Showing posts with label Britney Spears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Britney Spears. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Loves and Fears ... Well Just Loves

Holaaaaaaaaaa all you whackos! So does everyone listen “TheMental Illness Happy Hour?” It’s a pretty good podcast hosted by Paul Gilmartin who you might remember from “Dinner and Movie” back in the day on TBS. One of the things Paul likes to do with some of his guests is an exercise called “Fears and Loves” where he and his guest will list some of the things they truly fear and love.

So, I decided I would do that here on the blog today. Well, I’m only going to do the “Loves” side because the “Fears” side means opening up a little too much and to being judged and I’m just not a fan of that. Maybe soon I will be able to bring myself to do it. We’ll see. Some of y’all are pretty fucking judgy though.

Okay, here we go with some loves ….

- College Football: Again, not just college football but something very specific about it. I love games that kick off late Saturday afternoon during the daylight and go on into the evening. As the game gets late because of twilight and the stadium lights it takes on this yellowish-orangeish glow and if it’s later in the year in some areas a little mist or fog even forms. I just find that really cool.

- Pepsi: Specifically the first sip of Pepsi each day. It’s so cold and it burns all the way down and it’s just an incredible experience.  I also like to wait until late afternoon to have my Pepsi so I’m sooooooo ready for it. Another great bonus is Pepsi makes me burp. Damn, it feels so good to let a big burp rip every once in a while.


- That rush I feel right before IWS Radio starts. Just before the show starts the annoying British lady who constantly tells how much time is left until the show starts every minute suddenly comes on and says “your show will begin in five seconds” and I feel this HUGE rush of adrenalin and get all excited and sometimes feel like I need to pee.

- Saying good morning to Jamie Mapleleaf. Every morning, well most mornings, while I’m lying in bed drifting along in that happy place between being awake and asleep I hear my tablet chime letting me know that someone played their turn on Words With Friends. A few seconds later I hear the sound of dice rolling telling me that someone has played their turn on Dice With Buddies. When I hear that I say “Good morning Jamie.” The cool part is that I’m almost always right that it was Jamie.

- Laughing and watching other people laugh. I’m not talking about just a little chuckle or giggle. I’m talking about one of those roaring, full-body, being brought to tears, now my tummy hurts laughs. Laughing so loud that everyone in the room and even outside the room can hear you and are staring at you is one of life’s great pleasures.

- Wine buzz! There really is no better feeling when it comes to alcohol than being comfortably numb from drinking wine. I’m just so relaxed feeling no pain at all.

- A great pair of legs. Nothing is better than a woman with really sexy legs. Unless it’s a woman with a great ass, of course.

- The first piece of thin crust pepperoni pizza from pizza hut. I get extra sauce which makes it a little extra zesty. The pepperonis are a little bit spicy and the cheese is gooey and oozes and it all just comes together so deliciously perfect.


- Trivia: I love learning fun and sometimes useless little facts and trivia games are perfect for that. Trivial Pursuit is my favorite board game by far.

- Politics: This one might be starting to fade since you can’t ever have a really good political discussion anymore.  Most people just spew talking points they picked up for their favorite political blog and get FURIOUS if you dare to disagree with them or challenge their world view even a little bit. Having said that, politics ain’t beanbags, and I love the back and forth and the strategy involved in getting elected and getting bills passed.

Obviously there’s more, but the average person’s (HA! I like to pretend that someone is actually reading this) attention span is contracting faster than the ice caps. So, maybe I’ll continue this on another post some other time.



Friday, January 10, 2014

MSJS: FIRE AT WILL!

Matt: Cheers ‘n shit.
Jay: Holawhatever.
Matt: Dude you need to cheer up.
Jay: I DO??? Sheesh.
Matt: Things have just been …. Blah lately.
Jay: A little Seasonal Affective Disorder
Matt: I guess.
Jay: But, things are looking up!
Matt: True. Schmoop got her unemployment!
Jay: And the ice and snow is about to melt away!
Matt: True. There are positive things happening.
Jay: And Britney Spears won a People’s Choice Award!
Matt: I’m so glad she’s back.
Jay: America is a better place when Britney is around.
Matt: Word.


Matt: So what was for supper?
Jay: You mean dinner?
Matt: What’s that?
Jay: That’s what you have as your evening meal?
Matt: Huh. Okay what was for supper?
Jay: Is that the evening meal?
Matt: It’s gonna be you LAST supper if you keep doing this!
Jay: Damn you’re touchy.
Matt: I’M ON EDGE JAYMAN! I’M ON EDGE!
Jay: Goodness! I had red beans and rice.
Matt: Oh, that’s not too bad at all.
Jay: IKR?! Whatchu havin’?
Matt: Chicken patties. Schmoop already made them.
Jay: Damn, that Schmoop is pretty thoughtful.
Matt: She’ll surprise you sometimes.
Jay: SNEAKY THOUGHTFUL!
Matt: Scrappy!
Jay: That’s how white women are.
Matt: True dat.
Jay: It doesn’t come naturally to them either.
Matt: God no! They have to work at it.


Jay: HEY! I know what always cheers you up.
Matt: What’s that?
Jay: Doing “hit pieces” on people.
Matt: Oooooo … that is always a good pick-me-up!
Jay: So let’s do it!
Matt: Who? Where? When?
Jay: On the show! Let’s take down all the a-holes!
Matt: I like it!
Jay: Just think of who you can’t stand.
Matt: Hmm … Sean Hannity, Al Sharpton, Rachel Maddow.
Jay: There you go. Take ‘em down this week.
Matt: We can do it! Who’s in your crosshairs?
Jay: Maybe Chris Hayes. Skip Bayless. A few others.
Matt: Jerks!
Jay: IKR? Also, maybe other pet-peeves.
Matt: Like?
Jay: Kids, old people, theme parties. Stupid shit.
Matt: There’s sooooo much stupid shit going on.
Jay: We can do this!
Matt: We MUST do this!
Jay: Oh one other person who needs the IWS treatment badly.
Matt and Jay: CHRIS CHRISTIE!!!!
Matt: Set phasers to destroy!
Jay: Let’s get to battle stations!
Matt: READY. FIRE. AIM!!!



Be sure to tune into “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” on IWS Radio Sunday night at 8 PM ET!!!