Matt Coughs...Jay Sneezes...You reach for the Hand Sanitizer

Jay:  Hola and hello.
Matt:  Dude, you sound awful.
Jay:  I would tell you that I feel awful, but I don’t like to burden my friends.
Matt:  Even drugged up and sick, you are still a selfless human being.
Jay:  I know right?

Matt:  Hey I just checked BTR, last week’s show is now #3 in all of entertainment.
Jay:  I would be excited about that if I weren't on the death’s doorstep.
Matt:  Suck it up, man!!
Jay:  Alright, alright…so this Sunday? What’s the topic?
Matt:  Well…much like you next week, millions of Americans will gearing up for the holidays.

Jay:  Yeah…I’ll be heading to Nebraska for a wonderful Thanksgiving week.
Matt:  Yep…Thanksgiving annnnd...Hanukkah begins on Thanksgiving this year.
Jay:  I wonder what, if anything, Jews eat when that happens.
Matt:  I dunno.  Turkey is kosher isn't it?
Jay:  I think so.  I’m pretty sure they serve it in the finer Jewish delis.
Matt:  A Jewish Thanksgiving, there has to be some yuks yuks talking about that.

Jay:  True…And we could talk about personal prepping for all of the upcoming holidays.
Matt:  Sounds good…I bet Giada De Laurentiis turns turkey day into a Broadway type event.
Jay:  Maybe in most years, I thi---
Matt:  Most years?
Jay:  Yeah I hear she and hubby Todd are kinda on the outs.
Matt:  Really?
Jay:  Oh hell yeah and our staff has exclusive access to some pretty salacious audio of the couple.
Matt:  Sweet!!
Jay:  We’ll definitely debut that this Sunday.

Matt:  Awesome.  I hear Buddy Acapella has a new holiday song out.
Jay:  He’s amazing.  Dixie Ozark is going to be on hand as well.
Matt:  Love Her!!  Stubby Stonehenge has some little known facts about Nebraska to share.
Jay:  I’ll need to know those before I get there.  And you know what else I’ll need?
Matt:  What’s that?
Jay:  Some Meditations by Martin to keep me calm during my travels.

Matt:  Sounds as though this is going to be a laugh packed show.
Jay:  Made only funnier by the fact that we’ll be calling the Butterball Help Line.
Matt:  Along with Butterball we have a new seasonal sponsor as well.
Jay:  Holy Cow, this is HUGE!!

Matt:  I know right?
Jay:  If folks don’t listen to IWS Radio LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET they’re wacko.
Matt:  And un-American.
Jay:  I think we’re ready.
Matt:  God Bless American and Green Bean Casserole!!
Jay:  Uuch, I think I’m feeling sick again.

To listen to the IWS Radio Show LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET, click HERE.   

Are You Ready For The Holidays!

*Sings* “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the wa…” Oh! Holaaaaaaaa! Or HO-HO-HO-La! Or something. It’s almost time for the Holidays again kids! Aren’t you excited? I know I am! You can tell by all the exclamation points I’m using!

I really do love this time of year. It’s finally cool, cold even! It was like 28 degrees when I woke up this morning. Damn near too cold to go commando, but not quite. Doesn’t the cold air make you feel alive? It does me. I feel all invigorated and shit when that cold November wind hits me in the face and makes me get all teary eyed and snot-nosed. It’s a wonderful feeling!

Why was I out in the cold wind you ask? I had to go and get something for my sore throat and this cold that I caught being outside in the cold air so much last week. So now my throat hurts all the time, I’m sniffing and sneezing non-stop, snot is running down my nose constantly and my head feels like it’s stuffed with cotton. But, that’s a small price to pay for enjoying this wonderful and magical time of year.

I just love going into any store and hear Christmas music already. I LOOOOOOVE Christmas music! I also love to wander around and look at all the cheap Christmas crap made in China. Uh, I mean all the beautiful and expertly made Christmas stuff manufactured by our very good friends over in China. (Whew! That was a close one. I would hate to have to apologize to China three times, right Jimmy Kimmel?)

Every year I go into Walmart or some other place thinking that I might get a few new Christmas decorations. I wander around and look at all the shiny stuff they have and end up getting nothing. Well, a couple of years ago I did get a new wreath for the door at an after Christmas sale, but that’s it. I’m sure this year will be the same. I’ll just put out that ceramic snowman, creepy Santa and of course Rudolph. The very same Rudolph who has been hung on the wall since I was like 10 years old.

Isn’t he cute? Why would anyone want to replace Rudolph? I guess I could get a NEW Rudolph, but what would be the point in that? Rudolph is Rudolph and that Rudolph will last another 35 years easy!

Oh don’t worry, none of these decorations will be going up until after Thanksgiving. I’m not a savage you know! Oh, that reminds me. I will once again be spending the week of Thanksgiving in beautiful, mysterious and exotic Omaha, Nebraska. (Weather permitting, of course.) So, that means I will be taking that week off from IWS related activities. No show on the 24^thunless Matt-Man wants to do the show by himself or get a special guest co-host, and no blogging that whole week by me. Try not to miss me too much, okay?

It is almost my intention to once again get all my Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving. I will either do it here or in Omaha. That way I won’t have to worry about shipping anything and trusting the USPS to actually deliver the package. I have my doubts about their ability to do that. Anyway, that way just when things start getting really hectic for most people, all I will have to do is hang Rudolph on the wall, put up the tree and make the fudge. And THAT’S what makes the Holidays such a wonderful time of year!

*Sings* “Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la.”

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